Too shy in bed...

Cheeky_Gurl

Cheeky_Gurl

New member
:oops: Hiya, well this is all kinda new to me, found this website and joined today because i was wondering if you could give me some advice.....

Basically.... I've been with my boyfriend a month and a half now and he's my world.....by far the best guy ive ever met and im crazy about him and whats great is he's mad about me too!!

The problem is.... I dont have any confidence or self esteem...im quite chubby not huge fat though... but i have problems getting close to my boyfriend because i worry that if he sees me naked...he'll see what i see when i look in the mirror...... a horrible ugly failure.... we've slept together but i find it really difficult to do anything other than the general sex... :oops: because im way to shy..

Is there any ways that i can get out of my shyness in the bedroom and not think so bad of myself at the time......Because i feel like if i dont do abit more in bed then i might lose him....i wanna make him happy like he does me...

Please Help :(

Cheeky xx
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
I had a bf who would make nasty comments about the way i look, even tho, i now know, theres nothing wrong with me! There is also, nothing wrong with u, u say ur abit chubby, but who cares?? ur with a fella that likes u alot (im hoping!), so really don't be hard on urself. I think girls are much harder on ourselfs than men are. This new guy i've met is lovely2me, and wouldn't say anything nasty-nor would i let him! Please know that u deserve som1 special. Going back to the sex issue and doing things u feel shy about, whos to say he does not feel the same way?? It does take som time to be used to being with som1 naked, and try new stuff, so plz don't think that u should be up to all sorts after a month. U can explore sexual issues and things u want to try as u become more comfy and confident with one another xxx :)
why do u fear u may lose him sweetheart?
 
Cheeky_Gurl

Cheeky_Gurl

New member
well i feel like if i dont make him happy in all departments then i'll lose him to someone who wont be so shy? Yeah its silly i know and i wish i didnt feel this way, wish i had more self esteem and confidence but im sure people might have the same problem as me somewhere.

Im glad u found a guy that treats you great, my boyfriend does too, buys me flowers and teddy bears and he's cuddlin me all the time we're together, Its like nothing ive ever had before.

x-x-x
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
He sounds really romantic and caring- what a lovely bloke :)
It's clear he really cares for u, i know it's really easy to say "don't worry" coz u can't help it, but u have no need to by the sounds of it! Also, plz dont ever do anything ur not comfortable with...ever! xx
 
Cheeky_Gurl

Cheeky_Gurl

New member
ohh no, not sure i could do that one.....unless i put a bag over me head and pretend he aint lookin at me ha ha.

Awww thanks, you've both been so nice, Its great when people understand, my boyfriend really doesnt understand, he says he loves me for me and thinks im gorgeous but me being so self conscious just laugh it off cos im not sure how else to cope with it. Not used to compliments and guys bein nice to me because ive always been treated like crap in the past.

Cheeky xx
 
Bexi

Bexi

Well-known member
Good one grumblina, i'm a fan of massage too, it gets me in the mood anyway! 8O
 
A

Angie_05

Well-known member
Psychological research has found that men love all different kinds of bodies, and they especially love naked ones. In fact, most men prefer a girl with curves over a boney girl in bed, or cuddling, or in those sexy jeans.

I think you can gain more confidence in bed, and everywhere else, if you realize that he loves your body. When two people are alone and intimate, a man can really let his guard down and enjoy every inch of you.

He won't complain if you become less shy in bed. He will love it. It might feel wierd at first, but it will make you feel so much better. I used to be so insecure about my naked body, but when I slept with the guy that I love, I learned to walk around naked in front of him and not feel so bad.
 
Chilling__Echo

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
and they especially love naked ones
Click to expand...

haha i love it. very true! i've finally realized that guys will take a chubby girl over an anorexic one. i'm sure youre beautiful chica and you've already got the fella, you've got nothing to worry about :) all i can say is take things slow if you need too (even if you're having sex already) and listen to what he says. if he's telling you that he thinks you're beautiful, he's not trying to be nice ;)
 
countrybumpkin

countrybumpkin

Active member
Cheeky gurl , there is agood possibility that he is also worried about pleasing you , being a man I can attest to feeling that way in the past when I had a girlfriend . And I agree with the notion that if he tells you that he thinks your gorgeous , maybe he really does. Not everyone is hung up on looks , so just give it a chance that he means what he says. Bexi is right ; one month is pretty quick so I dont think you need to worry about being slow to get to new things , as you get more and more comfortable with each other things will happen naturally . My advice is to just try and relax , enjoy being with each other .
 
black_mamba

black_mamba

Well-known member
Cheeky_Gurl said:
The problem is.... I dont have any confidence or self esteem...im quite chubby not huge fat though... but i have problems getting close to my boyfriend because i worry that if he sees me naked...he'll see what i see when i look in the mirror...... a horrible ugly failure.... we've slept together but i find it really difficult to do anything other than the general sex... :oops: because im way to shy..
Click to expand...

Meh don't worry about your appearance, esp according to the 'facts' based on wonderful research mentioned, girls who look like me are far less desirable. Heck, you might even catch a rib bone sticking out of my sides. *shock horror* Anyway being a bit chubby is nothing to be ashamed of. More body mass = more hugable flesh. ;)

Do you talk or laugh in bed together Cheeky gurl? If not try it, I'm certain it will relax you both.
 
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