There is no point in trying dont do it to yourself

[blue]

I have come a long way with my social phobia trying things not saying no to things broadening my boundries.
My little boy had a school trip yesterday a parent had to accompany each child, my partner had the day off to go , however i thought no i`ll go it will do me good :roll:
I found it really hard coping with the groups and the waiting around, Then all the parents had to meet in a cafe for coffee and well i was shaking so mutch i couldnt drink my coffee
As the day went on i felt people were picking up on this and the sniggering started.
By the end of the day i had worried so mutch that when i looked in the mirror i didnt even recognise myself, I looked like some manicly depressed mental patient
The only thing that stopped my fleeing all day was my gorgeouse little boy and his beautiful smile.
I had to take my boy to school today and was greeted by parents just stood staring at me with huge grins on their faces. by this afternoon when i picked him up for lunch they were all huddled together and when i walked up they all turned and looked at me laughing
Now i feel so nervous when i have to go to school
Im not sure if can handle this every time i see them i want to cry.
So no matter what they say if your in dought dont do it.

 

[miss_amy]

Aww honey, I really feel your pain on this. Sounds like my worst nightmare too. I think you are brave to have gone in the first place..I know I wouldn't have.

Pressure of these things I find immense. I'm also a parent. Theres so many pressures to socialise, people approaching asking if your child wants to come for tea. then of course u get the pressure back to return the invite. Asked to help on school trips or go in to hear them read..these I just cannot do! I force myself a bit, say school plays, because I don't want my kids to suffer but I suffer so much doing these things and it never seems to get any easier. I'm sure my children may have voiced a few of my problems to their friend's parents so now I feel more of a freak facing them.

Take care..if you ever feel like chatting mum to mum, give me a shout.

 

[worrywort]

they sound really mean.....If I were there I would've talked to you!
are you sure when they were smiling and sniggering and laughing that they were laughing at you? How do you know this for sure? I often find that it's just my paranoia......but even if they were laughing at you, they are most definitely the ones in the wrong! You've done nothing wrong....it's really rude to laugh at others.

I think the best response you could make would be to go and drop off your boy each day with your head held high, knowing that you're not doing anything wrong...whether they're laughing at you or not....infact you could use them as exposure therapy....each time you face these scary situations you'll be growing a little stronger....that would be my advice anyway!

 

[PlaceboEffect]

I will be a bit harsh here and ask you: What did you expect?

Change does not happen through night but after hundreds and hundreds of experiences just like this one.

I can see how your attitude is hurting your growth as a social being.

You have put yourself out there and tried to socialize, you felt pain and now you said to yourself "I won't do that ever again!".

How sad perspective on it.

Why not noticing what did you accomplish!

Why not seeing that you've went among people even in spite of being afraid?

Why not being happy and proud at yourself for being brave enough to stay there even after people started noticing that you are afraid?

Why not saying "I did it once and I will do it again and again for I am determined to change!"

 

[milo001]

aww..i felt sorry for you.hope you're feeling better now. you shouldn't go or at least you can go with your partner together.that'll make it better.i agree if something we can't do we shouldn't try it.it's not like try to go out and be brave it'll make us good instead something bad might happen.like when i'm in college i try to talk to almost every person in my class they ended up ignoring me and i quit the college after 2 months.don't do something that is already in our limit.

 

[milo001]

I will be a bit harsh here and ask you: What did you expect?

Change does not happen through night but after hundreds and hundreds of experiences just like this one.

I can see how your attitude is hurting your growth as a social being.

You have put yourself out there and tried to socialize, you felt pain and now you said to yourself "I won't do that ever again!".

How sad perspective on it.

Why not noticing what did you accomplish!

Why not seeing that you've went among people even in spite of being afraid?

Why not being happy and proud at yourself for being brave enough to stay there even after people started noticing that you are afraid?

Why not saying "I did it once and I will do it again and again for I am determined to change!"

you know it'll be very hard again for her to do it again.it's very hard to endure it when peoples keep laughing at you at your back everyday.i know how hard she feel now.if me,i don't know if i'll ever go back to the school again.she was brave enough to go to the school the next day.

 

[dpr]

I have come a long way with my social phobia trying things not saying no to things broadening my boundries.
My little boy had a school trip yesterday a parent had to accompany each child, my partner had the day off to go , however i thought no i`ll go it will do me good :roll:
I found it really hard coping with the groups and the waiting around, Then all the parents had to meet in a cafe for coffee and well i was shaking so mutch i couldnt drink my coffee
As the day went on i felt people were picking up on this and the sniggering started.
By the end of the day i had worried so mutch that when i looked in the mirror i didnt even recognise myself, I looked like some manicly depressed mental patient
The only thing that stopped my fleeing all day was my gorgeouse little boy and his beautiful smile.
I had to take my boy to school today and was greeted by parents just stood staring at me with huge grins on their faces. by this afternoon when i picked him up for lunch they were all huddled together and when i walked up they all turned and looked at me laughing
Now i feel so nervous when i have to go to school
Im not sure if can handle this every time i see them i want to cry.
So no matter what they say if your in dought dont do it.

I am sorry that it was not the best or most comfortable social experience for you.

But ya know what?

You WENT!

And that is important. It shows you are improving and that you are challenging yourself. For that reason alone, I would classify that social outing as a successful one.