Moonie,
Instead of letting others impressions of who you are lock-you-in and effect you more than you want them to:-
try this way of thinking about such experiences...
"I am the witness of other peoples' thoughts and impressions about me"
Let them have their labels -their way of understanding their (and remember, not your) world. The more room you give to different or unfavorable viewpoints, impressions and even labels, the more room you give to your own and the ones you want to give more to yourself.
(By giving room, I mean taking the 'observer stance'; this way a person does what is necessary, when it is necessary, to defend themselves or object to what others think or do; but they also take the hurt out of what is done to them.)
This above tactic (that by the way, I pinched and altered a little from
www.mindfulrecovery.com) puts you at what is called the third opinion -this is the power position, because it's smack bang in the middle between what others think of you and what you (want) to think of you. And the better at staying in this middle space the better at steering the whole scenario the way you want it. And it gives this control at the same time that it takes the force out of any perceived injuries to a person's sense of self.
Another thing is to notice when you're caring too much and devoting too much energy to what people think of you.
...but this second thing complements the first method.
