Today

[coolguy2005]

Today, 3 days since having a panic attack->I didn't feel my throat and my fingers felt numb, and I felt like out of my body, I returned to school. I had the panic attack at 3 in the morning, then when I woke up it was gone, and then at school it happened again and I left.

I went to school and today went better than usual because I focused on other things. Here is what I did differently today.

Usually I worry about seeing people in class. I told myself today, "how exciting is it going to be to see many people and have a small conversation with them". I also told myself, "today i'm going to learn something new and use it in a positive way". "Today I'm going to acquire a new skill and become a better person because of it". "Today I'm going to enjoy myself".

I must say this focus on desires helped ease the pain. I didn't acquire social confidence yet, but I think i'm taking the right step. I suggest others try it.

 

[jenz]

...good advice...ive tried talking to myself to calm myself too....this one Ive always used " ur in control of ur thoughts... don't let ur thoughts control u" not as good as urs coolguy hehe :lol: ....neways ...that reminds me of a comment my sis made one day..she got irritated with the way i was acting once..and asked me " are u afraid to walk into rooms or what?" in a ticked off way..understandable.

 

[coolguy2005]

Hi Jenz,

Saying to yourself that you are in control is an excellent thing to do. But be more creative Find more positive things to say. You should also explain to your sister why you choose not to walk into the room<do you see my choice of positive words?>

To add to this...saying that you are afraid means you care about what others think of you. Stop! Why don't you think that people are thinking great and wonderful things about you? Why not stop thinking about what they are thinking and focus on what you're doing at the moment and doing it really well.

Example: walking into a room

Don't worry about people staring at you. Focus on the process of walking into a room and doing it with pride! Tell yourself "How great is it going to be to walk through that room".

Another strategy: If you WERE THAT PERSON, what would you think of you? This causes you to consider various persepctives.

 

[jenz]

Hi Jenz,

Saying to yourself that you are in control is an excellent thing to do. But be more creative Find more positive things to say. You should also explain to your sister why you choose not to walk into the room<do you see my choice of positive words?>

yeah i have told her ....she knows my situation...I guess she said that out of frustration...what she meant by that is that she wants me to stop acting timid when I walk into a room ....ive explained to her that sometimes I can't help it even though Im my mind I am trying real hard not to..

.ill try to be more creative ...how about " ur cute as hell give em' a wink" :lol: hehe no okay here's way better effort " they're only eye balls" hmmm ..this is going no where...hold on I have one...

"it a learning process... be active about it" hope that works some... ill keep improving ..im sure..

 

[coolguy2005]

Improvement is what drives us. We must strive to improve and never give up. We must take everything in our power and use it to our advantage.

I just came back from a walk and I can say I enjoyed it. Instead of worrying about people and cars passing by, I focused on enjoying the walk, enjoying the warm weather, enjoying the trees, enjoying looking at the houses, enjoying breathing, enjoying the nighttime. All those worries and fears faded into the abyss.

It is not that I suddenly stopped being afraid, it's that I chose to not be afraid. Just like it's easy for us to be afraid of a lot of things, so can it be easy for us to love and be confident about things. It is ultimately our choice.

 

[coolguy2005]

Improvement is what drives us. We must strive to improve and never give up. We must take everything in our power and use it to our advantage.

I just came back from a walk and I can say I enjoyed it. Instead of worrying about people and cars passing by, I focused on enjoying the walk, enjoying the warm weather, enjoying the trees, enjoying looking at the houses, enjoying breathing, enjoying the nighttime. All those worries and fears faded into the abyss.

It is not that I suddenly stopped being afraid, it's that I chose to not be afraid. Just like it's easy for us to be afraid of a lot of things, so can it be easy for us to love and be confident about things. It is ultimately our choice.

 

[Chilaxin17]

I like the attitude that you guys are carrying. I would just like to ask though: how can it be our choice whether to be afraid when it is an overwhelming feeling that seems to take control of your mind and body? I like the positive thinking but I don't see how you can put it so simply.

 

[marki]

i agree. telling myself im not afraid doesnt really work but telling myself its okay to be afraid and that i can do it regardless of the fear..that helps.

I agree with this telling yourself that your not affraid is like denying your fears, but i cant deny my fears cause they are there and i cant simply let them go away by telling possitive things to myself. The best way for me is like worrydoll said telling myself that its okay to be afraid, i think for recovering it is more important to face your fears and accept them, in that way you can find a way to accept and respect yourself

 

[Joszax]

I don't think having positive thoughts, such as the ones Coolguy described, is "denying fear." I think he is mearly trying to counter-balance fear with enjoyment, excitement, and curiousity. For me these feelings can sometimes be initiated by thought. If going to the movie theatre, you could say "geez! hundreds of people will be there! Some I probably know. I'll look so pathetic going alone!" or you could say "wow! that new movie with Russell Crowe and Cate Blanchett is finally out! and It's co-directed by Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino! I can't wait to see this!"

Of course, I usually forget to be so optimistic.

 

[coolguy2005]

Joz is right

That is what I meant. Thank you for clairying that for me Joz.

 

[coolguy2005]

Joz is right

That is what I meant. Thank you for clairying that for me Joz.

 

[marki]

Joz is right

That is what I meant. Thank you for clairying that for me Joz.

i just explained myself wrong .. those postive thoughts are good but i meant that it is also important to face your fears for example if someone is afraid in a public space then it doesnt helps if he tells himself that hes not affraid cause he just is, thats what i meant with denying your fears.

those positive thoughts arent denying..

sry i guess i explained myself wrong

 

[coolguy2005]

Marki,

Nick's philosphy is not to face your fears, but to forget about them and focus on your desires. Isn't it easier to concentrate on your desires than to face on your fears? I would say yes The good thing is you can do just that: focus on your desires and forget your fears. The fears themselves will disappear.

 

[Angie_05]

i agree. telling myself im not afraid doesnt really work but telling myself its okay to be afraid and that i can do it regardless of the fear..that helps.

Yes! This works for me and many psychologists agree that we should not deny our fears, but accept them and learn to not fear our fear.

 

[SPECTACULAR]

I talk to myself a lot and make promises that i'll do constructive things in the future but i just don't do it. I don't know why. After watching a movie and admiring what the star did, i decide to take after him/her. but a day after that i feel like i'm turned off!

 

[coolguy2005]

Spectacular,

Sometimes I won't force myself to do things as well. We need to work on our motivation.

Does anybody have any good tips/advice/websites on motivation?