no1
Banned
I don't know if this is panic or rage or whatever.. but I seem to be getting lots of bursts of very violent energy I simply do not know what to do with. I feel like going on rampages and destroying things (not so much people) for no apparent reason. Well there may be a reason but I just don't know what to do with it. even when I try to sit still I get the feeling of JUST GETTING THE F*CK UP AND BREAKING THINGS ON PURPOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It even feels hormonal. Maybe it's adrenaline. It's something. Maybe its the fact that I have so many things to take care of yet there is simply no way to take care of those things such that I just get an accumulation of raw energy that I have no "orderly way" of using. I feel like going out in public and just destroying things. I feel like I need to leave my mark somewhere. I feel like running back and forth and in all directions at the same time. I feel like.. going in front of a crowd and just shooting myself. I feel like creating waves. I feel like I don't f*cking exist!!!!!!! I don't know what to do with all this energy. Even though I'm tired as hell. Even though I go to the gym all and run as much as I can. Even though this and that I still have all this uncontrollable violent energy. It's getting crazy. I feel like screaming! I feel like my brain is splitting in 2. I feel like going in many directions at the same time. I feel hopeless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like just .. destroying myself or the universe for how f*cked up everything is. It seems like I wont get anywhere in this life and it's f*cked up.
I feel like just flipping. I feel like I'm on the edge... if one person pushes me that far I don't know what monster I might become, and in the end I'll hate what I've become, because I know in my heart that I don't mean wrong.
It even feels hormonal. Maybe it's adrenaline. It's something. Maybe its the fact that I have so many things to take care of yet there is simply no way to take care of those things such that I just get an accumulation of raw energy that I have no "orderly way" of using. I feel like going out in public and just destroying things. I feel like I need to leave my mark somewhere. I feel like running back and forth and in all directions at the same time. I feel like.. going in front of a crowd and just shooting myself. I feel like creating waves. I feel like I don't f*cking exist!!!!!!! I don't know what to do with all this energy. Even though I'm tired as hell. Even though I go to the gym all and run as much as I can. Even though this and that I still have all this uncontrollable violent energy. It's getting crazy. I feel like screaming! I feel like my brain is splitting in 2. I feel like going in many directions at the same time. I feel hopeless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like just .. destroying myself or the universe for how f*cked up everything is. It seems like I wont get anywhere in this life and it's f*cked up.
I feel like just flipping. I feel like I'm on the edge... if one person pushes me that far I don't know what monster I might become, and in the end I'll hate what I've become, because I know in my heart that I don't mean wrong.