South African with avd

[spikiri]

hi
i am a student at cape town originaly from gauteng and i have avoidant personality disoder. i always want to please people
Growing up, I denied to myself that I had feelings. I tried to ignore all of them. A person without feelings, can't get hurt, right? Wrong! I was living behind a wall, in my own world. When I look back I realize that all my thoughts and actions were controlled by my malfunctioning personality. Nothing I thought or felt back then about other people is valid or just. I actually thought that most people wanted to 'figure me out', find me innermost secrets, expose them and ridicule me and take pleasure from the process. It causes great pain to shut of your feelings like that, because it's not just the bad feelings (the anxiety) but the good feelings also (the ability to feel and express love/friendship/ect. for someone else). The isolation is bad, but it's not as bad as the anxiety (in the beginning, at least

 

[Skog]

The isolation is bad, but it's not as bad as the anxiety (in the beginning, at least

I have read avoidants referred to as lonely loners. I hope learning about yourself is helping you achieve a better life.

 

[CHAKRAPOINT]

im in namibia

 

[Taydos]

Im also from South Africa, in Gauteng, Johannesburg. I found out i had avd just a week now, and this site has assisted me so much in understanding this condition, i dont know if its a life time condition, its something i wouldn't wish on any person, anyway, hi