The way i feel

[recluse]

I feel as though i want to cry all the time especially in the morning before going to work(although i put on an act to my workmates), i feel despair and my heart feels heavy, i feel i have nothing to look forward to in life. The worst feeling of all is feeling inadequete. I feel that no girl would ever like to be in my company because i have nothing to say, i have no funny o'r interesting stories to tell, and after all girls want a guy who can make them laugh don't they? Why would anyone want to be with the negative wreck i am? I can't see any reason why anyone (guys included) would want to be in my company.

 

[Sacrament]

You are always complaining, I've noticed. Why don't you make a list of all the things you think are wrong in your life? List everything, then add a 'check' to everything you CAN change, then prioritize and go from there. You say you have nothing to talk about. Well, culture yourself. Watch movies, pay attention to current events, diversify your taste in music. Those will probably give you something to talk about to co-workers or females.

 

[shinji_ikari]

Was this posted just before you started work?

My suggestion is to find a new career. Maybe something in the creative industry.

You need a job where you can stand out in as an individual (since you can't do that via your social life).

 

[Chod77]

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[Sacrament]

I cant believe what the Sacrament person said. I thought this was a support forum.

What did I say that is so wrong? You can't sugarcoat everything, you know. You can't be like "aw, you were too nervous to go to work today, that's okay, you better quit your job because, I mean, you do have SA". Some tough love is what is needed sometimes. What was so terrible about my advice?

 

[recluse]

First of all Sacrament i was venting, and let me tell you i am the last person you will see complain in the real world. I think people see me as a laid back person at work because they never hear me complain about anything, but of course it's because i keep everything inside and it's all an act. All right where else am i going to vent all my worries? This message board is the only means of me getting my feelings out. Thanks all the same for your advice.

 

[recluse]

Was this posted just before you started work?

My suggestion is to find a new career. Maybe something in the creative industry.

You need a job where you can stand out in as an individual (since you can't do that via your social life).

It's not that easy around here.

 

[Sacrament]

First of all Sacrament i was venting, and let me tell you i am the last person you will see complain in the real world. I think people see me as a laid back person at work because they never hear me complain about anything, but of course it's because i keep everything inside and it's all an act. All right where else am i going to vent all my worries? This message board is the only means of me getting my feelings out. Thanks all the same for your advice.

I understand that, but I wasn't trying to offend you or anything. If you want to be able to talk to female co-workers, I think my advice will help you.

 

[Depressed4life]

..

I know how you feel but come on!!! You are very handsome, you will find a girl, trust me i know that for sure. I also used to put an act when i used to work but the minute i walked out, i felt like shi.t and back to my normal self. I will recommend you not to think so much of getting a girl and when you least expect it, you will find one. Take care.

 

[Sacrament]

That's true. I have a friend who is a real romantic and waited his whole life for true love (21 years), but it would never come. He's now in a relationship and feels happy, fulfilled. Good things do come to those who wait.

 

[JustAnotherDay]

If you not confident in yourself, dont plan on making progress!! Your attitude is the biggest problem!! If ur this depressed, get meds, n dont give up after one bad experience.. You have to take risks in life to see improvment with whatever it relates to. This website is prbly the worste thing for you cuz peple make u think its alright to feel like that.. Its not and yes u have control over youremotions.. Losers give up and except where they're at.. Im not saying ur a loser at all cuz ur deff no, u just have sp and its hard to deal with, but tons of people get control over it. You dont have to live a misserable life..

 

[noblame4]

Hey, man. You've been to a therepist, havent you? Did they say any thing to you about dysthemia? Maybe you should look into that. I dont know anything about you in real life, but from your posts, it seems like you've been really down for a *really* long time. I get depressed from my SA a lot, but there's ....breaks occasionally.

Some people get depression from SA, and some people get SA from depression. If you get rid of one, it's a hell of a lot easier to get rid of the other.

 

[Social_Moth]

I feel as though i want to cry all the time especially in the morning before going to work(although i put on an act to my workmates), i feel despair and my heart feels heavy, i feel i have nothing to look forward to in life. The worst feeling of all is feeling inadequete. I feel that no girl would ever like to be in my company because i have nothing to say, i have no funny o'r interesting stories to tell, and after all girls want a guy who can make them laugh don't they? Why would anyone want to be with the negative wreck i am? I can't see any reason why anyone (guys included) would want to be in my company.

You can always change. Here's the way I see it: so far, you're on the right path because you haven't lowered your standards by changing for anybody else yet. I've seen people lower themselves to gain acceptance from the opposite sex and it's not pretty. I mean, it works, but the blow to their own self esteem isn't worth all that. In fact, most people would be better off alone. The only thing is, they don't generate enough self-love power to realize that. So their entire lives are just a big downward spiral built on severe low self-esteem, and based on the fact that you haven't come close you lowering yourself that far as of yet, I think you have more potential than you even know.

This is all a matter of personal opinion, but I strongly believe that your own love is the most powerful of all. You're longing for acceptance and approval from an external source, but what if you can find that on the inside? I'm not saying this should replace any hope for finding love, but rather give yourself the love you deserve, weather or not somebody else wants to give it to you. And when you're on your side... there's absolutely no failure. Or toil, for that matter. Why try? Let it flooooow to your heart....

Shit, that was long. Don't read all of that at once, you'll get eyestrain

 

[silverwolf]

I feel as though i want to cry all the time especially in the morning before going to work(although i put on an act to my workmates), i feel despair and my heart feels heavy, i feel i have nothing to look forward to in life. The worst feeling of all is feeling inadequete. I feel that no girl would ever like to be in my company because i have nothing to say, i have no funny o'r interesting stories to tell, and after all girls want a guy who can make them laugh don't they? Why would anyone want to be with the negative wreck i am? I can't see any reason why anyone (guys included) would want to be in my company.

Hey man I feel real bad for you I felt the same for many years. You are not alone. As much as u think no1 else is goin through wat u are; they are.

Ok here is my take. You have very low self-esteem and this repels other people. I don't know you but I'm guessing that you- not knowing why you are repelling people blame it on your looks, voice, height, personality, lack of humour and a million other unrelated things.

You are everything you want to be, but because of your feelings of inadequacy and shyness you can't express your true personality. The more one is able to express their true personality the more attractive they are to other people.

So you need to work on developing your self-esteem and confidence. Yes it can be developed you don't have to be born with it. As for women the way to attract them is confidence. Let me just quote an attractive woman I was recently talking to 'Women love confidence. They are attracted to it like moths to a flame. I might be really attracted to a guy at first but within 10 seconds I will know if I really like him'. Don't worry about looks. They help but you can definitely get women without, just look around it happens all the time but because of your world view you are always screening it out and making excuses why you couldn't.

p.s. u r not a bad lookin guy, I just know in our fucked up society men can get bent up over appearance. We're turning in2 women these days.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

The Way I feel

Hi I notice you asked why would any one want to socialize with you. You cant worry about that because you don know what others are looking for.
There are plenty of people who like your qualities and plenty who do not.

If you change your self too much you will lose the people who like you for who you are. What I mean is your co workers are not changeing their personalities to please you so why should you change for people that probaly wont be in your life a few months from now?

Also sacrament might be a bit clumsey with his blunt style of "tell it like it is approach" but they made some very good points. When I find my self talking excessively with co workers its because they are talking about a sporting even like football. When the topic switch to sex I am quiet cause I have nothing to add to the conversation. Topic then goes to low pay of our job I can talk for like an hour.

So what Sacrement was trying to say was talk about European sports or your job pay or if you want a realy heated conversation talk politics.

 

[mustang]

If you not confident in yourself, dont plan on making progress!! Your attitude is the biggest problem!! If ur this depressed, get meds, n dont give up after one bad experience.. You have to take risks in life to see improvment with whatever it relates to. This website is prbly the worste thing for you cuz peple make u think its alright to feel like that.. Its not and yes u have control over youremotions.. Losers give up and except where they're at.. Im not saying ur a loser at all cuz ur deff no, u just have sp and its hard to deal with, but tons of people get control over it. You dont have to live a misserable life..

Excellent points! I agree.

 

[SocialButterSlip]

I feel as though i want to cry all the time especially in the morning before going to work(although i put on an act to my workmates), i feel despair and my heart feels heavy, i feel i have nothing to look forward to in life. The worst feeling of all is feeling inadequete. I feel that no girl would ever like to be in my company because i have nothing to say, i have no funny o'r interesting stories to tell, and after all girls want a guy who can make them laugh don't they? Why would anyone want to be with the negative wreck i am? I can't see any reason why anyone (guys included) would want to be in my company.

Well, I'm with you buddy. I can make people laugh, and be funny. But as of yet no girl i don't think being funny and making a girl laugh is everything. Plus if the girl likes you she'll laugh at anything you say. About the stories I bet you got a lot, but the state of mind your in right now makes em hard to recall. Oh by the way don't change yourself thats the #1 rule just be you don't try to hard just be you.

"p.s. u r not a bad lookin guy, I just know in our fucked up society men can get bent up over appearance. We're turning in2 women these days."

I told him the same thing, he looks like Adam Sandler but better looking.

It's the confidence man.