Thoughts on Otoplasty?

DanielLewis

Well-known member
We all have physical imperfections. That's true. For some of us though, they seem too 'imperfect' or noticeable to the point where it affects our confidence. I am one of these people. My ears stick out a lot. It's not like crazy a lot, but it's definitely a lot. Every time I look in the mirror I keep wishing my ears didn't protrude so much. When I push them in towards my head, I look a lot better. I think I'd go from an 7/10 to a 9/10 in the eyes of most girls (although it's not just about what others will think. It's what I will think.)

I began to search for a way to correct this imperfection and discovered a cosmetic procedure called otoplasty which is the reshaping or reforming of the ears. It's a relatively minor procedure that can be done in 2 hours or less, and it costs around $3,000. It's a lot of money, but I'm seriously now considering doing it. In fact, if I could afford it, and if I knew the risk of any complications or screw-ups was very low, I'd do it.

I just feel it's worth it if it will allow me to like the way I look more. I'm already a decent looking guy..definitely not ugly. You might describe me as tall, dark, and handsome, but I can't get over these ears. Some of you might say it's weak or somehow pathetic to get cosmetic surgery because I'm insecure about how I look. In a way, you may be right. I could technically choose to accept and embrace how I look, but I'm finding it very difficult. And if I can make a change through surgery, is it bad? What do you think? Have any of you gotten a cosmetic surgery done? Would you? What are your thoughts on people getting cosmetic surgeries?
 
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zharl

Well-known member
I personally don't like the idea of cosmetic surgery, and I find it very difficult to put myself under the knife for anything that is less than necessary. That being said, if this minor corrective surgery will help your self worth and you can afford the expenditure, it could be worth it. Really, it just comes down to weighing the pros and the cons. I think it worth thinking about the recovery period and the risk--even if it is very small--before you make your decision. If I were to give any advice, I'd say make sure your decision is well thought out and well researched, since the corrections made with cosmetic surgery are kind of permanent.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
Man, I hate to be all "tough love" and all, but if you don't utterly need it done, don't get it done. Not only is it vain and based on insecurity, it is unnecessary. If it's so bad you can't go a month without getting teased about it, then there you go, it might be a good idea. But otherwise, deal with it.

And consider that pulling your ears back a bit is likely to make the proportions of your head/ears look "off" in some way. Rarely is there an "invisible" plastic surgery procedure. You could easily look worse, because you are changing your natural proportions. I see this very often with rhinoplasty... a nose usually looks better naturally than it does after surgical "correction."
 

DanielLewis

Well-known member
I personally don't like the idea of cosmetic surgery, and I find it very difficult to put myself under the knife for anything that is less than necessary. That being said, if this minor corrective surgery will help your self worth and you can afford the expenditure, it could be worth it. Really, it just comes down to weighing the pros and the cons. I think it worth thinking about the recovery period and the risk--even if it is very small--before you make your decision. If I were to give any advice, I'd say make sure your decision is well thought out and well researched, since the corrections made with cosmetic surgery are kind of permanent.

I'm the same way. The idea of someone cutting me open freaks me out, but since it's only my ears, and it's a minor surgery, I could go through with it. If I do, I will do my research beforehand and get the best surgeon I can find who has plenty of experience performing this operation so as to ensure its success. If it is successful, it would definitely be a boost in confidence.

Man, I hate to be all "tough love" and all, but if you don't utterly need it done, don't get it done. Not only is it vain and based on insecurity, it is unnecessary. If it's so bad you can't go a month without getting teased about it, then there you go, it might be a good idea. But otherwise, deal with it.

And consider that pulling your ears back a bit is likely to make the proportions of your head/ears look "off" in some way. Rarely is there an "invisible" plastic surgery procedure. You could easily look worse, because you are changing your natural proportions. I see this very often with rhinoplasty... a nose usually looks better naturally than it does after surgical "correction."

I know you say it's vain and based on insecurity, but I look at it the same as getting a haircut. People get a haircut to look better and change their appearance. This is the same except it's just with a body part that's more permanent and high risk to manipulate.

Also, I've definitely thought about the fact that it could easily come out looking unnatural and worse even though my ears will be back. That's why the surgery's success depends so much on the skill of the surgeon. Because, it's a fact that I could have ears closer to my head that appear completely natural. Just look at it from like a God-standpoint. Technically, you could remove my ears and put on new ones that don't protrude, and are natural looking and proportionate. I suppose what you're saying is it's not possible or very likely for any surgeon to be able to do that. I don't know, but I have looked up before and after pics of successful octoplasty operations. They look better after the surgery, and it looks natural! I've watched some success stories from people on YouTube. The recovery process is about a month and a permanent scar is left behind the ears where they make the incision (thought it's supposed to be hardly noticeable since it's behind the ears).

What makes people physically ugly? I mean, it's a fact that some people are physically ugly and some are physically beautiful. Some features on people are ugly and some are beautiful. Sticking out ears are considered to be ugly (I know not everyone thinks that, but most do). For example, sticking out ears on any girl for me is ugly. It's just an ugly feature. So are you saying it's better to keep the naturally ugly feature because the result will look unnatural which will be more ugly?

For me, it just comes down to the chance of success. If the surgeon can assure me that the surgery has like a 99% chance of being a success (and by success, meaning the result is better than how I looked before), then I'll do it. If the risk is too high of failure, then I won't do it. I guess what's most encouraging me to do it is seeing the success stories. I'm like "wow, surgeons out there really can achieve a successful and natural look."
 
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Bronson99

Well-known member
99% of the time, no one gives a crap. I think you're incredibly foolish for seriously considering it. I mean, if you truly, literally need it--as in, there's no chance a girl would date you if you don't have this done--then by all means, go ahead with it.

But I'm telling you right now: you don't need this.

Much of the time when someone mentions they have a physical flaw, I can point out there are LOADS of people out there with that "flaw" that look great nonetheless.

Men with ears that stick out? Will Smith, Channing Tatum, any number of others. These guys still look really good.

How about women with ears that stick out? Kristen Stewart, Krysten Ritter.. there are others, but can't think of them for the time being. I would not consider them to have "ugly" features because with these women, it all works proportionally well relative to their face and their hair.

One last thought.. here you were months ago saying how you were full of optimism, you're making progress.. but now you're all defeated, claiming you need plastic surgery, thinking irrationally. I really would like to see the "original" DanielLewis back, because that guy was going places.
 

zharl

Well-known member
Hmm...I'm not going to comment on what Bronson said beyond this: you're not the DanielLewis expert. That would be DanielLewis.

Since this was around 5 months ago, the procedure may or may not have already happened, so I hope I'm not discussing something that is a moot point. Nevertheless, while I don't think the anger that Bronson is conveying is appropriate, I do understand it. I don't like plastic surgery either. In general, I find it a risky practice in vanity. That being said, I understand the importance of self-perception, and recognize that minor cosmetic surgery has improved the lives of some people I know, as the their flaws--whether they were actually there or perceived--don't stand out to them as much. In short, it's been my experience that minor cosmetic surgery can improve quality of life, even if I am personally adverse to the idea.

As I said before, any change of permanence warrants deliberate thought. I don't think that getting minor cosmetic surgery is a necessarily defeatist practice, as Bronson has implied. As long as it doesn't turn into an addiction--plastic surgery addiction is a scary thing--you're probably fine.

In the end, this is your decision. Hopefully you come or have already come to a result that you're happy with.
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
It's as if you purposely overlooked the valid points I made (as well as common sense), and subtly encouraged his quest, at the same time. Well done.

In one of these posts he essentially said "I look good now, but if I could just get these ears adjusted, well then I'll look like a male model!" If you support that kind of thinking, I guess that's on you.
 
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zharl

Well-known member
It's as if you purposely overlooked the valid points I made (as well as common sense), and subtly encouraged his quest, at the same time. Well done.

In one of these posts he essentially said "I look good now, but if I could just get these ears adjusted, well then I'll look like a male model!" If you support that kind of thinking, I guess that's on you.

If you would like me to address your post in detail, I can do that:

I interpreted what you said as entirely subjective. As I understood it, flaws are not flaws if you personally do not see them as such and don't think they are important. You then listed celebrities that you find attractive despite their flaws. All of this is rather subjective, as it is wholly dependent on seeing the world through your eyes, which is inherently impossible for anyone to do, except for you.

After that, you attacked the poster, and insinuated that he was somehow having a moral failing by bringing the issue up in the first place. As far as I can tell, you have some other stake in the issue and can't separate yourself from it. Apparently I missed the part where you calmly and rationally laid out the reasons why the poster should not go through with the surgery.

Please enlighten me and link me to this missing post.

As for what I've directly quoted, you've fallen into a similar pattern:

Getting angry, and then attacking the poster because I apparently support your straw-man version of whatever argument you perceive this to be.

I am not insinuating that the poster should make a decision either way. If you recall, my posts have been centered around being careful with whatever his decision is, and weighing his options carefully. In fact, I've repeatedly voiced that I personally don't like the idea of cosmetic surgery, and would never go through with it myself, or recommend it.

I'm not sure why you perceive this as a challenge or somehow combative to you.

P.S. I'm also aware that the post questioning the validity of my ADHD occurred chronologically after this one. I can't help but wonder if that was meant to be an attack or retaliation for what was said here. I would certainly hope that this isn't the case.
 
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I had a large mole removed 20 years ago (on my leg), but i should have gotten it done several years earlier as the damage was done by then (i had bdd concerning it). I much prefer the big ugly zig-zag scar! lol
 

Bronson99

Well-known member
I will admit to having a bias and/or personal stake in the issue here. I guess you would call this "projection." You see, a long time ago I used to have thoughts like the OP did here--I had a LOT of insecurity about the shape of certain facial features--but, after a while, I came to understand that my thinking was misguided and that (as I implied above) people can look good--even great--despite perceived "flaws."

I couldn't tell you if that former opinion of myself was more of a mild BDD, or more just low self-esteem, but I was able to conquer it by my late teens and I never looked back. And despite being "dateless" and having little of any experience with women, I don't think that has much to do with looks (I've been told many times I'm attractive, in fact).. but rather social anxiety and poor social skills. As in, I've known guys far less attractive than myself who are 10x more experienced--the difference is social fluency.

Now and then, though, I still have insecurity about my looks and that just brings back memories of how I used to think.
 
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Bronson99

Well-known member
I had a large mole removed 20 years ago (on my leg), but i should have gotten it done several years earlier as the damage was done by then (i had bdd concerning it). I much prefer the big ugly zig-zag scar! lol

I would think dermatological affliction is a somewhat different category, not saying this to be annoying, but rather to avoid confusion. Yes, some things probably should be fixed.

I would think facial features that are disproportionate in the extreme and cause great distress, it's also acceptable. But with this I'm just talking about the more obvious cases, where there's little question of it.
 
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