Too tired of the S.P. I'm ready to give up

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BornThisWay

Member
Wow, I relate to everything you mentioned. I can be in front of school and just turn around 'cause I'll get a mad panic attack. Don't get rid of yourself. You have a job, lucky! I literally shake at a job interview. It goes downhill from there. It drives me off the wall as well. The only time I'm alive is when I'm cooking, haha.
 
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missjesss

Banned
livingdgirl07

Sounds to me as though you might be forgetting the most important thing SELF ACCEPTANCE/SELF LOVE without it you will never move forward with your issues, so that even means accepting yourself right now with s.a, depressions, ocd whatever they may be let me tell you when I was younger in my teens I know for a fact I had BDD, and possibly OCD, they are mainly from perfectionism, once you stop trying to be perfect all the time those symptoms will lessen and lessen, I used to constantly check myself and my body over and over in every mirror I came across, I used to make strict exersize regimes in my head every dam day I got so preoccupied with myself that i forgot how to have fun and I stopped being happy, felt empty inside then thats where your acting out comes in and you do "compulsive things" like BINGE EATING, OVERSPENDING, anything to avoid the pain you are in... I used to have alot of those kinds of problems aswel and the eating disorder like u mentioned, I had bulimia at its worst...all these problems because I didn't like myself and who i was because I let peoples stupid judgements affect me and I believed them when really I should have just said **** them I don't care what you think, your not perfect either.

Procrastination is also a downfall for me too, im now 23 and I still procrastinate, but even just by being aware of it you can change it maybe not all the time but if you push yourself and don't think about it too much and just do it without delay I find that helps me alot ;)

p.s GIVE HYPNOTHERAPY A TRY
 
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missjesss

Banned
Also, I myself have had success with 15mg of Lexapro, it helps to stabilize my moods & virtually illuminates any OCD symptoms, I think you need to find the right meds for you, it took me 3 goes, I tried Effexor, Pristique then I gave an old anti depressant a go and that seemed to work a whole lot better then the new meds.

Also I did have to wait 4-6 weeks to see any results, you have to be patient with these things!!
 
A

Agon

Well-known member
Having social phobia is a long, hard struggle, and it happens to the best of us. Hanging on and never giving up takes courage, but my fellow sufferers are also the bravest people I know. So please, don't let go just yet. Acknowledge that you are feeling sh*tty and that things aren't going as well as you'd like them to, have a good sob if you want, but please know that life is just too precious to squander. Take baby steps and try to follow through with little goals throughout the day. Invest in those self-help thingies that may or may not work. Don't be too hard on yourself if things don't go exactly as planned. And remember, the people in this forum are always here to listen.
 
atavistic

atavistic

Member
I wish I could tell you this and that, but I don't know what that would accomplish. Motivation for one is linked to the chemical dopamine which is really lacking in depressed people. So that equals procrastination. So basically I'm trying to tell a perfectionist to not be hard on herself. Right.

As far as philosophically, I don't think the question is "is life good?" I think the question is always "do I want to live?" Life isn't great for a lot of people but they still want to live. I think it must be instinct.

Since you are here the answer must be yes. I've even said that too! If my life is not different by such and such age then I'll leave the world. But the day comes and it just goes by. The only importance that future dates have is what we attach to them. And as that day comes you'll realize that. Because each day is not much different than the next.

I really like the advice of missjess to try self love stuff. It pains me to think about when you and other SA sufferers turn their obsessive thoughts on themselves. Somehow I'd think if you loved yourself more it wouldn't be so harsh though. CBT has helped me in some situations but I think self love would really help at this point. For anyone with anxiety.

I've attempted ending it before. And one thing I can tell you is that I didn't have any hope then. But now I do and I can see possibilities in my life. You say you don't see the joy of living but that could and probably is only temporary. Things change. 7 years ago I'd often use words like "can't, never, hopeless, hate, stupid" and other such words in my thoughts. You can mix and match various thoughts with those words and they are horrible things to say to just about anyone.

As for this: "I try to imagine that this is true. I mean my degree is in philosophy so I try to understand it from the perspective that this is true but I can't. I don't. I am very conscious of myself and I have seen people believe whatever they want to and I just don't understand how they do it. How can I make myself believe something I don't really believe in my heart?" All I can say is fake it until you make it. And you'll hate me for saying this :p but put on a happy face!

All this is coming from someone who was diagnosed with chronic, severe depression at 12. And generalized anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder. All labels and they have their uses. But I think they can become a self fulfilling prophecy. At least though since the CBT the severe part of the diagnosis can probably be taken away. Don't lose hope!
 
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