savagewisdom
Well-known member
Things have improved in the past few months. I moved out of my parents' house, have my own apartment, started working nearly two months ago, go beyond my comfort zone for my job, should be proud, should feel grateful for the progress I've made, and I am, but I'm still really unhappy and depressed.
I've come to completely acknowledge that it's rude when people point out what they perceive as flaws in me. All these years I've felt insecure, operating in the mode of incomplete, a fixer-upper who's fundamentally ****ed up. Unworthy of friendship until problems are resolved. Why do I have such negative feelings? It's from people lecturing me and pointing out what's "wrong" with me. Obviously I've always felt bothered/uncomfortable with such comments but lately I'm starting to feel irritated on my behalf, like how dare these people treat me that way. I don't go around lecturing and saying, "wow. you're quiet." or "whoa, you're really obnoxious. Why are you so obnoxious?"
I'm not suggesting that I don't want to improve as a person but it's utter bullshit being treated like you're deficient as a person. I try so god damn hard and it's never enough. I try to extend myself, but nope, I'm still not engaging enough. Because it's such a crime to be introverted. Gotta constantly talk and fill in dem gaps. Silence bad.
So yeah, **** all the people who don't accept me as I am.
**** the people who act like their friendship with me is on the condition that I get better at life and become a more functional, "normal" person.
I've come to completely acknowledge that it's rude when people point out what they perceive as flaws in me. All these years I've felt insecure, operating in the mode of incomplete, a fixer-upper who's fundamentally ****ed up. Unworthy of friendship until problems are resolved. Why do I have such negative feelings? It's from people lecturing me and pointing out what's "wrong" with me. Obviously I've always felt bothered/uncomfortable with such comments but lately I'm starting to feel irritated on my behalf, like how dare these people treat me that way. I don't go around lecturing and saying, "wow. you're quiet." or "whoa, you're really obnoxious. Why are you so obnoxious?"
I'm not suggesting that I don't want to improve as a person but it's utter bullshit being treated like you're deficient as a person. I try so god damn hard and it's never enough. I try to extend myself, but nope, I'm still not engaging enough. Because it's such a crime to be introverted. Gotta constantly talk and fill in dem gaps. Silence bad.
So yeah, **** all the people who don't accept me as I am.
**** the people who act like their friendship with me is on the condition that I get better at life and become a more functional, "normal" person.
