salmakia
New member
Hello, I'm Claire, I'm 23 and from Edinburgh. I thought as my first post I would tell you all how I came to be here - it seems as good a place to start as any.
I was at work yesterday and me and the guy I work with were due to have our performance reviews. He went first and was gone for like an hour, and when he came back he told me that half of the time was spent talking about me. In particular the manager saying that she thought I am totally incapable of dealing with anything involving other people and that basically I am a huge joke - he TOLD me this. Then he said that I have a reputation for being silent and awkward and that half the people who work there had said to him they don't even bother with me anymore because I am such a waste of time.
I don't think he was being malicious in telling me this, I think he thought it would be a big part of my meeting and was trying to prepare me. (It wasn't mentioned. AT ALL.) But I suppose I knew all of that anyway, I'd be stupid not to guess that other people might hate being around me because I am so awkward and quiet. But thinking it MIGHT be true is so different than being told, actually yes, people do dislike you - they told me so.
So I spent the night crying and hating myself and wishing he had never told me and wishing that I knew how to be any other way. And then I looked on the internet so see if there were other people like this - like me - or whether I really was just a freak.
And then I found all of you. And now I feel much better.
(except I am quite nervous making this post because I have never done it before - anywhere)
I was at work yesterday and me and the guy I work with were due to have our performance reviews. He went first and was gone for like an hour, and when he came back he told me that half of the time was spent talking about me. In particular the manager saying that she thought I am totally incapable of dealing with anything involving other people and that basically I am a huge joke - he TOLD me this. Then he said that I have a reputation for being silent and awkward and that half the people who work there had said to him they don't even bother with me anymore because I am such a waste of time.
I don't think he was being malicious in telling me this, I think he thought it would be a big part of my meeting and was trying to prepare me. (It wasn't mentioned. AT ALL.) But I suppose I knew all of that anyway, I'd be stupid not to guess that other people might hate being around me because I am so awkward and quiet. But thinking it MIGHT be true is so different than being told, actually yes, people do dislike you - they told me so.
So I spent the night crying and hating myself and wishing he had never told me and wishing that I knew how to be any other way. And then I looked on the internet so see if there were other people like this - like me - or whether I really was just a freak.
And then I found all of you. And now I feel much better.
(except I am quite nervous making this post because I have never done it before - anywhere)