take the journy with me (read on).....

[nicola_maire]

ok, now were all here for one reason, we dont wanna be ashy anymore, we've had enough? so what do we do, we do what we can to overcome it. now here's the plan.
1. list the things you dont like about your degree of shyness (lookin at floor vs running away)
2. list the things you want to change
3. list some 'small steps' that you can try to complete ie mine are:

make eye contact with strangers
tkae your mind of yourself, focus on a mission (like finding a job)
remind one's self of the good things everyday
say atleastr one statement to the man at the shop ie nice weather today.
it sounds gay, but its like being a kid again, relearning new skill, as you master one, you can raise the stakes.

so far today:
today while walking to the shoppping centre, i made a big mental effort to look strangers in the eye, my god i resisted, but i forced myself. my conclution for today is: one person smiled back and made the eye contact first, one women walked with her head down, didnt look up once, a couple looked away, i looked away a few time, and others were mutral. to sum it up? i felt quite good actualy i was really nervous, but now ive done it once i feel better for it. ill see how i go on.

we should write a mental blog each and just support eachother, rather than moaning about it, lets all fight it together. all make the lists, and do an expierence, and write it down. we can all learn from eachother and ourselfs.
good idea?

 

[Tim001]

I'm kind of doing the same thing right now. It takes a lot of effort to break away from the momentum that your old habits have. Like you said, it's like learning all over again as a child. I firmly believe this is the way to beat this thing though, and I applaude your efforts. The blog thing would be a great way to read about everyone's progress. Great post, thanks

 

[Danfalc]

Yeah cool idea 8)

It's hard to pick a place to start try and improving but ill try.
Okay im a git for looking at the floor aswell so thats the area im gonna focus on changing, I did actualy try today up town,but it was really busy and i could only manage to keep my head up briefly before giving in and returning my eyes to the ground :?

Im gonna stick at it through and try it in smaller steps when i go to the shop n stuff like that,the sight of my trainers is starting to get old :wink:

 

[nicola_maire]

any preogress is good progress.
ive really done my self proud last night. i met up with the girls who ditched me during my depression (cannabis enduced) and we had a spliff. yeh i know bad move, n i felt my self goin really quite, but i snapped myself outa it, and i was in trhe spotlight for the hole night, for the first time in ages i was in control like yeh, who good now! lol so really proud, n really mastered the eye contact thing now!

 

[Danfalc]

Nice one Nic!

Hey it sounds like your really starting to get a hold on your anxiety so im pleased for you.Specialy if you managed to toke on some reefer aswell and not lose the plot. 8)

keep us posted and hope you manage to keep it up

 

[nicola_maire]

lol sayin that i think its caught up with me, startin to get the 'im wierd' 'no one likes me' thoughts, but im managing to chalenge them, i think its the after paranioa kicking in!.
otha wise gang still keeping in there, got 18 days till my nest oppointment, so till them im just tyring as hard as i can!

 

[PhantomPod]

I actually just started my "journey" today. I recently got a book about shyness and was looking on the internet a lot the past few days, and I just put it to the test today.

I talked a lot more with my co-workers today, I talked to one of the parents (I worked with little kids) and made good eye contact, and I went out to dinner with my mom and made good eye contact and talked a lot with the waitress.

I am feeling sooo good about myself now. I've been feeling good a day. It's such a great feeling. To stop worrying what other people are thinking of you is such a relief.

So I'm also keeping a written journal of all of my accomplishments for myself. I'm really proud of myself. I did real well today. And I hope to do even better tomorrow.

 

[Dill]

Have you guys noticed that when you try to conquer SA, like for instance, I try to say good morning to people I know, I get so excited and chuffed with myself for something dat im sure other people take for granted.

Oh, And i must say, In my progress, I manage to ask a girl for her number ( Im cool 8) )

Only problem though, I dont have the guts to call her

 

[PhantomPod]

^^ Yeah, I've noticed that. I get all excited with myself and feel all happy inside. lol 8)

 

[nicola_maire]

lol were like kids on a school trip!!! :lol:
conversation is still good, gettin anxious round best mate tho...dont know y ive got a alota anger for her att he mo, im sure it'll pass, were tight.
got an interview tomoro!!!!

 

[Danfalc]

Job interview Nic? 8O
hey im sure you will do well mate honestly let us know how it went if you would, Had to go into the job centre myself today, for my a interview about job seekers allowance.Well...... i fell to bits

But i think with it being so damm stressfull i was able to put other situations into comparrison and was able to deal with them better by saying to myself this isnt as stressfull as what i just did.Anyways managed to stay up town (keeping my head firmly up... yey!!!).And oh my god, i ran into an old mate and actualy managed to have a good afternoon with a few people!This really is the first time ive actualy managed to deal with well.... anything.

Anyways sooorry for the long post just kinda chuffed with myself

 

[nicola_maire]

hey well done, it feels well good wehn u make eye contact with people, you know it dont matter if when your better at doing it you still ahve your moments, it normal to feel nervous, otherwise it wouldnt be an emotion, its just regognising the difference betwwn nervous and scared. i think its just gettin to where u personaly r comfortable with, dont worry about those proper ougoing people, as long as your confortable, dont compare yourself, some one up there wanted you to experience this part of life, so use it wisly.

 

[michel18]

stop looking at the floor.

stop feeling ashame of my situation and do something about it.

steps, get a job then a car.

thats a good start