Uncomfortable pauses

[rko74]

Does anyone like talk to a friend and you run outa things to talk about and theirs a small pause in the conversation.I hate those uncomfotable pauses

A person i met in my class phones me alot, he seems like a cool person and we share a common interest in computer games.He like phones me everyday just to chat, lol sometimes i get nervous and dont know what to say at times.

Does anyone else hate uncomortable pauses in conversation?

 

[Septor]

I hate those to.In my case we end up just looking at each other.Waiting for one of us to say something.Which just make me more nervous.

 

[rko74]

yup

lol yeah, if the pause goes for longer than like 30 seconds i feel like im going to shit myself in embarassment.

 

[Richey]

i find group discussions to be the hardest, i know my friends can just go on and on about any topic and im just sitting there petrified because i feel like my input will be lame, and ive noticed that when i do finally start giving to the discussion the people dont even respond and im like "why do i bother if they're not even interested anyway" ive just come back from an entire day of Easter celebrations with the family and there were so many awkward silences, in fact i went to have a chat with my cousins and it just felt like they wanted to escape everytime i had something to say and they just wanted to hang out with my sisters boyfriend instead; this is really having an affect on me at the moment and im not sure i can keep throwing myself in the deep end as much as i am lately, i find that even though im gaining social experiance it never gets any easier and i feel like everyone else is more interesting than me and they know what to say, they know how to make people laugh! at any moment, ive never felt such an intense dislike for myself like i do today

 

[IceLad]

I think pauses are a natural part of the conversation process. Like everyone else however, its hard not to feel uncomfortable when they occur. Remember the emphasis isn't just on you to talk, its up to the other person or people as well.

 

[savage_beagle]

0o0o0o0......you guys probably wouldnt like my reaction then. I can be a joker, and if i know you, i have been known to blurt out stuff to break the awkward silence of others. A few times i actually have said.''okkkk c'mon already, i gotta take shit, spit it out''. Other times, i do a ''homer simpson'', where my mind drifts off and im chasing hamburgers thru a meadow and its raining beer. I then get caught with a stupid smirk on my face and i'll get asked ''whatzo funny??''---and then i quickly lie that i was just thinking about a show on tv the other night..some quick bullshit and we are back in another conversation. Life is short, have fun with it. :wink:

 

[dzerklis]

i usually have only 'yes no' conversations haha so nothing to worry about, i mean pauses.

 

[Rainman]

ok....................................................................................................
Pauses in conversations are just a natural thing
when it happens to me i usually just crack a joke like...hmmmmm and then there was silence across the land or something daft...that then just breaks the silence and the other person doesnt feel like they were alone feeling like there was a silence :lol:
its nothing to worry for......just relax and dont think about it....worrying aint gona make no difference......have fun.......were all human after all [/b]

Yes, I also bring attention to the silence, to get them talking again. One time, I mentioned in a group of peers(not exactly friends) during a very awkward silence, how they are uncomfortable and some of them just looked at me funny for saying that.

I have a friend I talk to on the phone once in a while, we discuss very weird things and by gosh is she difficult to talk and fights over everything. If you've misunderstood her, it's because you're not listening and she turns it into an issue. We talk to each other less now, mostly because our conversations are full of silences. She talks a lot of nonsense and bullshit and thinks it's wisdom

I usually get off the phone after too many silences. I know there is nothing more to talk about.


Richy,

I can absolutely relate to that. They have become so use to you not sharing in the group, that when you do acually share, they don't actually pay attention to you. They've mentally filtered you out. I get that a lot and it really annoys me.

In fact some people at work say to new collegues, when I am talking to them and they have misunderstand what I said "Oh, were use to him now" or "You'll get use to it" meaning "were use to ignoring him". It's so rude and next time it happens I am going to ask them exactly what they are use to and put them straight.

The best way to chime in Richy, is to raise your voice a little, look them right in their eyes and say something they can agree to at first. So even if you disagree, say something like "I think your view is interesting" You will catch their attention(they love compliments) and then say yours. They will need to get use to you speaking up and sharing your opinions.

 

[MariahCarey]

if u hav the guts u could break into a song and sing ur heart out to the person ur chattin to........i mite try it 1 day, just to see the reaction

 

[Richey]

you guys dont have serious SP if you can do that just general anxiety sounds more like your symptoms, and thanks for the tips :wink:

 

[Septor]

I think pauses are a natural part of the conversation process. Like everyone else however, its hard not to feel uncomfortable when they occur. Remember the emphasis isn't just on you to talk, its up to the other person or people as well.

I think there a different between a natural pause and a unnatural pause.When your sitting staring at each for long period of time not saying anything that's not natural pause.

But your right a conversation a is a 2 way street and both people are are responsible for keeping the conversation going.

 

[newshyguy]

12

when i talk to afriend that doesnt happen to me 8) 8) 8)

it depends on who you talking to

 

[makeshiftperson]

He like phones me everyday just to chat

Someones got a boyfriend :lol:

But seriously I hate that I don't have any cool stories to tell. Like sitting around the campfire drinking and it comes to my turn to tell a story I have nothing. :x

 

[IceLad]

I think us social phobics are way too quick to take the blame for things including conversational mishaps.