Ayla
Well-known member
you know, I have noticed that many posts show up here about people just wanting friends, or boyfriends or girlfriends, and although I TOTALLY understand the sentiment...I just wanted to offer a different point of view.
my whole life I have always had friends...but usually best friends, or boyfriends, not big groups of people. and these friends have always been possessive and jealous and....I don't know why...maybe I attract those people, or maybe something about me makes people like that. Anyways, I've always felt like a POSSESSION, not a friend. anytime I met new people, they would always feel threatened.
I just broke up a relationship that was like that. Yesterday, my ex (who is also my baby's father, so there's good reason for me to be still talking to him) asked me to come over and hang out with him...and then changed his mind, told me that he doesn't want to be friends with me or be nice to me because I don't want to be with him; because I hurt him because I didn't want to be his wife. He had no use for me, unless I was serving his purpose. He doesn't even feel like he should have to speak nicely to me, or be civil. I gave 4 years to this guy, trying to make it work. 4 years of sacrifice and he can't give me even a kind word now.
I just feel like, I either have to give all of myself, every last inch of me, to people, or they don't want me. They don't need me.
My point: don't just assume that anyone loving you with solve all your problems. Sometimes that IS the biggest problem. And what if you do find someone, but it doesn't work out.
Of course look for others to love; but love yourself and protect yourself first. You are the only person who will always validate you; who's purpose in life will always be in sinc with yours.
my whole life I have always had friends...but usually best friends, or boyfriends, not big groups of people. and these friends have always been possessive and jealous and....I don't know why...maybe I attract those people, or maybe something about me makes people like that. Anyways, I've always felt like a POSSESSION, not a friend. anytime I met new people, they would always feel threatened.
I just broke up a relationship that was like that. Yesterday, my ex (who is also my baby's father, so there's good reason for me to be still talking to him) asked me to come over and hang out with him...and then changed his mind, told me that he doesn't want to be friends with me or be nice to me because I don't want to be with him; because I hurt him because I didn't want to be his wife. He had no use for me, unless I was serving his purpose. He doesn't even feel like he should have to speak nicely to me, or be civil. I gave 4 years to this guy, trying to make it work. 4 years of sacrifice and he can't give me even a kind word now.
I just feel like, I either have to give all of myself, every last inch of me, to people, or they don't want me. They don't need me.
My point: don't just assume that anyone loving you with solve all your problems. Sometimes that IS the biggest problem. And what if you do find someone, but it doesn't work out.
Of course look for others to love; but love yourself and protect yourself first. You are the only person who will always validate you; who's purpose in life will always be in sinc with yours.
