TheMachine
New member
Hey everyone. That's awesome to see that there's an online community dedicated to social anxiety. I've lurked around for a while, but I think I might have something to say, so I signed up. Wow! It's been an adventure so far. I'm only 22, but a lot can happen to transform your life in a short period of time. Sometimes the transformation is gradual and other times it can seem almost instantaneous. But from that point where I decided I actually wanted to do something about it - no matter what the cost - it's seemed more of a leap than just a slight incline so far!
I wanted to make a post about this because I wanted to spark some sort of hope in you. Hope that maybe this whole thing isn't a disease, and maybe it can be cured. And even if you're the pessimistic type-that's fine too! Just try to open your mind up to this positivity I want so badly to share with you. I've been in the gutter-flooded with OCD, depression, anxiety... you name it. Now, most of you would think I've had aterriblechildhood to blame these things on - maybe an abusive parent or something of that sort - but honestly, I never had the experience of ever being able to blame somebody outside of myself. I guess I'm also proof that your past doesn't determine your entire whole life's experience either-just to give people on both sides something to think about.
So, past and present aside-I want to talk about YOU. Because that's where the anxiety really exists. Anxiety isn't 'real' if you actually think about it-it's just a feeling our minds create. And it CAN be alleviated. As many people as there are out there who are willing to bet anxiety is caused by an over-abundance of msg or caffeine, a chemical imbalance, or something else pertaining to the diet... I strongly beg to differ. I've tried diet changes out the wazoo - but nothing ever seemed to work. Sure I'd feel a perfect level of relaxation (as opposed to maybe having a few cups of coffee/soft drinks in your system), but as soon as the interaction began, I'd STILL get the shakes! And nausea, and everything else attached to social anxiety. So I guess this is for the people that are beyond all that, and need some sort of help and advice from the inside out - not the outside in!
So let's focus on the self. After reading everything above, you can safely assume that I strongly believe social anxiety to be an inner-problem created by the self. This might sound extremely negative, or like it's all your fault-but it's not. It simply means you've got the power to change it! A little acceptance doesn't hurt so bad, if you know it's for the better. So I'm going to write out a few steps below with a short explanation to them. All you need is a good, healthy dose of willpower, and a (hopefully) optimistic attitude... both of which can be achieved, weather or not you have them already.
Okay, so here goes:
1. Love yourself (and be yourself!)
Step one to maintaining your social anxiety - Love yourself. It's harder than it seems, but don't worry just yet. When you come to realize the truth about this condition, you'll find out that social anxiety usually has a lot to do with how other people see you. Most of you already know that (duh!), but here's your way around that - love yourself to the point that nobody else's point of view matters. You don't have to go overboard, but find that strength inside to love yourself. If you're asking yourself right now, "Well, why should I love myself anyway?" consider asking yourself a far more important question "Why should I keep on NOT liking myself?". If you're you, you have all the control over how you feel about yourself - so why not make a slight shift in how you see yourself if you know that it can help you big time in the end? Trust me, it's worth it-and so are you.
2. Find your inner optimist.
Being positive can be tough. But you'll never really be motivated if you just complain all day about your problem (and trust me, I've learned this the hard way!). Sure admitting a problem means you might feel a bit negative about it, but you can also do something about it. And sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of a lot of things. No problem is created by one factor alone! So if you're feeling real unhappy, try to find out why. And try to change as much of it as you can. If you do everything in your power to find some true optimism, you sure will. That's a guarantee. The only thing is, are you up to the challenge?
3. Push the boundaries!
Okay, don't get the wrong idea here. I don't want you to go out and break the law or anything. But I do want you to at least try something for me, for you - face at least one fear a day. Now, the point isn't to pick the easiest fears just so you get off the hook for a day - you have to do something that honestly scares you. Social anxiety isn't really what you think it is. Believe it or not, very few of us are actually afraid of people-we just have a habitual thinking pattern in relation to social situations. The only way to true freedom is to break the pattern - face your deepest, darkest social fears and face them often. Is it going to be hard? My honest answer is yes. However, like I said- it takes willpower. And anybody who really wants to do it will do it. Those that won't definitely won't! If you recognize some of this is a choice, you'll make it a lot easier on yourself. This can be fun, spontaneous and full of passion if you want it to be. Or, it can be an endless pit of unwanted loneliness for the rest of your life... but it's all up to you. Please, for your sake, chose the former!!
For now, those are my only three steps. They seem to be the cornerstones of something BIG. A change that could very well transform your life. And in all honesty, I just typed all of this out in one sitting. I just got this creative urge to get a few words out there because I had the feeling somebody here needed to see this. Why I had this feeling is beyond me, but I acted on it and hopefully you can benefit. Please feel free to respond, as I'd like to join this awesome community and stay a while. I'd also like to say that I know it was long, but really give it a chance. If you have a better formula, feel free to post that as well because I'm very open to your suggestion. For some reason, I feel as though like-minded people coming together in order to share their experience can only benefit and help each other. Let's keep that alive, wha do you say?
Rock on, guys. \m/ \m/
I wanted to make a post about this because I wanted to spark some sort of hope in you. Hope that maybe this whole thing isn't a disease, and maybe it can be cured. And even if you're the pessimistic type-that's fine too! Just try to open your mind up to this positivity I want so badly to share with you. I've been in the gutter-flooded with OCD, depression, anxiety... you name it. Now, most of you would think I've had aterriblechildhood to blame these things on - maybe an abusive parent or something of that sort - but honestly, I never had the experience of ever being able to blame somebody outside of myself. I guess I'm also proof that your past doesn't determine your entire whole life's experience either-just to give people on both sides something to think about.
So, past and present aside-I want to talk about YOU. Because that's where the anxiety really exists. Anxiety isn't 'real' if you actually think about it-it's just a feeling our minds create. And it CAN be alleviated. As many people as there are out there who are willing to bet anxiety is caused by an over-abundance of msg or caffeine, a chemical imbalance, or something else pertaining to the diet... I strongly beg to differ. I've tried diet changes out the wazoo - but nothing ever seemed to work. Sure I'd feel a perfect level of relaxation (as opposed to maybe having a few cups of coffee/soft drinks in your system), but as soon as the interaction began, I'd STILL get the shakes! And nausea, and everything else attached to social anxiety. So I guess this is for the people that are beyond all that, and need some sort of help and advice from the inside out - not the outside in!
So let's focus on the self. After reading everything above, you can safely assume that I strongly believe social anxiety to be an inner-problem created by the self. This might sound extremely negative, or like it's all your fault-but it's not. It simply means you've got the power to change it! A little acceptance doesn't hurt so bad, if you know it's for the better. So I'm going to write out a few steps below with a short explanation to them. All you need is a good, healthy dose of willpower, and a (hopefully) optimistic attitude... both of which can be achieved, weather or not you have them already.
Okay, so here goes:
1. Love yourself (and be yourself!)
Step one to maintaining your social anxiety - Love yourself. It's harder than it seems, but don't worry just yet. When you come to realize the truth about this condition, you'll find out that social anxiety usually has a lot to do with how other people see you. Most of you already know that (duh!), but here's your way around that - love yourself to the point that nobody else's point of view matters. You don't have to go overboard, but find that strength inside to love yourself. If you're asking yourself right now, "Well, why should I love myself anyway?" consider asking yourself a far more important question "Why should I keep on NOT liking myself?". If you're you, you have all the control over how you feel about yourself - so why not make a slight shift in how you see yourself if you know that it can help you big time in the end? Trust me, it's worth it-and so are you.
2. Find your inner optimist.
Being positive can be tough. But you'll never really be motivated if you just complain all day about your problem (and trust me, I've learned this the hard way!). Sure admitting a problem means you might feel a bit negative about it, but you can also do something about it. And sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of a lot of things. No problem is created by one factor alone! So if you're feeling real unhappy, try to find out why. And try to change as much of it as you can. If you do everything in your power to find some true optimism, you sure will. That's a guarantee. The only thing is, are you up to the challenge?
3. Push the boundaries!
Okay, don't get the wrong idea here. I don't want you to go out and break the law or anything. But I do want you to at least try something for me, for you - face at least one fear a day. Now, the point isn't to pick the easiest fears just so you get off the hook for a day - you have to do something that honestly scares you. Social anxiety isn't really what you think it is. Believe it or not, very few of us are actually afraid of people-we just have a habitual thinking pattern in relation to social situations. The only way to true freedom is to break the pattern - face your deepest, darkest social fears and face them often. Is it going to be hard? My honest answer is yes. However, like I said- it takes willpower. And anybody who really wants to do it will do it. Those that won't definitely won't! If you recognize some of this is a choice, you'll make it a lot easier on yourself. This can be fun, spontaneous and full of passion if you want it to be. Or, it can be an endless pit of unwanted loneliness for the rest of your life... but it's all up to you. Please, for your sake, chose the former!!
For now, those are my only three steps. They seem to be the cornerstones of something BIG. A change that could very well transform your life. And in all honesty, I just typed all of this out in one sitting. I just got this creative urge to get a few words out there because I had the feeling somebody here needed to see this. Why I had this feeling is beyond me, but I acted on it and hopefully you can benefit. Please feel free to respond, as I'd like to join this awesome community and stay a while. I'd also like to say that I know it was long, but really give it a chance. If you have a better formula, feel free to post that as well because I'm very open to your suggestion. For some reason, I feel as though like-minded people coming together in order to share their experience can only benefit and help each other. Let's keep that alive, wha do you say?
Rock on, guys. \m/ \m/