Stop

[dottie]

Ugh. At work today my manager teased me and said that every day I come into work he likes to give me a hard time just to watch me turn red. He wouldn't stop and then got other coworkers to look at me. So yeah, I turned beat red. He told me that my new nickname was going to be "Red." Asshole. I know it seems like cute, harmless fun but it is still annoying as hell. Humiliating almost? Har har everyone look at dottie, the socially retarded! Leave me alone. I don't go there to socialize, I go there to work and get shit done. :roll: Why do you think I was in a bad mood for the rest of the night? I seriously can't stand the guy.

 

[sidney]

why dnt u try explaining to him how bad it makes u feel keep a serious almost glaring face and say if he doesnt stop u'll pick on him for a while to see how he likes it but only use that as a last resort! tell him how angry u are maybe he'll stop...oh and ur NOT a social retard ur just better at other things cus lets face it nobody is good at everything

 

[dottie]

why dnt u try explaining to him how bad it makes u feel keep a serious almost glaring face and say if he doesnt stop u'll pick on him for a while to see how he likes it but only use that as a last resort! tell him how angry u are maybe he'll stop...oh and ur NOT a social retard ur just better at other things cus lets face it nobody is good at everything

Thanks. Sometimes it is hard to remember that no one is good at everything. My work is such a social environment so I never feel like I do good work. I'm always questioning myself. I'm getting better at what I do, but not socially. Socially it's like nails on a chalkboard. My coworkers always comment that I look tired or ask if something is wrong. To be honest, I just really don't want to be there and the environment has me on edge the entire time... and it shows. Sorry I digress but I had to vent.

I need a massage.

 

[MelissaQu]

You do need a massage! Go for one, it will ease things up a bit. Your manager sounds like an asshole, I'm sorry he pointed that out to you. Point it out is almost equivalent to death for me. Or at least close to it.

Is your manager someone that is nice to your normally, was this a joking around type of thing or is he cocky and all?

 

[dottie]

You do need a massage! Go for one, it will ease things up a bit. Your manager sounds like an asshole, I'm sorry he pointed that out to you. Point it out is almost equivalent to death for me. Or at least close to it.

right, it's like what are you supposed to say back? i just feel like crawling under a rock.

Is your manager someone that is nice to your normally, was this a joking around type of thing or is he cocky and all?

He's cocky/bossy... sometimes I feel like he is only "nice" at times because he realizes he is a jerk. He tries to make up for the assholishness by counter-balancing it out but I don't buy it. I hope that made sense.

 

[MelissaQu]

There shouldn't be a thing where if someone is cocky they can balance it out with some other behavior. There's simply no excuse. "Mean people suck." We've seen that bumper sticker before. People who think they're "the shit" will get what comes around eventually. He'll get his, don't worry.

As far as repeatedly getting flustered and blushing: I would recommend a different approach in trying to heal it. Tell yourself to blush, believe it or not, it will happen less. Plus, they've all seen you blush before, so there's little left to hide.

I read this in a book a while ago, and I hadn't tried it until recently, it works. I'm still struggling, but it works. Good luck!

 

[oszapo]

Hi dottie first i would say that i think you very strong!If someone had done this to me i would cry for days or as MelissaQu says that would be the death to me too.
If i go red in front of someone just once i do it next time again and then it will be forever.
That you go red doesn mean you shouldn say anything back.Even if you embarrassed and are beet red just tell him "your jokes are not funny anymore and anyway can you tell me why are you permanently lookin at me?You should be used to it now m always red so please stop starin at me cos it starts to freak me out."This way you put the blame on him.
What a dickhead anyway he must know how unfomfortabe it is to go red.
Dont know about you but each time i go red i feel like im not attractice,freak,scary not normal ,a joke its bad anyway without these kind of people tell him to p*** off! XX

 

[Primrose]

That's a form of bullying at work - what an idiot. Doesn't your boss know that people get taken to court over stuff like that?

I used to blush easily a lot as well. I actually went out and bought 'green cream' to try and ease it, but the more I worried about it the worse it got.
As I've gotten older it's eased, I find breathing techniques really help; especially yoga and meditation.

When I'm in a stressful situation I allow myself to take a step back and breathe through it. It takes time, but it does work.

All the best with everything, keep your head up!