ghost_train
Well-known member
hi hi. I know this is my first post, but I have read a lot of the existing posts on this forum.
I think it would be fair to state as being accepted, three general rules:
1. The cause of shyness is an underlying insecurity about some aspect of our character- be it physical or mental.
2. Shyness is a problem because of the social impedance it places upon us, particularily with regard to finding/keeping a mate.
3. The treatment strategy must be a self-motivated, "so what?" mentality- that is to say- releasing ourselves from the feeling that we must justify/prove ourselves to others.
For me (with regard to above):
1. I am insecure about my ability to convey the 'real me' in a social interaction with the opposite sex.
2. I therefore fear appearing dull and uninteresting: and it is this fear that incapacitates me and, ironically, realises my fears.
3. For so long there has been speculation about 'coming out of my shell' and 'becoming outgoing'. People always told me that going to university would totally change me as a person. Since I am still single and showing no signs of rectifying this situation, I don't feel that it has.
So what troubles me is this: is there another me, trying to get out from inside the shell, or has my shyness become an essential part of who I am? I don't seem to be able to say 'so what' no matter how hard I try- either that, or my brain says it, but my body doesn't follow. How the hell do you override your autonomic nervous system? Am I secretly in love with my lonliness? Am I just too chickenshit to try and change myself? Why the hell do women never do the approaching? Why do I always lead on the girls that I don't find attractive and completely ignore the ones I do?
p.s. sorry about the total breakdown of any kind of logical structure at the end there, but y'know AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
p.s.
I think it would be fair to state as being accepted, three general rules:
1. The cause of shyness is an underlying insecurity about some aspect of our character- be it physical or mental.
2. Shyness is a problem because of the social impedance it places upon us, particularily with regard to finding/keeping a mate.
3. The treatment strategy must be a self-motivated, "so what?" mentality- that is to say- releasing ourselves from the feeling that we must justify/prove ourselves to others.
For me (with regard to above):
1. I am insecure about my ability to convey the 'real me' in a social interaction with the opposite sex.
2. I therefore fear appearing dull and uninteresting: and it is this fear that incapacitates me and, ironically, realises my fears.
3. For so long there has been speculation about 'coming out of my shell' and 'becoming outgoing'. People always told me that going to university would totally change me as a person. Since I am still single and showing no signs of rectifying this situation, I don't feel that it has.
So what troubles me is this: is there another me, trying to get out from inside the shell, or has my shyness become an essential part of who I am? I don't seem to be able to say 'so what' no matter how hard I try- either that, or my brain says it, but my body doesn't follow. How the hell do you override your autonomic nervous system? Am I secretly in love with my lonliness? Am I just too chickenshit to try and change myself? Why the hell do women never do the approaching? Why do I always lead on the girls that I don't find attractive and completely ignore the ones I do?
p.s. sorry about the total breakdown of any kind of logical structure at the end there, but y'know AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
p.s.