Thoughts on treatment!

[UnofficiallyMe]

:question:

Hello,

Below is a list of kinda whats been going on. Basically, it boils down to this:

I went to a psych, and you will see what he prescribed below. So I went to my regular doctor and he said to go a different route. So I am giving up on the first pysch, and moving to a new one. I just want some opinions of what I should do in general treatmentwise. thanks!

History

• Anxiety started in 4th grade after move from small town to Houston
• Family withdraw during this time
• Left alone from 4th grade onwards
• Mom was extremely sick, very passive aggressive
• Dad was constantly out of town for work
• Older sister was out of home
• Labeled as ADHD in 6th grade
• Diagnosed with asthma but incidents were panic attacks, All asthma tests came back as negative
• Failed 6th grade but was not held back as long as took Ritalin
• Put in remedial classes despite having an above average IQ of 121
• Was bullied from 4th grade till 9th grade and still was seen as an outsider, who hung out with losers who treated me badly as well
• Hated medicine and stopped taking all forms as I thought it made me less of a person to have to use them
• Lived the next 12 years in relative isolation, etc.
• Married young and had two kids, which pushed me into more and more social situations
• In 2010, things got worse due to graduating college and not finding a job
• Realized needing treatment was part of illness and that I was not alone in my feelings and allowed myself to begin treating sickness

Effects on life

• Less focused on family
• Zombie like state
o No emotions
o Disconnected from reality
• Unable to complete work timely, putting me at loss of job risk
• Unproductive in home life, losing friendships
• Deteriorating health
• Increased agoraphobia
• Stuck at current position
o Unable to advance or seek new job
• Unable to express myself to strangers or those in authority

 
Anxiety Symptoms (General and Social Phobia)

• Constant fear of loss of job
• Zoning out in stressful situations that spill over into everyday life
• Unable to focus
• Loss of energy
• Weight gain but not over eating
• Trouble going to sleep, trouble staying asleep
• Always waking up tired
• Always wanting to be alone, away from others
• intense Anxiety/Nervousness in social situations
• overly self-conscious (hair is short so wont stress over it), negative body image
• go over what could go wrong and how to deal with each issue over and over
• review anything that may have possibly been abnormal or embarrassing over and over
• Thoughts are often self-defeating and inaccurate, trouble taking praise, even when warranted
• interpret neutral or ambiguous conversations with a negative outlook
• fear of experiencing a difficult or embarrassing situation from which I cannot escape
• scared of other people's glare or view towards me

Panic Attack Symptoms

• Occur several times per week
• Lasts for 5 to 15 minutes
• Gradually getting worse
• Become suddenly more introverted than normal
• Worried of when next incident will happen, and if that will happen in a place where I cannot escape
• This is what it feels like:
o Heart beats faster
o Sweat and become fidgety
o Have trouble breathing
o Get chills
o Neck becomes sore from constant tension
o Feel like the world is ending
o Worry a lot that help will not be provided in worst situations and will not able to escape

Treatment

• 2010
o Went to General Physician (unknown name) for first time for treatment of anxiety
o 1st gave 10mg Lexapro and clonazepam for 2 weeks to allow Lexapro time to settle in
o After one month and no change, upped it to 20 mg of Lexapro
o Stayed on for 3 months with limited results, negative side effects
o Doctor was not aware of social phobia or anxiety beyond limited knowledge
• Insurance changed/new job
• 2011
o new General Physician
o Put on Zoloft
o Stayed on for 4 months with limited results, negative side effects
• 2012
o Gave up on treatment and isolated myself
o Dark, negative time for 1 1/2 years
o 6 months ago changed jobs, high stress and socially forced into situations, Losing control over my life due to fears
• 3/25/2013
o Went to psychiatrist for 1st time
o Only Doctor able to get me in without long wait
o He diagnosed me as having depression and would not focus on anxiety, instead telling me that I had more racing thoughts/OCD tendencies
o Put me on Effexor 37.5 twice daily, Risperdal. 5mg at night and hydroxyzine 10mg twice daily
o Upped to Effexor 75mg twice daily, Risperdal .5mg at night and hydroxyzine 20mg twice daily on second visit
o Third visit, changed to citalopram 10 mg daily, upped Risperdal to 1mg at night, upped hydroxyzine to 30 mg twice daily
• 4/24/2013
o Visited Family doctor for check up
o Suggested stopping Risperdal and Hydroxyzine, staying on Citalopram, while gently increasing to 20mg, and prescribed 10 .5mg Alprazolam for need in only bad situations.
o Only took .25 milligrams on need to basis


I would like to at least have some benzo's for backup.. seems like such a hard road.. I know all the negatives for daily use...

anyways, any thoughts are appreciated!!!

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

It sounds like you tried a lot of medication. I think hanging out with a friend or finding one would help out. Being so isolated isn't good.
Hope things improve for you!

 

[theslowesthand]

Very well done post! Very thorough.
A good starting point is what you have done - list all your problems, and accept that you have them.

I've had my own wide-range of a motley, all-encompassing series of problems/disorders - the gamut of all possible disorders it has always seemed. So i have a good general understanding of most disorders people can have. But it still is extremely complicated to resolve things when one has many issues/disorders at the same time. It's a long, hard road to resolving them, typically. So i wouldn't really know where to start with all of the above. Maybe if you tried researching each separate issue yourself, and then narrowing-down the possible causes over time?.

But i have one basic idea that could help, and in a number of areas: Positive affirmations.
I have had one major Panic Attack, a few years ago, and while in it at some point, i started repeating a mantra over & over for the next few hours. It was simply 'positive, positive, good, good'. And those few simple, positive, life-affirming words allowed the panic attack symptoms to reduce down to manageable, or even disappear for a while (the power of mind over matter!). And they also made me feel a bit better emotionally (was also in a major depression at the time). So that's what i suggest doing while in your panic attacks (& maybe if see the signs of one).

Also, i would strongly suggest doing positive affirmations every day, as much as you can. maybe use a computer program if on the computer. Maybe play positive/uplifting music on stereo. And ideally also some form of "meditation". The added benefit is that these could help stop your racing thoughts, as you are training your mind to focus on one thing.

And it makes sense, as all depression/anxiety issues are caused by mental neuroses (neurotic/irrational thinking patterns); if you fix them, you fix the depression/anxiety (at least in part anyway). The medications can also help, but can also hinder; they can fix chemical imbalances in the brain .. but the other half of the equation is one's thoughts, as they can do stuff to the body that you wouldn't believe, they are way more powerful than most people tend to believe.

So, have a good go at that first. See if that helps.