Stupidly fell in love.

[anomicdeer]

I had finally gotten myself together emotionally and mentally (a bit). I had finally gotten a job too. I wanted to try to have a social life and that lead to crushes and a relationship. I was too stupid to really think about anything else but to believe the lies and thought I would be with someone who would understand and love me like he said. I thought I'd be able to enjoy the touches like when it happened for the first time. I thought I would love the attention but everything when down hill from there.

I left something I thought I would never have to deal with again (home situations) but I just gave myself the front row of it all. Now my mind is worse than anyone can imagine. I don't know what to do with my life and I will probably always feel that way. I love my son and he is the only thing I really care about now because I can't get one little feeling for anyone else.

I don't want to leave my current relationship because I don't want to be even more stress by being single. I live right near a track where I can exercise and let things out. I live in a nice area. I can move in with my move and get more help with my son but then I would have to deal with stressful things I did when I lived with her. It would be worse living alone while my son is still too young to take care of himself.

Everyone else is crushing on someone new or loving their job or college. I am just behind on life and make too many mistakes.

 

[jaim38]

I can sort of relate. I made the stupid mistake of moving away from home after high school, hoping to escape from home situations. But it didn't get any better for me; in fact I became more depressed, even suicidal. The breaking point came last year when I finally got tired of all the harassments from people around me. I just couldn't take it anymore so I moved back home. Then, I came to a profound realization: things at home aren't so bad, compared to all the sh** that I had to face when I moved out of my parents' home.

Are you forcing yourself to be in a relationship because you don't want to be single? When I was living in another city, I was afraid of living alone so I moved in with a family member. The relationship was abusive right from the start. It took me 2 years to finally say I had enough and move back home.

 

[JackOfSpades]

Your post is quite vague, but you're not obligated to say anymore than you'd like to. If it is abusive to you, or puts your sons mental or physical health in jeopardy, than you probably should leave. It sounds like the only reason you're with this person is for the lifestyle he provides, not the way he treats you. And if that's the case, you can be dammed sure he knows that, and that he can do whatever he wants.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I was in a bad long term relationship and it was even worse than being single. She made me feel horrible and I felt more alone with her in the apartment than I did by myself.
........Why did I torture myself all of those years with her??!

If the relationship is really bad, kick him to the curb and move on.