wanting to have a baby...

[enchantress24]

I'm so sick of being miserable and unhappy all the time. Mainly because I feel I don't have a reason to live...no motivation...nothing to wake me up in the morning or keep me going. The idea of having a a baby came to my mind last night. Maybe my own baby will give me a reason to live and wake up in the morning. Someone to love unconditionally and make me smile and laugh. I know having a child changes your life but most parents i've talked to are happy to have their children. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

[dottie]

a baby will not fix your problems. in fact, it will make them a million times harder. plus it is not fair to the baby for you to be dependant on it for happiness. it's not its job to make you a happy person.

sure people with kids say how great having kids is because they sugar coat it. you might try babysitting for like a week straight and it will change your mind. in fact, i advise it. it will be a nice favor to the parents plus it will give you a dose of reality at the same time. kids aren't little bundles of love and joy. they throw temper tantrums, shit their pants, ruin your belongings, they're noisy and invasive, etc.

 

[weak]

No disrespect but thats a pretty selfish reason to bring a kid into this world..,

For the would-be child's sake, I hope you reconsider.

 

[obita]

Yeah, probably not the best reason to have a baby.

Have you considered getting a pet though? You could love it unconditionally, and depending on the pet, they can be great companions. I think there's research out there that when nursing homes have resident pets, patients' happiness and wellbeing is positively affected. It might be an idea. It's less costly and less responsibility (kind of) with similar benefits.

 

[Helyna]

No, I don't think a baby would be a good idea. There are several reasons for this.
1. Do you really want to go through the hormones and weight and general trouble of pregnancy?
2. The baby will keep you up at night for months. Lack of sleep won't help things.
3. You're likely to pass on your social phobia though genes and example.
4. You'll have to go places for your child and create a social life for him/her... well, maybe this will help, but what if you can't find the strength?
5. What happens when your child has a problem of some kind at school and you need to stand up for him/her?
6. This reason for having a baby is likely to lead to you being clingy and wanting particular paths for the child that he/she might not agree to.
7. Your unhappiness is now and a child is eighteen years. You can't give up once you've started.

So maybe you want to do something with less of a commitment and less responsibility. What about volunteering? There are places where you can be a mentor for a needy child. This doesn't put you in such a difficult place, and you can do something to help out a world that needs more people to love children.

 

[coriander1992]

Yeah, probably not the best reason to have a baby.

Have you considered getting a pet though? You could love it unconditionally, and depending on the pet, they can be great companions. I think there's research out there that when nursing homes have resident pets, patients' happiness and wellbeing is positively affected. It might be an idea. It's less costly and less responsibility (kind of) with similar benefits.

Good idea ^^

Your desire for happiness is no reason to have a baby, it wouldn't be fair on it. Get a puppy :wink:

 

[Incognito]

I don't understand what the big deal is, everyone who has a baby does it because they believe it will make them happy. She's just stating it explicitly.

 

[Walk]

I'll confess that sometimes I feel like getting a gf and raising a baby, even adopting. haha

I don't really want to have kids, but I do have the occasional desire to do so.

As cocky as it sounds, I think I know exactly what to do in order for him/her to be a confident, intelligent person.

Mainly because I'd just do the opposite of much of what's happened in my life. But then I remember that I should first treat MYSELF to my own advice and to continue to improve on dealing with my SA to the degree that I become a functional adult before I start to raise any child.

 

[Helyna]

I don't understand what the big deal is, everyone who has a baby does it because they believe it will make them happy.

MORE happy. She's depending on it for almost everything.