Still at my 'family' home and imprisoned

[bowel_of_chiley]

I feel as if I'm the only one in this situation. I had to leave uni in November 2004 due to a breakdown and I've been living at my mum's ever since. It's got to the point that I can't progress as an 'adult' unless I get off the benefit, back into paid work and ultimately out of my mum's house, for her sake and mine.

I've got three friends in my hometown and I try to spend as much time as I can with them, but if I'm on my own for too long, I become vulnerable. I rarely look strangers in the eye and sometimes when I do I feel intimidated. In some ways, I feel younger than any person I'm communicating with. I feel like a teenager. Will this change when I finally move or is this how I've been made up?

I need to move on in confidence and I need to face people more, particularly strangers, because I tend to avoid most people at all costs and consequently can't move forward in terms of working and social life.

 

[Gone]

I was also stuck in my parents homes but moving out was the best thing i ever did, it could work out great for you.

 

[moody]

i'm 20 and when i'm talking to people who are a bit older i feel like i am about 16.

 

[ljwwriter]

I just recently left my parents' home and started living with my sister. Living with my parents certainly wasn't pleasant, especially with my Dad. I guess there just is an age when we're meant to break away from our parents, at least for the sake of our own sanity.
But honestly, I understand that a lot of people don't have options. If it weren't for my sister I wouldn't have had anywhere else to go as I certainly can't afford my own place right now. The cost of living is going sky high, so an apartment is just out of the question for me right now, as I'm sure it is with a lot of other 20-year-olds. And there is no way on earth I could afford a townhouse or anything better.

Of course, it's not as if I feel all that much more independent now that I'm living with my sister, despite the fact that she's often not here and I spend my days alone.

 

[bleach]

ljwwriter,

On point...

Without connections a 'good' job (i.e. one by which you can support yourself) is nearly impossible to find.

With Social Phobia your connections are...???!!?

Ultimately, however, I feel like I am trapped by the expectations others place on me as much as the constraints of society as a whole.

 

[ljwwriter]

ljwwriter,

On point...

Without connections a 'good' job (i.e. one by which you can support yourself) is nearly impossible to find.

With Social Phobia your connections are...???!!?

Ultimately, however, I feel like I am trapped by the expectations others place on me as much as the constraints of society as a whole.

I can't ever imagine forming "connections" which will put me in the position of getting a good job. Anyway, we're all trapped by the expectations of others and society. That's truly the definition of human life. The part that supposedly makes it worth living is the tireless pursuit to break free of such expectations, although we never fully do.

 

[Liz17]

To b ehonest Leaving isnt all its cracked up to be, obviously you want your own independence eventually but dont rush it. There are worse things than being at home trust me, I sometimes do feel alot younger than my friends because they all have there own homes and children. But I see them struggling and they all regret moving out so soon. Maybe it will be the opposite for you, you may need a change but if it doesnt happen its not the worst thing.

 

[Argamemnon]

I was also stuck in my parents homes but moving out was the best thing i ever did, it could work out great for you.

What was so great about it?