Too shy to say hi

[lostboi]

I went to the local taco shop the other day and there was a really cute sort of goth girl there. she smiled at me and I smiled back sort of a nervous smile i guess but then i just turned around it was like I couldn't look her in the eyes. Like I assumed she was better than me or to good for me or something..and I just turned and hid out of her view. I wanted so badly to say hi. It makes me so mad at my self. But then I don't even know if I'm all that attractive maybe she wasn't even smiling at me. Maybe I was just fooling my self. How many times in my life does this have to happen before I have the will to actually say something!? I feel like such a loser. Does this happen to anyone else? *sigh*

 

[Chilling__Echo]

don't beat yourself up about it. even your average person would probably be embarrassed or bashful. if she smiled at you first, she's proabably a nice person and wouldn't judge you so harshly.

but you did smile back! that's a plus, alot of times i can't even manage that because i'm so taken off guard. she probably feels bad for not then going up and talking to you since she was the one that initiated the smile.

give yourself a break, there's others - you're still getting comfortable with yourself. be confident! look at everyone around you next time you're in public and see that you're no different from them. what makes them better than you? nothing. you're just as capable and this illness doesn' have to ruin you.

cheer up, you've learned and you'll be better for it next time (((hugs)))

 

[allanboy]

MMy godd, this kind of situation sucks. Happened to me lots, not only to girls but everyone else, i take a look at this person, i look to some kind of super person, that almost have to bow my head or start lying to kind of, at least gets him/her to look at me.
Hmm, some time since something like this happened. Looks like self steem helps you in this kind of situation.

But, it´s times like these that you gotta throw everything in the air and say at least a hi. Well, if you´ve done it right, you kinda get addicted to it, and saying hi wont be that much of a pain.

 

[young]

look at it this way. you say hi. she say's hi.. she doesn't... well you didn't really lose anything.

 

[Boundless]

Dont worry about it,so many people have that problem(including me),its annoying yes but when your ready you will be able to do that sort of thing.

 

[young]

oh and for 50 bucks an hour. I'll be your wing man and talk you up to talking to that special girl. Even tell you what to say.

 

[blight]

I think you described that type of situation exactly like everyone else experiences it. Next time you should go for it. I don't do it often myself (really at all actually) but one time I actually did literally FORCE myself into talking to this girl who was really good looking.. I had worked myself up to it for a while and knew exactly when I was going to see her and then against all my instincts PHYSICALLY FORCED myself into approaching her. It went absolutely horribly. I'm not kidding it was such as disaster I may never forget it.

The good news is she agreed to get together sometime despite what a complete pathetic idiot I was being. And then after that we hung out again, and then again..and she ended up being one of my only girlfriends to date. So I always tell remember that maybe it will be worth it even if the first impression is worse than your worst nightmare.

 

[young]

I think you described that type of situation exactly like everyone else experiences it. Next time you should go for it. I don't do it often myself (really at all actually) but one time I actually did literally FORCE myself into talking to this girl who was really good looking.. I had worked myself up to it for a while and knew exactly when I was going to see her and then against all my instincts PHYSICALLY FORCED myself into approaching her. It went absolutely horribly. I'm not kidding it was such as disaster I may never forget it.

The good news is she agreed to get together sometime despite what a complete pathetic idiot I was being. And then after that we hung out again, and then again..and she ended up being one of my only girlfriends to date. So I always tell remember that maybe it will be worth it even if the first impression is worse than your worst nightmare.

umm it couldn't of been too much of a disaster. if she agreed to get together with you another time.

 

[young]

oh and for 50 bucks an hour. I'll be your wing man and talk you up to talking to that special girl. Even tell you what to say.

:lol:, i wonder how many hours does the course last? maybe enough hours to afford that new car? lol, well. i got 1 peso and 50 centavos, which it's like $0.1 US dollar. you do any extra discount prices? 8).

well if after the first hour you don't talk to her/him. And can't afford another hour i personally drag you up there. And make you talk. I have ways to make you talk. mwahahaha... I wouldn't recommend that option. i mean.. i would never do such a thing.

and 1 peso and 50 centavos. Would get you the short short short short short short short crash course.

 

[lostboi]

Damn young. I'm so pathetically desperate to be able to talk to people $50.00 an hour seems almost reasonable. Ughh I need to get my life handled. I simply know that so many great opportunities have probably been lost due to my fear and shyness. It makes me so angry and frustrated. :x

Thanks eveyone for all of your comments and suggestions. I guess I just need to learn to bite the bullet.... Even if it goes off in my mouth..

 

[young]

really to talk to someone of the opposite sex. all you really need. is confidence. that's the hard one. confidence and charm can take you very far. But being confident with the opposite sex. Won't happen overnight. It will take some time. After you start speaking with others, and gettign comfortable with the opposite sex. You'll start to build confidence.

Smiling helps. I mean don't just go up and smile in her face. that would just be kinda creepy.

Eye contact is a must. Fear can make or break someone. You don't have to stare there either. That's kinda creepy also.

Say hi!

Ask him/her questions about things that s/he enjoys doing.

Ask him/her questions about the things you have in common. Mention that you have them in common!

When you're asking these questions, listen to what s/he has to say!

When it feels like the conversation is wrapping up, say, 'It was nice talking to you.'

Don't just walk about to someone and go, hi can I get your phone number. It rarely works. And will save your self some embarassment.

And lastly my last piece of advice. Is also very crucial. Don't be afraid of falling off the horse. You just have to get back up. And try,try,try. Persistance does pay off. Well sometimes not with the same person. But keep on trying. And you'll eventually meet the girl/guy you're looking for.

Questions, comments, and concerns. Are greatly appreciated. And as always kids ask your parents before calling.


Tips:
1.Most people enjoy it when someone of the opposite sex approaches them. Remember that and relax!

2.We don't often get an opportunity to talk about ourselves. It sure is fun when someone gives us a chance!

3.If you are self-conscious about talking with the opposite sex, remember that the person you're talking to won't be even close to as critical of you as you are of yourself.

read and memorize. even embrace number 3.

 

[lostboi]

Yeash Young,

You don't really strike me as socially phobic or shy.. where did you learn all of this? and were you or are you really that shy? You seem pretty confident is all I'm saying.

I guess girls find confidence attractive hmm. need to get some of that..*sigh*

 

[young]

The first five on that list were from me. The rest i got off of about.com

 

[young]

I used to be extremely shy when I was a kid. And all threw highschool. I used to be afraid that I was going to say something dumb. Or just look like a complete ass. Hell at times now i'm shy. Like some days i'll stand next to someone, or sit next to someone. And not say anything. And be like.. Ok leave me...

But things that were my weak points, or things that i'm not confident about. I work on. If i don't have anything to say. I surf the net. My homepage is msn. So i read the headlines. The entertainment. And sports scores. Which gives me things to talk about. Women love the gossip stuff. And men love the sports.

Yes the opposite sex likes confidence. But being shy can also be a cute thing. Cause confidence can also come off as cocky.

And don't get me wrong. I can be shy. I can talk myself out of not talking to someone. Belittle myself. My own negativity is my own worse enemy. Some days.