staying strong despite the tough times...

[shyindian]

I feel really sad, hurt, disappointed, lost and what not...and I have no one (which i thought would never be the case) to share it with so I'm putting it here....I am really shy and introverted kind of person and find it really hard to connect or relate to people so the people with whom i can connect or relate to are very rare but even they also leave so abruptly..can it get much worse than this?

I know I'm not perfect ( but then nobody is ) I tend to get emotional, clingy but Im very caring and passionate and would do anything for people I care and love........and people really don't care ... but I just can't care any less as it is in my nature...and it really hurts so bad



I have realized that if you want to feel happy you have to learn to be happy with yourself and don't expect others to make you feel special or happy.. I’m too shy and reserved and can’t share my feelings with a person until I know that person really well or in other words it takes me some time to get comfortable with a person andas i said that i rarely feel connected to someone but when i do i tend to get emotionally attached and it really hurts so bad ... I'm trying not to get emotionally attached..

So I had been drinking so heavily and din't take of my health due to some incidents that occurred and my health deteriorated.

But I had to do something about it, if not for myself, for my family and friends because they were really concerned ( but I din't tell them what I was going through) about my behavior at times...I would not talk to people and keep to myself and remained lost...as if cut out from the world around me.

I try to keep myself busy as much as possible so that I dont feel lonely or alone...I don't drink like crazy anymore as i have realized that you have to stay fit and healthy to remain positive and strong ..and for that I have also joined a Gym...I was never fat but I was a bit healthy and used to weigh close to 85 kgs...but now I weigh 72 kgs and I'm close to 6 ft tall and with this height I need to be around 75 kgs ...and I'm trying hard to exercise regularly and stay fit. ..

I also enjoy driving a lot....and I drive like crazy and that too on Indian roads...because it is the only thing that thrills me now a days..and helps me take my mind off from the things that have been happening with me..

I dont know whether I can smile or feel happy anymore but I try to fake it and show others that everything is fine but deep down there is big void in my life and i feel so empty..

I realized I need to stay strong and that’s the only way can i survive...and i learnt it the hard way...

 

[chazer2010]

hey shyindian,read all of it.in this,there are some lessons for me too..thank you for sharing what you feel.because it reminds us that we are not alone.don't think you are alone in this..we are always here for you we all have a war to win within ourselves.so it's good to know there's someone for call help.i can realize you are a good person.because you care about others so much.i had it too(getting so emotional,being so shy,caring about what they'll think about me,wanting to make others happy even if he's a stranger,stuff like that).but i think it's getting better you are doing good.you've stopped drinking and joined a gym,doing what you like to do,enjoying what you like to do,have an understanding about life you are good person shyindian.so you'll get better.good luck

 

[Froggy246]

I can't connect with people easily either, I can be surrounded by people but inside I feel alone and imprisoned, I can't even connect with my parents. Social isolation is one of the hardest internal conditions to cope with, so I think we are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.
I'm going to make some changes too, no more smoking, eating bad food, and aim to do some form of exercise each day, either at the gym or at home, outside maybe too. I'm also going to see a GP next week to see if I can be referred for some therapy because I've realised after years of trying, that I do need some external help too.
I think Chazer is right about following your happiness, energy needs to be in movement, otherwise we stagnate, and unhealthy thoughts fester.
And yes the key is to approve of ourselves, so we don't need approval from other people, that way our relationships would be more authentic, and we will be able to express our selves fully, which I think would help with some of the internal suffering, but how to approve of ones self I don't know.
So I'll join you on some positive changes! Starting today! :thumbup:

 

[shyindian]

hey shyindian,read all of it.in this,there are some lessons for me too..thank you for sharing what you feel.because it reminds us that we are not alone.don't think you are alone in this..we are always here for you we all have a war to win within ourselves.so it's good to know there's someone for call help.i can realize you are a good person.because you care about others so much.i had it too(getting so emotional,being so shy,caring about what they'll think about me,wanting to make others happy even if he's a stranger,stuff like that).but i think it's getting better you are doing good.you've stopped drinking and joined a gym,doing what you like to do,enjoying what you like to do,have an understanding about life you are good person shyindian.so you'll get better.good luck

Thanks @Chazer for the kind words ...yup staying strong is the only way we can survive in this world...Hope things get better for you too.

 

[shyindian]

hey shyindian,read all of it.in this,there are some lessons for me too..thank you for sharing what you feel.because it reminds us that we are not alone.don't think you are alone in this..we are always here for you we all have a war to win within ourselves.so it's good to know there's someone for call help.i can realize you are a good person.because you care about others so much.i had it too(getting so emotional,being so shy,caring about what they'll think about me,wanting to make others happy even if he's a stranger,stuff like that).but i think it's getting better you are doing good.you've stopped drinking and joined a gym,doing what you like to do,enjoying what you like to do,have an understanding about life you are good person shyindian.so you'll get better.good luck

Yup Froggy we need to take care of ourselves first....we tend to forget to take care of ourselves in the process of caring for others and people are not that caring and we need to understand that...and it's gud that you also want some postive changes in your life...Gud luck to you as well!