Starting to Relapse

[IDoubtEverything]

i wanna start by saying i was diagnosed with ocd about 5 years ago.. i suffered with the fear of becoming gay, it was the most horrible thing ive ever had to deal with and with the help of a doctor and some meds i was able to pull out of it after about 3 months, since then i would have thoughts from time to time and i would just let them pass and it worked. Fast forward to this weekend. I got married to the love of my life i had no doubts leading up to it there was alot to do and my mind was busy. We get home from the wedding and as i pass the mirror i think to myself i look too young to be married(im 24), for the first time in a long time i felt overwhelming anxiety. and that oh no not again feeling. and now im a wreck wondering if i can be a good husband, if i did the right thing even though i know i did. Last night i had a dream i had to take my ring off for work and i woke up terrified heart pounding and very anxious. i know its the ocd but its killing me i love my wife and up until yesterday i was loving life. Will this pass with time or should i go see the dr and get some meds i have a real good job and cant let this ocd destroy my life

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Ive dealt with OCD "the doubting disease" yes get help it seems to be coming on strong again. Don't put it off. It sounds really simple but keep reminding yourself "its OCD" not you or how you really feel. Also if you don't already watch Obsessed on A&E at 10pm mondays, it helps knowing there's others like you out there.

 

[Danfalc]

I don't have ocd so I can't understand what your going through.But I think you should go to the doctor,why struggle on your own if you don't have to.Hopefully they will be able to give you some medication which will take the edge off your ocd if not hopefully more.

Really hope things get easier for you soon.

 

[fudgy]

congratulations thats just fabulous news .


So you have got married and this has reared its head again , the not so fab ocd

I cannot imagine the stress behind a wedding , nor the nerves etc etc , but I wold pretty much imagine it takes over for a while ( in a good way , but still stressful) and as you know ocd and stress are a lethal combination. Also I have found that people with ocd when feeling any kind of joy and success with their lives will soon be knocked down and have it spoilt by ocd thoughts.

So all in all it is no surprise really that you have had a bit of a relapse.

Getting married and the thoughts of being a good hubby, losing rings etc etc are only natural for a none ocd person never mind a sufferer.

Just tell the ocd to f*** off and leave your head alone , you know it will only play havoc if you let it run away with you. so be strong , your already a fab husband because you came on a public forum telling us you love your wife and have done the right thing ....... so go and enjoy this wondeful time and try your best to push these thoughts back into the hell hole they came from.

 

[Spike Lee]

So being gay is a bad thing now?

learn something new everyday

 

[fmulmt217]

My doctor mentioned to me once that people with OCD can have "relapses" in their symptoms any time there is a new stressor in their life, and it doesn't have to be a bad stressor like car trouble or losing a job. It can be even the happy times, like having a baby, buying a house, going on an interview for a new job, or...getting married. I suggest you see a doctor about your spike, but keep in mind that even happy times can trigger the stress that feeds the OCD monster. It sucks, I know. But if you get help - whether that be meds or some kind of therapy, you can pull through and have a happy marriage and career. It is very doable, but you have to make the effort.

Getting well is 50% of the job. Staying well is the other 50%. -Fred Penzel

 

[IDoubtEverything]

Thanks for the responses. I talked to the doctor and am feeling better. Im just gonna try and enjoy my life and my wife and try not to worry about unnessary stuff(sounds easy right). There is nothing wrong with being gay if thats what you are but when your straight the thought of turning gay could be a terrifying one