The Lunch Table

[gardnerj]

Did anyone else loathe this? I can remember this uncomfortable feeling every single day. I hated lunch. I would just sit and watch all the cool kids and their big family of people, lined up like sardines.

There's something with me. Small talk is like pulling teeth. Even if there isn't something with me, its hard to accept being the only one who really just wants to sit alone without being looked at. And yes, they really are looking at me. It's strange. No one does it.

I have to deal with a lunch table tomorrow. Not only do I not know anyone, I don't have the new kid excuse anymore. Its been 3 years. Now I have to hope I see someone I know.

 

[limetree]

Yes I remember how intimidating the lunch table used to be, I felt as though everyone was thinking "why are you here if you don't know how to make small talk?" They even made an effort to engage me but I didn't know how to respond without a ****ing computer in front of me. 0.o

Eventually I sat with another group that was more relaxed, although their topics of conversation were more boring, and I don't like to impose my interests onto others. I think that somehow cheapens them for some reason unless I meet someone who really gets it. Towards the end of the term I was predominantly a loner by choice, sleeping on library desks and walking off to the bathroom a million times just to seem distracted...

I hate how silence and solitude is perceived as awkward or rejection, but then again most of my assessments were based on paranoia rather than fact. People may stare at you but they look at everyone. No one called me a loser or anything, but I just got the feeling they didn't understand, and something was stopping them from trying to- whether they just couldn't be bothered/didn't care or they thought I didn't want anything to do with them.

 

[Harleyq]

The problem with lunch table drama is that the stigma carries on past high school. Most people without SA still have problems eating lunch alone, let alone people WITH SA, even though by the time you've graduated, nobody really cares about who eats with who anymore.

I recently started conquering another fear and have gone to the cafeteria at my university to eat by myself. I don't know if you're in college yet, gardner, but I've discovered that nobody cares anymore. Everybody pays attention to their own food or the people they show up with, and they don't give a second glance to people who are eating alone. And if you aren't in college yet, I hope this paragraph makes you feel a little better about when you do graduate high school.

 

[Why]

eatin by myself is a HUGE fear for me, last year in college when i had no1 to eat with, i usually bought snacks and ate on the go... very unhealthy. When i eat alone in a public area, i get the feeling that every1 notices and thinks im a loner :/ and makes me 2 nervous. Even if i travel to some random area and eat in a foodcourt where there is no chance anyone will recognize me, i still get nervous and self-conscoius

 

[PennyLane]

Loads of people sit alone at my uni and they sit all over the place. There are no 'lunch tables' as such. There are at least 20/30 different coffee shops, cafes, restaurants and food courts on my campus so everything is really spread out. Its a huge place.

No one cares in uni. In fact maybe thats the problem. I dont know the name of anyone at my uni probably because it isn't essential.

 

[typewriterx]

Small talk never works for me. I noticed that that kinda thing works great for people who like to share a lot of personal information about themselves, their family, their day, etc. &I just don't feel comfortable doing that, so the small talk never goes very far, &is awkward to say the least. I always tried to busy myself, have a book, some homework, whatever, so I didn't look out of place, or whatnot, just that I was really busy, &THAT'S why I was sitting alone, not because making conversation scares the hell out of me.

 

[gardnerj]

well i'm in college, going to a big day for other educators. Everyone knows everyone. it's a tightly knit class.

 

[reslo]

if you've ever eaten lunch in a bathroom stall, then you know the feeling~