Unambitious

[Dancer]

I've been suffering from social phobia for years but i just thought it was shyness until a few months ago when I did some research..
Anyway, it really sucks.. simple things like cashing a cheque make me nervous as hell, and don't even talk about parties! *shudder*
Another thing that bothers me is I don't have any desire for a career anymore. Everyone seems to want to do something big, but I'd be quite happy just being able to talk to people normally, and go to parties.. you know, things that "normal" people do.. whatever that is.
Everyone around me expects me to get some sort of higher education and get a fancy career. *sigh*
Up till now, I have NEVER mentioned my social anxiety to anyone.. my parents simply think I'm shy.
I'm very glad I found this forum, how amazing it is to find out that other people have the same problems as me!
I look forward to making friends with you guys.

 

[Dancer]

Ah, me too. I love to read novels to escape from reality.
Same with videogames

 

[Waybuloo]

oo count me in the unambitious club. I have no career aspirations, even weirder when i'm in the middle of a degree that i feel nothing for and everyone's talkin about flyin high in the coporate world - slaves

welcome to SPW!

 

[Septor]

Welcome dancer.Im pretty unambitious to most of the time.Just sit in front of the computer and sleep but im not always so unambitious.I get to doing something but I get discourage and become unambitious again.

 

[Reholla]

I'm in college as of now and it's really hard for me to manage anxiety along with grades/ my social life and lack there of. I feel really unambitious like you, and not motivated.

Some ppl with anxiety cases claim that theyve been able to keep their grades up because they knew thats the thing they could stay on top of...and since they had more time to themselves, studying made time go by faster.

I am not finding this at all. It's hard for me to ask questions or speak up in my classes, which to other people is no big deal. When i do homework at my house I keep obsessing over the fact that I am lonely and would rather have a better social life, so its really hard for me to focus.

Taking tests are EXTREMELY hard too...some people get test anxiety, and welll, I just have ANXIETY, so it affects that too.

I dont know if anyone else has epxerienced this too, but I get a "fuzzy in the head" feeling...like I blank out many times through out the day. Not only in talking to people, but also trying to memorize things for classes seem a lot harder. Motivation is definitely hard for me!!

 

[Horatio]

I might be the exception here

Ive always had a lot of ambition careerwise and my work is the one part of my life that I'm proud of.

what worked for me was that I've always been able to channel at least some of my frustration towards my long term goals. the more frustrated I got with my social anxiety, the more determined I became to be succesful at achieving my long term career goals.

trying to manage a career with social anxiety is not easy at all and can cause me a lot of stress and anxiety but Im now at the stage where I can't give up after getting this far

I just wish I could succeed at other areas of my life, because my work is the only thing Ive done well at in the last 10 years

 

[Nie]

I wouldnt call mine a "fuzzy in the head" feeling, but i can relate to what you mean. It's like you're trying to focus but you can't seem to because your mind is elsewhere. yeap, i find trying to memorize things for class is much more difficult.

My mind is always elsewhere too, so I can relate as well.
Can't concentrate or memorize things well with all the distress and agony.
I'm so disoriented.

 

[Chris22]

my plan after high school (which i finished in normal time with normal grades and with a reasonable social life) was going to college. Which i did and i was motivated to learn something. But I couldnt adept to the new situation switched to some other studies. Im now six years further and my social life is a mess. I've got no plans for a career because my fear of failure is so great i dont even know what to do anymore. I 've got no activities which i enjoy anymore. I worry a lot about my future. I got al the chances , my parents gave me the chance to study but now i totally screwed it. Just because of my social anxiety, fear of failure. And now a very nice depression because of that. My normal life ended pretty much at high school.
Im crying daily now. I mean not in my head, but real tears. Sometimes i want to make an end to my misery. But i cant do it for some reason.
But what's the use for living if i daily cry,have no plans for the future, feeling guilty/failed. Because of my depression i react very reserved to people. So people avoid you. And I really need the love to get better.
Sometimes i wish i had some disease people could see. Then they would see it and care for you.
But depression is just the worst. Outside seems quite normal but inside it's just a simple hell. All the things people life for(love, relationship, work, wanting to achieve something in life and some other things) that is destroyed in my mind. And im just 23, im so ashamed of myself.

i always hope that i will get better, but i only got downhill, if this continues i wont make 2007 not because of suicide but ill die because of my sadness.

sorry to say this, but i guess depression beats all illnesses. And "normal" people not seeiing anything wrong about you at the outside just makes it worse.

take care

 

[sutiono]

my plan after high school (which i finished in normal time with normal grades and with a reasonable social life) was going to college. Which i did and i was motivated to learn something. But I couldnt adept to the new situation switched to some other studies. Im now six years further and my social life is a mess. I've got no plans for a career because my fear of failure is so great i dont even know what to do anymore. I 've got no activities which i enjoy anymore. I worry a lot about my future. I got al the chances , my parents gave me the chance to study but now i totally screwed it. Just because of my social anxiety, fear of failure. And now a very nice depression because of that. My normal life ended pretty much at high school.
Im crying daily now. I mean not in my head, but real tears. Sometimes i want to make an end to my misery. But i cant do it for some reason.
But what's the use for living if i daily cry,have no plans for the future, feeling guilty/failed. Because of my depression i react very reserved to people. So people avoid you. And I really need the love to get better.
Sometimes i wish i had some disease people could see. Then they would see it and care for you.
But depression is just the worst. Outside seems quite normal but inside it's just a simple hell. All the things people life for(love, relationship, work, wanting to achieve something in life and some other things) that is destroyed in my mind. And im just 23, im so ashamed of myself.

i always hope that i will get better, but i only got downhill, if this continues i wont make 2007 not because of suicide but ill die because of my sadness.

sorry to say this, but i guess depression beats all illnesses. And "normal" people not seeiing anything wrong about you at the outside just makes it worse.

take care

You reminded me about what my mom just said to me. She said something like in America once you get fired you had screwed your entire future because now you have a bad reputation and wouldn't get any job. I thought is it really so? There are many people who are in jail and even they have a chance to get a job and live a better live( I watched a documentary about the Fed's biggest jail). Also I used to get really depressed about my appearence. But one time when I was hating myself inside the the bathroom I looked at a magazine that had pictures of runners who just completed a marathon. There was a picture of a guy without legs on a skateboard. There was a sentence under it which read," I was born without legs but used to skateboard when I was a kid. So I modified a skateboard with rollerblade wheels, which I push with my hands. I wear hockey gloves, but they get torn up-especially on the bridges." Then I realized how fortunate I was. A guy like me with four limbs complain about my physique when another guy with two missing limbs not only accept the reality but also challenges what most normal people can't - completing a marathon. Now whenever I feel really depressed over anything I would remind myself of this guy and that there are many people who are much unfortunate than myself.

 

[jauggy]

Also I used to get really depressed about my appearence. But one time when I was hating myself inside the the bathroom I looked at a magazine that had pictures of runners who just completed a marathon. There was a picture of a guy without legs on a skateboard. There was a sentence under it which read," I was born without legs but used to skateboard when I was a kid. So I modified a skateboard with rollerblade wheels, which I push with my hands. I wear hockey gloves, but they get torn up-especially on the bridges." Then I realized how fortunate I was. A guy like me with four limbs complain about my physique when another guy with two missing limbs not only accept the reality but also challenges what most normal people can't - completing a marathon. Now whenever I feel really depressed over anything I would remind myself of this guy and that there are many people who are much unfortunate than myself.

That's a very nice story Sutiono. Thanks for sharing.

 

[triceratops]

I might be the exception here

Ive always had a lot of ambition careerwise and my work is the one part of my life that I'm proud of.

what worked for me was that I've always been able to channel at least some of my frustration towards my long term goals. the more frustrated I got with my social anxiety, the more determined I became to be succesful at achieving my long term career goals.

trying to manage a career with social anxiety is not easy at all and can cause me a lot of stress and anxiety but Im now at the stage where I can't give up after getting this far

I just wish I could succeed at other areas of my life, because my work is the only thing Ive done well at in the last 10 years

Nope I think I might also be an exception can really relate to what you say. If anything having social anxiety has made me more determined. Theres a lot of things I cant do because of social anxiety so it just makes me more determined to try and prove everyone wrong. I think it comes down to the fact that my sa has caused me to fail in a lot of areas for example college I ended up missing a lot of lessons because sometimes i couldnt face going in which my parents put down to me being unmotivated and not willing to work so because of people's disappointment in me I have this burning desire to do well in life and be sucessfull.