Zarrix
Well-known member
Sunday, May 4, 2008
You can Walk the walk, but can you talk the talk?
There is something I have a major problem doing around strangers and it is the simplest expression humanity could come up with, talking. Many SA sufferers have immense ability in certain aspects of life, but they are embarrassed by their ability, in many ways. Is it not good enough?, after all there will always be someone better than you! Is it simply not accepted? So what if he can touch his nose with his tongue! Therefore, we are an enigmatic breed. Deep down, we know that we can achieve greatness, but we don't want people to know about our best skills or talents. You can have all the pizazz in the world, but if no one knows about it, then it really matters stuff all.
If one of my (few) friends was asked about my persona, what I got upto on thw weekends without their involvement, they wouldn't have a clue in hell besides the fact I play World of Warcraft (though they are the only ones that know that!). Forget about asking a work colleague, I avoid discussions not about the job at hand like the plague. Not that I get asked many anyway, simply because I seem so disconnected from everything. Truth is though, I like it that way. We are a very private bunch. The wall which we have built over time protects our personality from the hostilites of the outside world. It lets very few things through its guard, only if it is certain (or near certain) that it wont blow back up in its face.
To many, a personality is like a beacon that should be shining apon the world as much as possible. The confidence gained by the megaton's of positivism far outweighs the quality and quantity of the few negative salvo's. However, somehow, SA sufferers see this the other way around. Every question about your personality is like a homing missile heading towards your battered psyche. Hell even a nice blessing can be tainted by the negative nature of our spirit sometimes.
Someone asks you to go to a party. Are they being friendly? Nope, they are getting ready to unleash a further blitz on our feeble and battle-worn mind, even if the people involved don't intend it, it will end up happening anyway.
It is strange, that we have the ability to walk the walk, but revealing the achievement to the outside world is so much more painful than climbing the mountain. Because as soon as we duly show it to the outside world, the missile attack begins, and once again, we are back to square one. We cannot achieve nothing, except the trivial individual pedantic victory. Still, we gotta get our satisfaction from somewhere, even if it is only being able to add up 10945458+993243 in our head.
I seem to have problems with expressing achievements to the rest of the world. These little victories are largely individual buffers. Because no one else will give a rats about what I have acheived. However, when it comes to social ambitions, such as forcing yourself to go to a party, or an outing, its the other way around! Although the only person we are talking to is ourselves =(
You can Walk the walk, but can you talk the talk?
There is something I have a major problem doing around strangers and it is the simplest expression humanity could come up with, talking. Many SA sufferers have immense ability in certain aspects of life, but they are embarrassed by their ability, in many ways. Is it not good enough?, after all there will always be someone better than you! Is it simply not accepted? So what if he can touch his nose with his tongue! Therefore, we are an enigmatic breed. Deep down, we know that we can achieve greatness, but we don't want people to know about our best skills or talents. You can have all the pizazz in the world, but if no one knows about it, then it really matters stuff all.
If one of my (few) friends was asked about my persona, what I got upto on thw weekends without their involvement, they wouldn't have a clue in hell besides the fact I play World of Warcraft (though they are the only ones that know that!). Forget about asking a work colleague, I avoid discussions not about the job at hand like the plague. Not that I get asked many anyway, simply because I seem so disconnected from everything. Truth is though, I like it that way. We are a very private bunch. The wall which we have built over time protects our personality from the hostilites of the outside world. It lets very few things through its guard, only if it is certain (or near certain) that it wont blow back up in its face.
To many, a personality is like a beacon that should be shining apon the world as much as possible. The confidence gained by the megaton's of positivism far outweighs the quality and quantity of the few negative salvo's. However, somehow, SA sufferers see this the other way around. Every question about your personality is like a homing missile heading towards your battered psyche. Hell even a nice blessing can be tainted by the negative nature of our spirit sometimes.
Someone asks you to go to a party. Are they being friendly? Nope, they are getting ready to unleash a further blitz on our feeble and battle-worn mind, even if the people involved don't intend it, it will end up happening anyway.
It is strange, that we have the ability to walk the walk, but revealing the achievement to the outside world is so much more painful than climbing the mountain. Because as soon as we duly show it to the outside world, the missile attack begins, and once again, we are back to square one. We cannot achieve nothing, except the trivial individual pedantic victory. Still, we gotta get our satisfaction from somewhere, even if it is only being able to add up 10945458+993243 in our head.
I seem to have problems with expressing achievements to the rest of the world. These little victories are largely individual buffers. Because no one else will give a rats about what I have acheived. However, when it comes to social ambitions, such as forcing yourself to go to a party, or an outing, its the other way around! Although the only person we are talking to is ourselves =(