The difficulties of friend-making.

[kazk123]

Hey guys, I'm new here. Just thought I'd get some stuff of my chest about the struggles I face that y'all can probaly relate to, in my life as a result of the bs we call 'anxiety'. I feel like I need to be playing my part aswell and not just scrolling through everyone elses input.

First of all I have no true friends. I go to a church youth group and Ive been trying to establish some friendships but here are the dilemmas: I see them there, I shake hands, say hey, How are you, good how are you, I'm good, what you been up to etc then awkward silence from then on. They might say something funny and I'll go haha and that's it. Then it'll be me creepily hanging around them as they laugh and talk to their buds about stuff I just couldn't care less about and therefore i dont contribute to the conversation. when I do feel like contributing, my heart will start pounding and all the anxiety kicks in, holding me back from speaking. Another thing is I just don't care for silly mucking around which these guys will often do.(maybe just not when in social situations)Again its me just observing creepily with an occasional fake smile. Anyway I never feel like I gain any ground when attempting to make friends and socialize coz I just can't relate. Anyone feel what I'm saying? I'm sure its fairly common among us folk. But I'm never gone give up fighting this and growing as a person!

 

[AtTheGates]

you have to find a subject to talk about before you go into social situations like that...alot of people just amble around and small talk but if you have something interesting to say then you can really OWN the conversation, as long as you talk loud enough so people can hear you....just read up on some stuff...current events, music, movies, art, videogames.

 

[IntheLabyrinth]

Hey guys, I'm new here. Just thought I'd get some stuff of my chest about the struggles I face that y'all can probaly relate to, in my life as a result of the bs we call 'anxiety'. I feel like I need to be playing my part aswell and not just scrolling through everyone elses input.

First of all I have no true friends. I go to a church youth group and Ive been trying to establish some friendships but here are the dilemmas: I see them there, I shake hands, say hey, How are you, good how are you, I'm good, what you been up to etc then awkward silence from then on. They might say something funny and I'll go haha and that's it. Then it'll be me creepily hanging around them as they laugh and talk to their buds about stuff I just couldn't care less about and therefore i dont contribute to the conversation. when I do feel like contributing, my heart will start pounding and all the anxiety kicks in, holding me back from speaking. Another thing is I just don't care for silly mucking around which these guys will often do.(maybe just not when in social situations)Again its me just observing creepily with an occasional fake smile. Anyway I never feel like I gain any ground when attempting to make friends and socialize coz I just can't relate. Anyone feel what I'm saying? I'm sure its fairly common among us folk. But I'm never gone give up fighting this and growing as a person!

Maybe you can try to converse with a small portion of the group or just one other person at a time if that's easier. Also, you can let them know that you're not that comfortable at first with talking to new people but you'll open up more every week. Once it's out there that you are not that comfortable, it won't feel like something you're trying to hide, which will make it that much easier to be yourself. I know when I just tell people, I feel so much more at ease. I am assuming that most will not judge that you're feeling anxious. They'll likely want to make you feel more included in the group. Christians are supposed to be caring and accepting.

 

[Raider]

What I got out of this kazk123 is that you are trying. That's important. I have to keep that in mind because many times I don't even do that.