joshueg
Well-known member
Well, i think the time has come for me to tell what happened to me once, when i was just 7 years old.
I remember it was Christmas time. All my family was together.
I was in one of my mothers ' brothers' room, he was inside too.
By the time, i liked very much those planes on scale, model planes , and this "uncle" had a great collection of them.
I remember his words, he told me: If you do as i tell you, i promise to give you the toy that you choose.
I was just 7 years old, i didn' t think what i would give in exchange
Then i just remember he raped me, but the worst of all was that he managed to do it softly , so i didn' t feel any pain at all. After finishing, he gave me the plane i wanted and said to me that what we had just done was to be our secret, and i should never reveal it to anyone.
I did so.
Years passed by and i remember going to school and having always problems , i could not understand other children laughing at me, kidding me, even hitting me, and i could not understand why?, why was i so different, why boys played with other boys, girls with other girls and me always in the middle
Always alone, and whenever i decided to join someone, he (usually men) started laughing at me or he just rejected my friendship or hitted me.
Well, of course i have had friends too, i cannot say my life has been a whole hell, but i have suffered a lot after that experience. I don' t understand why that day i didn' t reveal my secret to anyone.
As i was growing older i thought it was my fault, i felt guilty and ashamed about my life, about what i had done (i didn' t do anything, but i always thought i was the perverted one) I suppose that behaviour of mine contributed to my phobia and anxiety
The worst thing is that the person who raped me, has been very lucky in his life, he married a woman who won the lottery, and he now lives in America, has a good house, a good job and even a yacht.
Life is unfair.
Thanks God he is not living here.
I thought i had forgiven him but i haven't.
That' s it
I remember it was Christmas time. All my family was together.
I was in one of my mothers ' brothers' room, he was inside too.
By the time, i liked very much those planes on scale, model planes , and this "uncle" had a great collection of them.
I remember his words, he told me: If you do as i tell you, i promise to give you the toy that you choose.
I was just 7 years old, i didn' t think what i would give in exchange
Then i just remember he raped me, but the worst of all was that he managed to do it softly , so i didn' t feel any pain at all. After finishing, he gave me the plane i wanted and said to me that what we had just done was to be our secret, and i should never reveal it to anyone.
I did so.
Years passed by and i remember going to school and having always problems , i could not understand other children laughing at me, kidding me, even hitting me, and i could not understand why?, why was i so different, why boys played with other boys, girls with other girls and me always in the middle
Always alone, and whenever i decided to join someone, he (usually men) started laughing at me or he just rejected my friendship or hitted me.
Well, of course i have had friends too, i cannot say my life has been a whole hell, but i have suffered a lot after that experience. I don' t understand why that day i didn' t reveal my secret to anyone.
As i was growing older i thought it was my fault, i felt guilty and ashamed about my life, about what i had done (i didn' t do anything, but i always thought i was the perverted one)
I suppose that behaviour of mine contributed to my phobia and anxiety The worst thing is that the person who raped me, has been very lucky in his life, he married a woman who won the lottery, and he now lives in America, has a good house, a good job and even a yacht.
Life is unfair.
Thanks God he is not living here.
I thought i had forgiven him but i haven't.
That' s it
