Trying new things...

crashmodem

Well-known member
#1
When people say to try new things, and try to get out and such, i just laugh, because everytime that i have tried to go out, i get ignored, rejected, and left out.

So tell me something, if getting out and trying new things, even the small steps, which i have tried and got shot down on, what makes you think that people should keep on trying and trying, and still ending up failing, just like everything else in life.
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#2
Because maybe, just maybe, one attempt in a hundred might be positive, but you don't just sit back, give up, and quit trying and let your self wide open to get taken in completely by the depression, etc. Even one positive attempt in 100 is better than NONE or better than sitting around feeling hopeless & defeated. Don't go out depending on others to improve your condition or make you happy, just go OUT, alone..go for walks, go to a park and enjoy nature. Ride a bike. Fly a kite, get a RC car or plane. Go for a drive in the country........
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#3
You have to stop thinking of things in terms of success and failure. We're not saying that stepping outside and walking to the end of your street is going to bring flocks of new friends running to you. What is meant by trying new things is that it'll change your situation, even if only in the tiniest of ways. Think of it this way-- if you sit in front of your computer YET AGAIN for a few hours, there is absolutely no chance that you will meet anyone or improve your situation. If you get out of the house and DO SOMETHING, there is a chance. The least it can do is re-set your brain. By that I mean going out and doing something different will change your perspective, even if only for an hour or so. (eg. you know how if you're in a really bad mood, having a shower helps calm you down and feel better?) Going out and doing something (even if it doesn't involve other people much) will get you thinking about yourself differently--- for instance, as a person who enjoys walking in the woods, or having coffee at a cafe--- instead of someone who sits at home alone in front of the computer. After you've gotten used to doing new things, you can move onto doing new things that involve other people.
 

Johno

Well-known member
#4
Social phobia

Hi Crash

I was just wandering if you have a friend or family member to go out with. I don't care who you are, most people find it hard to out by themselves. I know I do. It also depend's on what you mean by going out. I can go shopping by myself, but would struggle to see a movie or go to a club by myself. I would find it impossible to relax at a club (unless intoxicated) without having someone to chat too. Also have you tried chat rooms with a theme that is an interest of yours.
Good luck
 

Johno

Well-known member
#5
Social phobia

Hi again

Sorry to baffle you with bullshit...
However, I just remembered something else I did which may sound weird, but I found it helpful.
Before microsoft shut down it's chat rooms I would enter as many rooms as I could. Mostly starting arguments, stirring people etc. I got called lot's of things. I was trying to increase my resilience to criticism in a relatively safe environment. After being called lots and lots of things, I was honestly less bothered by others words.
Regards
 
#6
hi

hi everyone

Im new to this place. Im a 25 yr old man. Johno, i've tried the method of being a chatterbox in chat rooms but that never helps me. i always feel that this is not real life and if i met those people face to face i'd never be able to say anything let alone have an argument. Can anyone relate to that?

Also to whoever wrote story 2 in the Personal Stories section, I felt at times while reading it that its my life story...
 

Anonymous

Well-known member
#7
Char rooms

Hi
JOhno here

Yeah I understand these chat rooms aren't real life. However the point I was trying to make is. I am very sensitive to others words or negative remarks. It is only one aspect of social phobia that could be improved in a chat room environment. I believe that putting yourself in those situations that you fear is the only way you will learn to not fear them. Sure it's sounds great in theory and is much harder to actually do.
That's life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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