thinking of going to a surrogate

HH

Well-known member
Yep, its come to this. I've had enough of being a single virgin loser and I think the only way I'm going to make ANY progress with a woman is through a surrogate.

I'm going to have to combat this issue with a professional who understands my situation. I think it basically comes down to the fact that I'm shy, have low self-esteem, poor body image, and with every passing year it just gets more difficult.

Its a big step to make but if I don't do something I'll be in my mid thirties and still in same situation.

Its about taking small steps, I can't just rush into a relationship in the frame of mind I'm in-it wouldn't work out. It would be like getting in a car and driving but not having had any lessons.

I feel upset and angry at myself that it's come to this but its the only way I can see of getting out of this deep humiliating and very embarrasing situation that I find myself in. Please wish me luck, thank you.
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
Have you ever dated or had women interested in you in the past..woman you like as well??

Or is your SA what keeps you from pursuing a woman you like???

Is that why you think a surrogate is better than a girlfriend, to not have to deal with the "relationship" part of it all..just get sex?

Just need some back ground info before i can answer :)
 

HH

Well-known member
TooShyShy said:
Have you ever dated or had women interested in you in the past..woman you like as well??

Or is your SA what keeps you from pursuing a woman you like???

Is that why you think a surrogate is better than a girlfriend, to not have to deal with the "relationship" part of it all..just get sex?

Just need some back ground info before i can answer :)

No I've never dated. The only time I remember a women showing interest in me was way back in secondary school but I was way to shy to do anything about it and at the time I had feelings for another girl. That was over 10 years ago.

Since then I've only really liked two other girls. One was when I was at the end of completing my degree so I didn't pursue it as we were going to different places after graduating. She never knew I liked her.

The other girl I met about 4 years ago (we clicked straight away) and I still like her to this day although my feelings for her have "calmed down" over that time. We don't see much of each other though which is a shame (both in different areas etc). Since I've known this girl she's had a few boyfriends. I've wanted to tell her that I like her but I guess SA/shyness gets the better of me.

The reason I'm thinking of going to a surrogate for is not for the sex (apparently sex with a surrogate doesn't happen that often) its so I can better understand how to be around a female, how to kiss, how to show affection. A surrogate isn't better than a girlfriend-I would like a girlfriend but because I've had zero luck getting one I need to play catch-up basically so then I have a good basis to start from-if that makes sense.
 

Weirdo

Well-known member
I don't understand. What is this surrogate thingie? A prostitute or something like that?
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
I get what you are saying. And if a surrogate can help you with your confidence and exeperience and ''teach you" then i would at your age i would say it may be a solution. Nothing wrong with seeking help from a professssional. How would you go about it - a doctor recommended surrogate? I imagine they would have ways of contacting people in this field.

And no a surrogate is not a prostitute. They are professionals in there field..its someone who helps individuals or couples with intimacy issues.
 

HH

Well-known member
I don't think I could go to my doctor about this (he knows my family really well-and I would probably die of embarrassment). There's a place that's not to far from me that deals in this sort of thing, so I'll get in contact with them.

The only down side is that's its going to cost a lot-thousands probably, I really didn't think my love life would turn out to be this sad. :cry:
 

TooShyShy

Well-known member
WOW!!! I didn't know it was that much money. At least there is a place for you to go.


I am just curious, hope you don't mind...

Is it shyness to approach a girl (you do OR don't know) initially making the move or is it ok to approach and talk until you get to know them AND THEN REALLY WANT TO BE WITH THEM is that when the nervousness sets in??? Maybe not being able to get to the the "relationship" part of things...fear of the unknown or of physical closeness wit another??? I am just wondering....

I have heard for most men, its possibly a deep anxiety when you REALLY LIKE the girl - thats what a lot of men on here have said ITS ONLY WHEN THEY WANT THE GIRL THAT THE PROBLEMS START!!!

Now if its a girl they are NOT attracted to its easier to talk and socialize.

What is it exactly do you think that makes you not able to be intimate with a woman?
 
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