Hey guys! I thought this site would contain a thread where everyone can chime in and vent about something, possibly followed by words of encouragement from others. Maybe I didn't search for one thoroughly enough, but I'll just start a new thread for my own venting. Orite here we go (though in this state I don't feel like typing anything..)
Basically I was doing really well in therapy - I'm getting CBT - and at this point I have done really well at communicating with new people, and especially making phone calls which used to be a major problem for me. Anyway, last week my therapist says that the clinic is closed over the Christmas/New Year break, so she gave me quite a number of exposure challenges to complete in that time. The one problem I have that is most important for me to solve is to get comfortable at talking to girls (btw I can't imagine how lame that sounds to any girls reading this!). So she suggested that I give online dating a try, so that I can be in a situation where, if I get a date, I can be alone to chat with a girl and practice talking to her. This is in addition to other exposure items, like plan a night of with a few friends.
So anyway, it's X-Mas (well last night it was), and I texted two friends to see if they wanted to do some boxing day shopping. Both said yes, but this morning they bail on me. Both of them had pretty legit excuses, so I figure I would go out on my own. It's normally not a problem for me and I have gone shopping on my own plenty of times before. But now I feel all lethargic and anxious about being in a busy crowd, checking things out and so on.
The whole day I was battling with the anticipatory anxiety, and binge-eating, pacing around the house like a jackass, and finally I just said "Fuk it" and gave in to the anxiety. But I still need to vent!! It's hard to get your friends to understand any of this, and I ain't gonna tell my parents about it. Meanwhile I feel like sht and I'm wondering if I'm going backwards a lil bit (which is perfectly normal) and how I can continue making progress in my social skills (this kinda bugs me because I don't know why I allowed myself to be beaten by these unhelpful thoughts today). It was extremely helpful to have a therapist to confide in every week, and it gave me courage to try new things knowing that I wouldn't be alone in my progress. But now my friends (who are great ppl, no question) are being sucky, and I'm left to battle all these exposure tasks on my own for a while. I mean, how am I meant to go from sitting around being weird all day, to planning a date with a girl I just met over the Internet because somebody thought it would be a good idea?
Blah, I'm such a whiner!
Somehow I feel better just to have written all of that, even if half the people who see this post immidiately press "Back" after seeing how much I've written! More exclamation marks!!!
Thank you. (I hope this post made sense coz I just wrote non-stop.)
Basically I was doing really well in therapy - I'm getting CBT - and at this point I have done really well at communicating with new people, and especially making phone calls which used to be a major problem for me. Anyway, last week my therapist says that the clinic is closed over the Christmas/New Year break, so she gave me quite a number of exposure challenges to complete in that time. The one problem I have that is most important for me to solve is to get comfortable at talking to girls (btw I can't imagine how lame that sounds to any girls reading this!). So she suggested that I give online dating a try, so that I can be in a situation where, if I get a date, I can be alone to chat with a girl and practice talking to her. This is in addition to other exposure items, like plan a night of with a few friends.
So anyway, it's X-Mas (well last night it was), and I texted two friends to see if they wanted to do some boxing day shopping. Both said yes, but this morning they bail on me. Both of them had pretty legit excuses, so I figure I would go out on my own. It's normally not a problem for me and I have gone shopping on my own plenty of times before. But now I feel all lethargic and anxious about being in a busy crowd, checking things out and so on.
The whole day I was battling with the anticipatory anxiety, and binge-eating, pacing around the house like a jackass, and finally I just said "Fuk it" and gave in to the anxiety. But I still need to vent!! It's hard to get your friends to understand any of this, and I ain't gonna tell my parents about it. Meanwhile I feel like sht and I'm wondering if I'm going backwards a lil bit (which is perfectly normal) and how I can continue making progress in my social skills (this kinda bugs me because I don't know why I allowed myself to be beaten by these unhelpful thoughts today). It was extremely helpful to have a therapist to confide in every week, and it gave me courage to try new things knowing that I wouldn't be alone in my progress. But now my friends (who are great ppl, no question) are being sucky, and I'm left to battle all these exposure tasks on my own for a while. I mean, how am I meant to go from sitting around being weird all day, to planning a date with a girl I just met over the Internet because somebody thought it would be a good idea?
Blah, I'm such a whiner!
Somehow I feel better just to have written all of that, even if half the people who see this post immidiately press "Back" after seeing how much I've written! More exclamation marks!!!Thank you. (I hope this post made sense coz I just wrote non-stop.)
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