sp a blessing in disguise!

[jojosparkles]

right well by the title most of u will be thinkin wat the fuck is she bashin her gums about!!!

well since i have had sp i have begun to find myself and the person i want to be. before i was so confused and so stuck up and just wanted to be the trendiest and coolest kid on the block really and show off with how i look or material possesions..very shallow i kno. i did things to look fashionable and to be popular..some things i would do without really wanting to. bad i kno..but wat can i say..i was young and daft!

alot of things have changed with my sp tho. i kno alot of u on here will prob fink that i didnt have it bad but i did in my early teens but blocked it out..it went away and then it came back. i wouldnt get out of bed never mind leave the house! so for anyone who thinks oh well its different for her cos she has always been outgoing or never had it bad..i have.

anyway..i find it has been a blessing in many ways.

firstly i have found out who my friends are..the ones who have stuck by me thru thick and thin and who have took the time to listen to me moan, comfort me..give me cuggles and help me thru a breakdown. these people i hold close to my heart and always will. they are precious!

my family...i have a close relationship now with my sister. i addressed problems with my mam and dad which was causing my anxiety so they kno the causes and now i am happy in myself and the whole house is happy. i also have a fab relationship with my nana..my best friend and also gorgeous! also my auntie who has coped with alot of problems herself and is a lifeline to me!

career wise..i was totally confused! i didnt kno wat on earth i wanted to do..moved away..moved back..worked all over..did a levels..applied to uni..didnt work! lol! now im in a pharmacy but i kno i want to stick in a glamourous job..so im openin my own beauty business..going to college to do sports massage and goin to also start training as a hairdresser hopefully with toni and guy.

i have found new hobbies..things that make me happy! they dont have to be trendy either. i have taken up yoga..pilates..pilates on the ball..aerobics..spinning..bums and tums and the gym. when im fit im also startin runnin again! i have started readin again and paintin. i also keep fit in the house and do floor work as well as on a gym ball. i make sure i make time for my friends aswell even if its just for them to come up mine for some ice cream! lol! music has been really important in my life aswell! i also say my prayers again! i appreciate life and people alot more!

i always thought aswell..and this was my biggest thing and still is a slight problem..that people will only like me cos of how i look. other people and esp people on spw has shown to me that personality is wat truly counts and thats why i would rather work and spend time on the inner me..than the outer me! people soon get sick of looking at someone. if i wake up and im not singin or happy..i work on my mood all day and do things to improve it..i like to be happy and to make others smile..even if i show myself up in the process. i feel like a much better person!

i dress the way i want to..and show my personality that way. i say wat i want to aswell as long as its harmless. i dont act in anyway to impress..i am just me..no matter where u go ppl arent goin to like u..but sod them..just be u..there are plenty of others who will like ya.

my eating was also really faddy..keepin up with fashionable diets and silly ones. now im aimin to go veggie and eat all orgarnic if possible. im learning how to cook! lol! i kno it may be old fashioned but it keeps me happy.

relationships were also shit for me..i could never be with one person. now i realise i need to be happy on my own and then another person can come along to make me even happier..they shouldnt b the main cause of my joy.

most importantly i have realised things in life that will make me truly happy. i have realised i only have one life and may aswell make the most of it and be the person i want to be. other people are just people..they are them..im me. if they can do wat they like then so can i. i dont have to do anything i dont want to either! materialistic things..possesions..looking good are all false happiness. they are short lived.

aswell as all this i have met some fab people with sp! all genuine..the most caring adorable supportive loving people i have ever met in my life! the people who keep me going and keep me smiling! friends i would love to have for life and to see progress as i am. :lol:

i know this post was long but i kno that its nice to have some positivity. u prob all think im full of shit or watever and fings wont get better but they will. just takes time and a kick up the arse! people always say oh u will find yourself..u will b a stronger person..u think oh watever..it is true tho :wink:

 

[Quixote]

I can't say I can relate to anything of what you described, but still it's good things are turning in the right direction for you.

I find it difficult to understand how some people (I have read about a few on this site) seem to go from one extreme to another. Like from not being able to get out of the house to being almost hyperactive, or from not eating to eating too much. Or even from being extroverts to having SP.

I'm the contrary of that, I have felt exactly the same throughout my whole life. I never had problems to go outside, I never had many friends, I always had a tendency to give up on things that I started, if I started them at all. I have the same hobbies, the same interests. I don't have excessive mood swings, because my mood is always rather bad and it simply stays that way. But not usually as bad as to not being able to function, more or less.
Well, I guess I should not be so surprised to have discovered that different people have a different character indeed

 

[boodizm]

Always thinking about the bad things with having sp nearly all the time, it has lead me to occasionally think what the silver lining may be.
For one I find myself being alot more understanding and caring towards people with problems or dissabilities because I know exactly whats it's like to live with an impairment for years and not be able to live to my potential. I think I am much more sensitive because of this. It's a simple motto but one i've always used, and thats 'treat others how you would like to be treated'.
With relationships I can relate to what you said jojo, about being satisfied and happy with yourself when you are single but looking forward to the extra happiness of finding that special person.
It's also made me learn to be my own person, disregarding trends, material possessions and attitudes that have nothing to do with what I am. The time I have had alone has helped me realise what the important things in life are so when I manage to shake this monkey of my back I will be better for it and be able to make a difference in my own life as well as others.

 

[poppy]

Thank you!

I am a recovering eating disorder person, and i've always said my ED was a blessing in diguise as recovery has helped me in countless ways. there is so much that i would not have realsied was problematic and needed fixing had it not been for the ED. now i've got this SP demon to deal with. actually it's always been there i just never realised that all this stuff was wrapped up in this one demon. I am far from seeing it as a blessing in disguise but you have helped me to remember my ED perspective so i know that i can now change my perceptions to view SP as a blessing too.

thanks again.

 

[Septor]

right well by the title most of u will be thinkin wat the fuck is she bashin her gums about!!!

well since i have had sp i have begun to find myself and the person i want to be. before i was so confused and so stuck up and just wanted to be the trendiest and coolest kid on the block really and show off with how i look or material possesions..very shallow i kno. i did things to look fashionable and to be popular..some things i would do without really wanting to. bad i kno..but wat can i say..i was young and daft!

alot of things have changed with my sp tho. i kno alot of u on here will prob fink that i didnt have it bad but i did in my early teens but blocked it out..it went away and then it came back. i wouldnt get out of bed never mind leave the house! so for anyone who thinks oh well its different for her cos she has always been outgoing or never had it bad..i have.

anyway..i find it has been a blessing in many ways.

firstly i have found out who my friends are..the ones who have stuck by me thru thick and thin and who have took the time to listen to me moan, comfort me..give me cuggles and help me thru a breakdown. these people i hold close to my heart and always will. they are precious!

my family...i have a close relationship now with my sister. i addressed problems with my mam and dad which was causing my anxiety so they kno the causes and now i am happy in myself and the whole house is happy. i also have a fab relationship with my nana..my best friend and also gorgeous! also my auntie who has coped with alot of problems herself and is a lifeline to me!

career wise..i was totally confused! i didnt kno wat on earth i wanted to do..moved away..moved back..worked all over..did a levels..applied to uni..didnt work! lol! now im in a pharmacy but i kno i want to stick in a glamourous job..so im openin my own beauty business..going to college to do sports massage and goin to also start training as a hairdresser hopefully with toni and guy.

i have found new hobbies..things that make me happy! they dont have to be trendy either. i have taken up yoga..pilates..pilates on the ball..aerobics..spinning..bums and tums and the gym. when im fit im also startin runnin again! i have started readin again and paintin. i also keep fit in the house and do floor work as well as on a gym ball. i make sure i make time for my friends aswell even if its just for them to come up mine for some ice cream! lol! music has been really important in my life aswell! i also say my prayers again! i appreciate life and people alot more!

i always thought aswell..and this was my biggest thing and still is a slight problem..that people will only like me cos of how i look. other people and esp people on spw has shown to me that personality is wat truly counts and thats why i would rather work and spend time on the inner me..than the outer me! people soon get sick of looking at someone. if i wake up and im not singin or happy..i work on my mood all day and do things to improve it..i like to be happy and to make others smile..even if i show myself up in the process. i feel like a much better person!

i dress the way i want to..and show my personality that way. i say wat i want to aswell as long as its harmless. i dont act in anyway to impress..i am just me..no matter where u go ppl arent goin to like u..but sod them..just be u..there are plenty of others who will like ya.

my eating was also really faddy..keepin up with fashionable diets and silly ones. now im aimin to go veggie and eat all orgarnic if possible. im learning how to cook! lol! i kno it may be old fashioned but it keeps me happy.

relationships were also shit for me..i could never be with one person. now i realise i need to be happy on my own and then another person can come along to make me even happier..they shouldnt b the main cause of my joy.

most importantly i have realised things in life that will make me truly happy. i have realised i only have one life and may aswell make the most of it and be the person i want to be. other people are just people..they are them..im me. if they can do wat they like then so can i. i dont have to do anything i dont want to either! materialistic things..possesions..looking good are all false happiness. they are short lived.

aswell as all this i have met some fab people with sp! all genuine..the most caring adorable supportive loving people i have ever met in my life! the people who keep me going and keep me smiling! friends i would love to have for life and to see progress as i am. :lol:

i know this post was long but i kno that its nice to have some positivity. u prob all think im full of shit or watever and fings wont get better but they will. just takes time and a kick up the arse! people always say oh u will find yourself..u will b a stronger person..u think oh watever..it is true tho :wink:

Good job jojo.It's always good to hear how you seem to be improving.Your on the your way to good things

I can't relate to what your saying really.I have been the way I am now my whole life.I guess you could say I was born like that and I find it a daily struggle to get through the day.So I cant really say I see any positive in have sp.Nothing but bad things.Also like Quixote said it amazes me how some people seem to go from one extreme to the other and I really never understood how happens but I guess I should not be surprise.

I think it come down to the fact that no experience is the same for any one person and we all interpret and gain different knowledge from our life experience.Some good some bad.

But like I said before good job jojo.If you have gain some thing positive from sp i'm happy for you.You keep on improving your self and i'm sure you will have happy life.Keep on sparkling girl.

 

[crescent]

I think we can only count sp as a blessing once we get better from it. I do think it's a blessing for me, just because now I'm getting better. Just by learning how to cope with sp I think can teach us lots of wisdom. Learn to accept ourselves, learn that many things in this world aren't really necessary, I mean popularity, approval, possession. I especially thankful that I'm closer to God through sp. We are only growing as a person through suffering and struggling. Once we pass through it, we will see how much it benefits us. Sure, it's tough to say this when you are still in the suffering itself.

 

[IcanDoIt]

right well by the title most of u will be thinkin wat the fuck is she bashin her gums about!!!

well since i have had sp i have begun to find myself and the person i want to be. before i was so confused and so stuck up and just wanted to be the trendiest and coolest kid on the block really and show off with how i look or material possesions..very shallow i kno. i did things to look fashionable and to be popular..some things i would do without really wanting to. bad i kno..but wat can i say..i was young and daft!

alot of things have changed with my sp tho. i kno alot of u on here will prob fink that i didnt have it bad but i did in my early teens but blocked it out..it went away and then it came back. i wouldnt get out of bed never mind leave the house! so for anyone who thinks oh well its different for her cos she has always been outgoing or never had it bad..i have.

anyway..i find it has been a blessing in many ways.

firstly i have found out who my friends are..the ones who have stuck by me thru thick and thin and who have took the time to listen to me moan, comfort me..give me cuggles and help me thru a breakdown. these people i hold close to my heart and always will. they are precious!

my family...i have a close relationship now with my sister. i addressed problems with my mam and dad which was causing my anxiety so they kno the causes and now i am happy in myself and the whole house is happy. i also have a fab relationship with my nana..my best friend and also gorgeous! also my auntie who has coped with alot of problems herself and is a lifeline to me!

career wise..i was totally confused! i didnt kno wat on earth i wanted to do..moved away..moved back..worked all over..did a levels..applied to uni..didnt work! lol! now im in a pharmacy but i kno i want to stick in a glamourous job..so im openin my own beauty business..going to college to do sports massage and goin to also start training as a hairdresser hopefully with toni and guy.

i have found new hobbies..things that make me happy! they dont have to be trendy either. i have taken up yoga..pilates..pilates on the ball..aerobics..spinning..bums and tums and the gym. when im fit im also startin runnin again! i have started readin again and paintin. i also keep fit in the house and do floor work as well as on a gym ball. i make sure i make time for my friends aswell even if its just for them to come up mine for some ice cream! lol! music has been really important in my life aswell! i also say my prayers again! i appreciate life and people alot more!

i always thought aswell..and this was my biggest thing and still is a slight problem..that people will only like me cos of how i look. other people and esp people on spw has shown to me that personality is wat truly counts and thats why i would rather work and spend time on the inner me..than the outer me! people soon get sick of looking at someone. if i wake up and im not singin or happy..i work on my mood all day and do things to improve it..i like to be happy and to make others smile..even if i show myself up in the process. i feel like a much better person!

i dress the way i want to..and show my personality that way. i say wat i want to aswell as long as its harmless. i dont act in anyway to impress..i am just me..no matter where u go ppl arent goin to like u..but sod them..just be u..there are plenty of others who will like ya.

my eating was also really faddy..keepin up with fashionable diets and silly ones. now im aimin to go veggie and eat all orgarnic if possible. im learning how to cook! lol! i kno it may be old fashioned but it keeps me happy.

relationships were also shit for me..i could never be with one person. now i realise i need to be happy on my own and then another person can come along to make me even happier..they shouldnt b the main cause of my joy.

most importantly i have realised things in life that will make me truly happy. i have realised i only have one life and may aswell make the most of it and be the person i want to be. other people are just people..they are them..im me. if they can do wat they like then so can i. i dont have to do anything i dont want to either! materialistic things..possesions..looking good are all false happiness. they are short lived.

aswell as all this i have met some fab people with sp! all genuine..the most caring adorable supportive loving people i have ever met in my life! the people who keep me going and keep me smiling! friends i would love to have for life and to see progress as i am. :lol:

i know this post was long but i kno that its nice to have some positivity. u prob all think im full of shit or watever and fings wont get better but they will. just takes time and a kick up the arse! people always say oh u will find yourself..u will b a stronger person..u think oh watever..it is true tho :wink:

O MAN, thats awesomely true...

 

[jojosparkles]

to all my lovelies that replied thank you. i actually debated writing this post cos i knew it would be long but if i had just sed sp was a blessing and not explained why..no one would have believed me.
to everything everyone sed i relate to..and even to the ones who couldnt relate to anythin at all! i was at that stage..i couldnt c any silver lining..anything positive..i was stuck in a rut..in bad routines and doin the same thing. my mood was generally bad. i fink that that was when the depression clouded over everything and made sp unbearable. once that lifted i realised how important it is to be content and happy in life and to find my own path. before that i just stuck to the things i knew..the things that wouldnt cause anxiety..the comfort zone i suppose. i realised tho..that this comfort zone was a barrier to my happiness...my biggest comfort..staying in bed all day had to go. i would have slept my one and only life away. i decided to live life like a was dead anyway..i couldnt feel any shittier inside so i just pleased myself and gave things a go. unbelievably a liked them aswell!
i do feel like sp has made me do alot of work on myself. i now kno wat i want to do and how i want to live my life. i kno the qualities i want as a person...before these were..pretty,popular,lively,loud,mad,bright,bubbly,succesful,adorable..now i would rather be gentle,loving,giving,kind,sharing,respectful,happy,forgiving,understanding,compassionate as well as being bright and bubbly. it was like i was constantly battling with myself cos i didnt kno wat i wanted at all. everything was confused. i didnt have opinions..attitudes..virtues and goals of my own. everything was to please others and that was crap!

oh gawd am babblin again! anyway ya get the idea! thanks for ya replies made my day! :wink:

 

[Meow]

Hey JoJo, just wanted to say that was a great post and I really admire you seeing the good changes in yourself and seeing the good in having SP It sounds like you've got your priorities right now and the qualities you want to have. I feel the same way too.

I feel that having these issues has definatley helped me realize who my true friends are, helped me become more passionate in understanding how other people feel and their problems etc. I feel like if I didn't have SP I would be a different person, people think i'm sweet, loving and compassionate and that's how I want to be seen. Not loud and the center of attention. I hope when i'm feeling better with meds and therapy that part of me is still shy and I still have those qualities.

Your post was very inspiring *kiss*

Ps. I love Tink! my hubby always buys me a lot of Tink things from his work but the worst thing ever has happened... it's tragic... I have had this tink blanket for about 2 years, I cuddled with it on the couch every day and it's suddenly DISSAPEARED!!!! dun dun dun

 

[jojosparkles]

aww thats lovely! yea bein popular and the centre of attention aint all its cracked up to be! u just on a ownward spiral and lookinf for the approval of others! sad way to live ya life! glad i offered ya some inspiration! i just kno life can be so negative at times!

 

[Luckiecharm]

Good 4 you Ms. Sparkles!

I have to agree with you, I think there are alot of blessings that come from pain and struggle, no matter what the cause. It's just not so easy to see them when you're in the midst of, well - alot of crap! It's funny because I used to be really sociable and outgoing too, but when I lost all that I was forced to look deeper for some kind of meaning in my life and I'm thankful for that.

 

[jojosparkles]

im happy for u luckie! its nice to find who u want to be! its like bein born again ..without soundin cheesy! lol! hehe :lol:

 

[Chrysta]

SA was good for me because I have definitly matured and I count my blessing a lot more. I found my best friend who I love very much on a message board that I am sure I wouldn't have posted on if I didn't have SA.