The Pretender

[Lost_Nomad]

we're not real. thats what i feel most of the time, we're just pretending to be like every one else, but one day they will find out and then you get rejected. trying to pretend that your not afraid, not depressed, its very hard. you see thats what makes us so different from every one else, some of us can be very good at it and fool every one, but its such a hard act that you only harm yourself . if you could only be yourself, would you be a happy go lucky person or would you stop the smile and just keep to yourself. its some what of a self delusion, a denial just so that we can fit in and be excepted. and thats are problem we really want to be excepted by others to feel normal, but we never can except ourselves. so we keep trying to pretend that every thing is fine, delude ourselves among a delusional sociaty. you know everything isn't OK, and that if you could you would walk away from it all , but you cant and so you feel stuck and helpless , with only some form of drunkeness to keep that reality from you, alcohol, drugs, tv, music, games, and what not. If all that were to suddenly stop and you were to awake and reflect ,would you like what you see around you? would you say thats its all fine? thats our real problem we dont want to have to face ourselves, we realy believe at the end of the day that we are nothing, just a pretender of something.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

geez nomad, your words...

trying to pretend that your not afraid, not depressed

these haunt me i swear...

you couldn't have put it any better...

but i try not to put it that way, i mean, what do we fake? being open, outgoing, confident? maybe we possess some of all of that inside us in order to put it out. and in doing so, isn't the whole point of us doing it so that we meet people? so that we don't feel so lonely inside? there's nothing wrong with that.

every single person on this earth is lonely. there are so many more than we realize. it's not us against the world. we were dealt a bad hand and we've got to make the best of it. it's learning to find a way to get through that damned depression and times of isloation.

 

[DazedNConfused]

Sometimes I pretend to br confident, outgoing, all that other stuff, in hopes that someday it won't be pretend, but genuine. Its not the current lonliness that bothers me, its the prospect of infinite lonliness that does, that things will never change, and I will never be loved or accepted. Sometimes, I don't even have the power to pretend, and I come off to people as a fearful guy (which is a sin if you're a guy, because your supposed to be strong)

Im sure everyone is lonely at one time or another in their lives, but our problem is that we not only feel lonely, but worthless as well. I'm getting better in that regard, but boy, I have my moments where I crash HARD.

Hopefully with some physical and mental hard work (working out, and working to rid myself of feelings of worthlessness and anxiety/depression)

 

[maggie]

hey Lost_Nomad...what you say is right......i pretend all the time....pretend.."i can do this"...."i feel ok"..."it's not a big deal"....pretend to feel like certain situations don't scare the shit out of me, when they really do....but, if i don't pretend....i won't force myself to get out there and do stuff i have to do....it feels really shitty sometimes, i know.... :roll:

 

[Fredscars]

but its such a hard act that you only harm yourself . if you could only be yourself, would you be a happy go lucky person

Totally. Mind you, i go 'happy-go-lucky' at parties when ive had a bit to drink. It usually ends in misery.

You pretend that, no it doesnt matter, you don't mind, what they said or did din't hurt you, you don't care that they don't feel the same, or they have someone else in mind...
you just pretend to others because if they really saw how much you hurt theyd be disgusted, appalled by how much you want to cry and scream and just make everyhting go away. How you want to lock yourself in a room so that no-body could ever hurt you any more.

I'm pretty good at pretneding tbh, i go out, i do things, i act confident most of the time..and generally, no body knows and it eats me up inside: putting on a smile and telling one thing when inwardly im crying and thinknig the opposite

 

[arachnid]

Thanks for the great article. Very heart felt.