Talking to family about SP (My vent)

[nighthawk]

My parents and siblings know that I have SA. But their understanding goes little further than their readings of the textbook symptoms and characteristics of the condition-or whatever you want to call it. I've always been a very closed, and private person. I have fun with my family; we joke, talk about present day issues,etc., but I always seem to close down-even when I don't want to- when it comes to talking about my emotions. Sometimes they prod, try to break through my defenses but, sadly, after so much of my subbornness, I think we've all kind of gotten use to it and accepted it as 'the way things are'. This gets me really down sometimes. This limbo. Deep down, I have a lot of blame-though useless- but at the same time a lot of love- though hidden- for my family. And lately I've started regretting each day that I don't tell them how I feel about them and about how SA effects are unique to ME. Right now, I feel as if I can't afford not to tell them but I'm still fighting to break through this wall I've created. 'sigh' I've got hope, though.

Sorry if I sound too dramatic, but there's a lot of pent-up drama inside me lol :S
Thanks for listening.

PEACE

 

[nighthawk]

Also, I would be interested to hear what your relationship with their family or friends is like. Or what changes you would like to see in them?

PEACE

 

[maggie]

Also, I would be interested to hear what your relationship with their family or friends is like. Or what changes you would like to see in them?

PEACE

hiya nighthawk.....good for you to have talked about your anxiety with your family....i have not....but i'm sure they all know i have problems, but not the full extent...and they have never asked :? ....i wish i had the courage to talk to them....but, at the same time, i am afraid if i tell them, and perhaps a friend or two at work...my weird quirks and "uncomforableness" will be even more noticed and watched...and..in turn...make it worse for me.....if that makes any sense :roll:

 

[AnthonyJ31]

Also, I would be interested to hear what your relationship with their family or friends is like. Or what changes you would like to see in them?

PEACE

Hey nighthawk,

I personally harbor ALOT of anger and resentment towards my parents. As I have gotten older - I'm now 31 - I have realized that the way that I was raised was not condusive to establishing a healthy level of self-esteem. I was always really shy and introverted, and my parents basically took a hands-off approach to me and basically let me do what I wanted and let me go my own way. That was the last thing that I needed, and I suffered for many, many years with isolation, loneliness, depression, e.t.c. I know for a fact my mother doesn't understand Social Anxiety Disorder or its many ramifications. On the few occassions where I tried to explain things to her, she acted as if it was no big deal; she acted as if I had a paper cut that was no big deal. It's very demoralizing and demeaning when someone that is supposed to love you and really udnerstand you reacts in such a "Oh well" kind of a way when you approach them with a big problem. I have ALOT Of anger towards them and I honestly don't think I will ever be close to them. In fact, I have no desire to be close to them. They don't understand how this condition can chip away at a person, how this condition can limit and ruin a persons life, and how bad the depression and hopelessness can get.

Sorr for rambling on.....

Anthony

 

[Radley]

but i'm sure they all know i have problems, but not the full extent...and they have never asked :? ....i wish i had the courage to talk to them....but, at the same time, i am afraid if i tell them, and perhaps a friend or two at work...my weird quirks and "uncomforableness" will be even more noticed and watched...and..in turn...make it worse for me.....if that makes any sense :roll:

I agree Maggie. I'm also afraid that highlighting the problem with my friends or family might make them more aware or observant of how I'm behaving which wouldn't be helpful to me I've never told any friends or family of my SA although they must know somethings not right. I sometimes wonder what conclusions they've come to about my reclusive behaviour...

 

[maggie]

but i'm sure they all know i have problems, but not the full extent...and they have never asked :? ....i wish i had the courage to talk to them....but, at the same time, i am afraid if i tell them, and perhaps a friend or two at work...my weird quirks and "uncomforableness" will be even more noticed and watched...and..in turn...make it worse for me.....if that makes any sense :roll:

I agree Maggie. I'm also afraid that highlighting the problem with my friends or family might make them more aware or observant of how I'm behaving which wouldn't be helpful to me I've never told any friends or family of my SA although they must know somethings not right. I sometimes wonder what conclusions they've came to about my reclusive behaviour...

hiya Radley.....i know what you mean....i also wonder what my family...and co-workers must be thinking or assuming about my behaviour....since we haven't spoken about it :roll: