Visiting family next weekend. Dreading it.

[SmileMore]

I've been invited to come a visit my auntie next Saturday. My step-mother invited me and I said I'd go. Mainly because I didn't want to disappoint people but also I'm trying to push myself to get out of my comfort zone.

It's a big deal for me because I'll be seeing my dad (my mum brought me up) who I haven't seen for at least 2 years, my two half sisters who I also haven't seen for years and my auntie who I last saw when I was about 12 (i'm 25). I do want to go because I want to start socializing more but at the same time I'm terrified.

They're picking me up and I keep trying to work out what I'm going to say when I get in the car. My sisters are 17 and 14 and I'm older so I don't know how I'm going to be able to relate to them.

I'm really sick of feeling nervous and scared about stupid things like this. I just want to be normal and enjoy life and not worry constantly about saying or doing something stupid.

Any advice?

 

[PersonaChaotica]

Allow me to laugh at your problem because I know exact story from my own experience. My family is packed with high egos, successful, loud people. I'm as well extremely annoyed when I need to go for a visit. Unless it's a funeral. Less emotions then But often there are beers around so helps ease it up a bit But you'll be back at no time and it'll pass. Just one more time to go through those situations shhheeh right?

 

[mart22n]

Hi SmileMore!

Been there, done that. Two weeks ago I had a social gathering with siblings I hadn't met before. They're like 19, I'm 26. At first I felt very nervous and was quiet, but then I thought, "to hell with that, I wanna feel free and good!". So what I did, was, I asked the two siblings and their friend, "What's your opinion when I say that I get totally nervous when talking to you?" No big deal they said, we still love you no matter what, cause we're relatives So the next thing I said was "I'm not afraid to look you in the eyes!" (kind of releases the social tension for me as well ). They didn't show much reaction to that. And the last thing I asked them was, "So, I guess I can take it easy in your company, right?", to which they replied, "Of course you can!"

Problem solved, I felt a lot more at ease. People won't usually kill you if you admit being nervous in their company

 

[mikebird]

Allow me to laugh at your problem because I know exact story from my own experience. My family is packed with high egos, successful, loud people. I'm as well extremely annoyed when I need to go for a visit. Unless it's a funeral. Less emotions then But often there are beers around so helps ease it up a bit But you'll be back at no time and it'll pass. Just one more time to go through those situations shhheeh right?

This thread makes me really happy that I've discovered socialphobiaworld...

Family are a big issue. I really never belonged to my family. Yep. My entire SA is heavily based on family. Dead people in my core once I was 18, and then 22, and when I was 30. When Mum said that they tried to have me after my brothers, but it took another 30 years. Life was so good when I grew up, and I never thought so, until I got to this website. Not sure if I appreciate egos or hate people like that. I do feel very null after a childhood as a single kid, locked up in my bedroom in a big hotel / house with parents of grandparent age, unable to relate to other families & friends who all have been born within a lot less 50-year gap of parents. Everyone in my core family (parents), mid (brothers & nieces), and outer cousins, aunties & uncles), every single one of them, I never saw anything of their faces apart from a massive broad smile and energetic giggle. Prosperous. I don't like having a lone Dad at 86, who's not very pleased with his life, regretting me. I dread the time when he's gone. I'm powerless

I need to stop being dull or sad. I wish there would be a war right in England one day, so I'd have a life-changing experience I need, as my parents lived right through to the end of World War II. I'd do something more important than just making money. I have survival skills beyond anyone else. I'd enjoy protecting people around me, sacrificing myself. I'd do anything to stay away from an office. Don't wanna be a civvy. I want to make a mark.