The "Push and Pull" with Shy Guys...

HH

HH

Well-known member
"Hi HH and thanks for your reply. Years huh? Wow. :( I can't fathom how you can hold it in for so long! I mean, I know you fear rejection, but wouldn't a few weeks of heartache be better than years of it? And that's only IF she doesn't feel the same way. But imagine if she did??"

Yep...years, I don't know how I've held it in for so long either. I think because we live far apart and I only see her a few times a year that when we do meet up by the time I feel relaxed and comfortable around her it's time for us to part again and then its sort of back to square one. The shyness doesn't help of course, and the crippling fear of rejection ::(:

maybe I just need to sink a few beers then tell her :)
 
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XxJustMexX

Active member
HH said:
maybe I just need to sink a few beers then tell her :)
Click to expand...

I know I'm just a stranger on the internet, but I say go for it! :) You'll never know unless you try, and even if it doesn't go well (which I'm sure it will!) then at least you'll know, and can move on... :)
 
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XxJustMexX

Active member
I wanted to check in and update you guys with some good news...

Ever since I went online this week with all my worries and have been receiving good advice, I've been trying to make a conscious effort to open my guy up using a lot of advice that I've received online... Well it is definitely paying off. He has definitely been more open and a lot more comfortable with me the last few days. No more pushing and pulling has been going on for days now, and it's starting to look like a real comfortable relationship now! :)

Advice in this thread and my other thread stated I should "lead" him into things that I want and pretty much use positive reinforcement and/or feedback, and since doing that in the last week, he has definitely improved in giving me what I want from him in addition to all that he already does for me! It's amazing how big of a change has been made since my post JUST last week of him never touching me or showing affection! Now, he has NO problem pulling me close to him (he even pulls me in to cuddle with me on the couch! BIG step from last week!), he doesn't seem like he wants to run away every time I kiss him good morning/night, and he even initiates our kisses now! :) He seems genuinely happier than he did when he was all nervous around me. I think I finally have given him enough assurance that he's confident enough in himself!

To add, I'd mentioned in my other post about how we were in that awkward relationship stage where we're not sure what we are to each other.. Well last night, some guy he was talking to had come to me to reiterate what they'd been talking about, and he said "oh I was just telling your... boyfriend... husband...?" And my guy finished off his sentence with "I'm her boyfriend..." !!! I was stoked! lol. Just one month ago he always looked like he wanted to run away from me, and now he's comfortable enough to do all this... Thanks to everyone who gave me advice, and also the courage and assurance to do all I've done to try to make him more comfortable with me. :)
 
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