Sqaure One.
- Thread starter WelshOne
- Start date
redski
1
I have felt like this about a women once. I would not say that she was perfect no one is my friend. May be you meant that you thought she was perfect for you?
The only advice I can give you is do not obsess about her, and try to "move on", if things are completely hopeless and over, or else you are just setting yourself up for heart ache.
PM me if you want to talk.
The only advice I can give you is do not obsess about her, and try to "move on", if things are completely hopeless and over, or else you are just setting yourself up for heart ache.
PM me if you want to talk.
Thanks, all.
I really don't think I'm obsessed over her. That's the thing. I have been over a girl before, but this was different. We are two peas from the same pod, and I'm never going to find that again, because I'm so different to most people. Yes, she was perfect for me. Everything I ever wanted in a girl, she was it, even those really unrealistic little hopes you sometimes have.
I'm not sure where she has gone, now. She lives in a different country to me, you see. We spoke briefly this morning on msn, and she told me that she's not good enough for me, and that the pressure of a relationship is too much for her with her SA, and that she doesn't think she will ever get better. Then she left before I could reply, and now I'm so worried. Things had been going so well, too. There was no way way of mistaking that she liked me a lot. :
: It's crazy for her to think she's not good enough, because she's the most respectable and good-hearted person I've ever met. Yes, she has anxiety, but to be honest that's one of the reasons I feel comfortable with her. I hoped that we could get better together, and ignorant and day-dreamy as that may have been.
I really don't think I'm obsessed over her. That's the thing. I have been over a girl before, but this was different. We are two peas from the same pod, and I'm never going to find that again, because I'm so different to most people. Yes, she was perfect for me. Everything I ever wanted in a girl, she was it, even those really unrealistic little hopes you sometimes have.
I'm not sure where she has gone, now. She lives in a different country to me, you see. We spoke briefly this morning on msn, and she told me that she's not good enough for me, and that the pressure of a relationship is too much for her with her SA, and that she doesn't think she will ever get better. Then she left before I could reply, and now I'm so worried. Things had been going so well, too. There was no way way of mistaking that she liked me a lot. :
: It's crazy for her to think she's not good enough, because she's the most respectable and good-hearted person I've ever met. Yes, she has anxiety, but to be honest that's one of the reasons I feel comfortable with her. I hoped that we could get better together, and ignorant and day-dreamy as that may have been.I've only known her a few months. I know, I do get carried away a lot of the time, and I did have her on a pedestal in some ways, but she really is deserving of those feelings. I was obsessed with a girl for a while, so I know what that feels like, to try and convince yourself that things which do actually bother you are are ok, and that it's just my unfair expectations. But there is none of that with this girl, because as I said before, even those little things I secretly hope for in a woman (which are completely unfair to want, and very unrealistic to expect) are true of her. I can't go into details, because they are very personal things, but it kills me to think that I have lost her.
I wanted it too much, and I blew it because I put too much pressure on her.
I have emailed her, because I really need to know that she is ok. So long as she isn't depressed, then I'm sure I will be ok, too. I'm feeling better for having talked about this, so thank you.
I wanted it too much, and I blew it because I put too much pressure on her.
I have emailed her, because I really need to know that she is ok. So long as she isn't depressed, then I'm sure I will be ok, too. I'm feeling better for having talked about this, so thank you.
redski
1
That is good to hear, we are all here for you man.
Without knowing more about the situation I would like to add a few things.
Give her some time, she might come around.
You did show her and tell her how you felt? If so then if she feels for you
like you do for her then I am sure she should show it or say it as best as
she can, but, this might take time for somebody with SA. Trust me I know.
I was just about to write what Serifina wrote, if she has these
insecurity
issues then it will be triple work for, dealing with your own SA/insecurity,
dealing with hers and then finally dealing with the relationship between the two of you.
Are you sure that is what you want?
Thanks redski and Serafina. You have both really helped me.
She knows very much how I feel about her. I think I was too honest, and I put too much pressure on her. I think this all resulted from me talking about coming over to the US to see her, and she is too scared because we have been so open with each other that there is now a large amount of expectations from us both. The idea terrifies me, too, but I know it's something I will have to face at some time in my life, and with her, at least she understands my problems. And I was hoping she would realize that I understand hers, too.
Yes, she said this morning that it was mostly to do with her not feeling good enough for me (and partly to do with the pressure.) I don't know why she feels this way, because I'm absolutely nothing special, at all. And she is an amazing person. I am willing to be extremely patient, and I would stick with her for the rest of my life, but I don't even know if I will get to speak to her again now. Part of me wants to drop everything and go over there to see her. I don't know her address, but I know her name and what town she's in... But I can't do that to her, because I don't think it's fair. If she is that nervous of seeing me, then I don't want to push her anxiety over the edge. I've been there (over the edge,) and I had a mental breakdown as a result of the anxiety, which ruined my life. I would never want to do that to her.
She is definitely what I want, though, yes. Even if I can only be her friend after this, it would mean the world to me. I don't want to lose her completely.
Thank you both, again.
I'm going to edit my first post now, because I'm worried she may read it, and it wouldn't be fair for her to read those things.
You have both really helped me.She knows very much how I feel about her. I think I was too honest, and I put too much pressure on her. I think this all resulted from me talking about coming over to the US to see her, and she is too scared because we have been so open with each other that there is now a large amount of expectations from us both. The idea terrifies me, too, but I know it's something I will have to face at some time in my life, and with her, at least she understands my problems. And I was hoping she would realize that I understand hers, too.
Yes, she said this morning that it was mostly to do with her not feeling good enough for me (and partly to do with the pressure.) I don't know why she feels this way, because I'm absolutely nothing special, at all. And she is an amazing person. I am willing to be extremely patient, and I would stick with her for the rest of my life, but I don't even know if I will get to speak to her again now. Part of me wants to drop everything and go over there to see her. I don't know her address, but I know her name and what town she's in... But I can't do that to her, because I don't think it's fair. If she is that nervous of seeing me, then I don't want to push her anxiety over the edge. I've been there (over the edge,) and I had a mental breakdown as a result of the anxiety, which ruined my life. I would never want to do that to her.
She is definitely what I want, though, yes. Even if I can only be her friend after this, it would mean the world to me. I don't want to lose her completely.
Thank you both, again.
I'm going to edit my first post now, because I'm worried she may read it, and it wouldn't be fair for her to read those things.
Oh, I already edit the first post. :
: I'm not sure I can get it back. I tried going back on my browser but it loads the updated page. :: I'm not sure, though, I said a lot of things which I wouldn't want her to see, because I don't want her to feel guilty for making me upset. I'm praying that she will contact me again. I'm really not sure what I will do if I never know how she is coping.