Voice tone around strangers

[Day_Tripper]

When I speak with friends, family, or anyone I'm close with, I'm able to speak pretty loud and clearly, but when I'm talking with someone I don't really know, I feel like I'm not in control of it. Luckily it doesn't crack or get shakey, but I just speak sort of in this emotionless monotone voice. None of my words come out the way I intend. When I say hi or bye, or sorry when I bump into someone, I feel like even I can barely hear myself. Does this happen to you?

 

[dottie]

yeah but i go high pitch ugh

 

[Foxglove]

I tend to speak in a higher voice with strangers or casual acquaintances than I do normally. No idea why.

 

[nhen]

My thing is that my personality completely goes out the window. I can't crack a joke to save my life. I come across as extremely serious, which is funny, because I'm hardly ever serious with people I know well. In fact, that's probably my wife's number one criticism of me.

 

[Leki]

I mumble and my voice just kind of trails of. I think its like i'm just indicating to the person that i know what i have to say is just so unimportant

 

[ripewithdecay]

Recently i've been practicing slowing my voice down in public, and for the most part it works great - however, i can't seem to get over this high pitched tone with people i've just met. I don't really know how it sounds to them but to me it sounds too polite, too cheery and childish.
But I think the common problems with tone of voice is nervousness (speeding up) and talking from the throat instead of the gut. When i'm at home talking on the phone i get this gentle reverberating feeling in my stomach and my voice sounds smooth and deep and more understandable, not to mention louder and more clearly. Can't seem to get that going around other people though. And if I try too hard to correct it, it'll come out monotone and almost angry sounding.

 

[Saya_Shuri]

I'm loud and rather obnoxious sounding around people I know well, but out in public I speak slowly and quietly - when I speak at all. Most of the time I can't even get myself to talk.

 

[Caseums21]

I mumble and my voice just kind of trails of. I think its like i'm just indicating to the person that i know what i have to say is just so unimportant

I'm the same way. I feel like I nothing I say is important and they only ask me questions or talk to me, just to be nice. Also, I play with my hands a lot and never look at people in their eyes.

 

[Saya_Shuri]

Whenever I make eye contact with someone, it's only when I trust them utterly, currently numbering only one person, and when I do do it, people know I'm as serious as I'm gonna get. I also constantly play with things - rings, bottle caps, cell phone, etc., anything I can lay my hands on, even if it's just in my pocket. Although I do that all the time, not just in public, so I think it may be ADD or something... but still, it's like a necessity in public and more of a subconscious habit at home.

 

[Emma]

I sound like a baby, or i mumble and no-one can hear me

 

[LonelyGirl]

I can never make my voice come out as loud as I want it to and it's usually more high pitched. It doesn't feel natural to speak - it feels forced. It's like my body is telling me I shouldn't talk when my brain is telling me I should.

 

[DT123]

Recently i've been practicing slowing my voice down in public, and for the most part it works great - however, i can't seem to get over this high pitched tone with people i've just met. I don't really know how it sounds to them but to me it sounds too polite, too cheery and childish.
But I think the common problems with tone of voice is nervousness (speeding up) and talking from the throat instead of the gut. When i'm at home talking on the phone i get this gentle reverberating feeling in my stomach and my voice sounds smooth and deep and more understandable, not to mention louder and more clearly. Can't seem to get that going around other people though. And if I try too hard to correct it, it'll come out monotone and almost angry sounding.

That's exactly...spot on...how I am..

 

[Jura]

At one time I'd talk quietly and mumble in a deep voice around certain people but now it's gotten better.

 

[SilentType]

Yeah if anything I say goes over a few words I end up mumbling into idiocy most of the time, just because my voice starts to crack or so quiet nobody can hear... It's weird that we all have experienced this so similarly. It's a very odd place to be in... I think it just has to do with our overall increased sensitivity (in all senses).

Peace

 

[EveM]

I think my voice might change a bit but not really noticeably. well I hope not 8O I'll have to check next time I speak to a stranger, might be a long wait though

 

[anale]

I am the same - INTRO

Hi everyone,

After reading this post, I thought this would be a good place to start.
Whenever I meet new people, especially if it is work related, my voice goes out the window, I do the mumble thing and what I fear most, always happens...They say sorry, could you say that again? The fact that I am from overseas and have an accent does not help as well, but I am aware that I get so anxious/scared about the situation that I do make my worst fears come true.
I have been feeling quite down. I missed work today as I usually do temp work and once things go wrong, I do feel like fleeing and never ever going back.
You know, rationally I know that my fears are exaggerated but still can't control my anxiety. I am seeing a therapist but lately OI feel like I haven't made much progress, actually I feel like I went back quite a bit.
I am feeling quite helpless, hopefully people out there can relate to how I feel and share some advice. Cheers
Anna

 

[conker51]

Recently i've been practicing slowing my voice down in public, and for the most part it works great - however, i can't seem to get over this high pitched tone with people i've just met. I don't really know how it sounds to them but to me it sounds too polite, too cheery and childish.
But I think the common problems with tone of voice is nervousness (speeding up) and talking from the throat instead of the gut. When i'm at home talking on the phone i get this gentle reverberating feeling in my stomach and my voice sounds smooth and deep and more understandable, not to mention louder and more clearly. Can't seem to get that going around other people though. And if I try too hard to correct it, it'll come out monotone and almost angry sounding.

That's exactly...spot on...how I am..

Yeah that is me to a T. On top of that my job requires a lot of communication among colleagues and customers, which I am obviously horrible at. It also includes a lot of traveling abroad, which also freaks me out. Needless to say I am a f-ing peon at my job.

 

[Tryin]

I sound like a baby, or i mumble and no-one can hear me

Me too. And I stutter.

 

[soveryshy]

I have the same problem, I come off so serious that I think it turns people off from me. With my friends and family, I'm completely the opposite. It's like this wall comes up when I'm around strangers so that they don't see what I'm really like. It's like I'm a robot :/