Miloticat
Member
Hi, I'm Miloticat.
I'm an 18-year-old student living in Montreal, Quebec.
I speak English, French and some German too.
I only recently discovered my diagnosis (AvPD), prior to which I always believed I was just horribly socially inept. Since then I've been trying to make it my mission to talk to people who are going through/went through this transition.
I also suffer from depression and irrational anxiety.
I believe my symptoms originate from when I was a young child. My parents broke up before I was a year old, and at the age of 5 my father had a new child with the woman who would become my stepmom for the better half of my life. She treated me fine, but he resented me a lot.
For the next 9 years he would make my life a living hell by perpetually excluding me, insulting me, emotionally abusing me, and scaring me to the point of nervous breakdowns.
I was suicidal by the age of 7.
At this time I was pretty reserved in school. I had a few close friends I got along with but I didn't speak up much because most of my classmates were French and didn't like me. Eventually my best friends met a new group of girls who happened to have gang ties.
They didn't like me much, and for the following 6 years I was physically and emotionally abused in school, beaten by my "friends" and sometimes they threatened to kill me. Often they threatened to have me kidnapped and raped by their gang-member brothers and friends. Every night I went to sleep hoping not to wake up in the morning.
These were the darkest years of my life, but I spent them living in my fantasies. I remained completely unaware that life was passing me by.
Eventually my parents let me change classes and life slowed down a bit. I had become so bitter and frustrated over the years that nobody wanted to approach me in high school. Only in my graduating year did I decide to turn my life around and become a better person. I reconnected with my father and some of my old friends and I forgave them.
It was then that I realized I didn't know how to talk to people.
I felt extremely insecure and believed everyone hated me, feelings I'm still struggling with now. To this day I still can't remember my childhood.
I'm not sure if it's standard to introduce yourself here by talking about your situation, but I've seen a couple so I thought maybe that would be the best way.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to meeting people in similar situations, hopefully I'll come to understand this site more fully and get to know some of you as well.
Thank you, and sorry this post is so long.
I'm an 18-year-old student living in Montreal, Quebec.
I speak English, French and some German too.
I only recently discovered my diagnosis (AvPD), prior to which I always believed I was just horribly socially inept. Since then I've been trying to make it my mission to talk to people who are going through/went through this transition.
I also suffer from depression and irrational anxiety.
I believe my symptoms originate from when I was a young child. My parents broke up before I was a year old, and at the age of 5 my father had a new child with the woman who would become my stepmom for the better half of my life. She treated me fine, but he resented me a lot.
For the next 9 years he would make my life a living hell by perpetually excluding me, insulting me, emotionally abusing me, and scaring me to the point of nervous breakdowns.
I was suicidal by the age of 7.
At this time I was pretty reserved in school. I had a few close friends I got along with but I didn't speak up much because most of my classmates were French and didn't like me. Eventually my best friends met a new group of girls who happened to have gang ties.
They didn't like me much, and for the following 6 years I was physically and emotionally abused in school, beaten by my "friends" and sometimes they threatened to kill me. Often they threatened to have me kidnapped and raped by their gang-member brothers and friends. Every night I went to sleep hoping not to wake up in the morning.
These were the darkest years of my life, but I spent them living in my fantasies. I remained completely unaware that life was passing me by.
Eventually my parents let me change classes and life slowed down a bit. I had become so bitter and frustrated over the years that nobody wanted to approach me in high school. Only in my graduating year did I decide to turn my life around and become a better person. I reconnected with my father and some of my old friends and I forgave them.
It was then that I realized I didn't know how to talk to people.
I felt extremely insecure and believed everyone hated me, feelings I'm still struggling with now. To this day I still can't remember my childhood.
I'm not sure if it's standard to introduce yourself here by talking about your situation, but I've seen a couple so I thought maybe that would be the best way.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to meeting people in similar situations, hopefully I'll come to understand this site more fully and get to know some of you as well.
Thank you, and sorry this post is so long.
