First I just want to introduce myself. I am a 21 year old boy in college.I look pretty fit, pretty good looking, sensitive about other people, if im in a good mood i could be funny, but for some reason i cant make friends. i cant write my whole life in one post it is extremely complicated.
I toughened up a bit, i am not a pushover anymore and dont care so much what people think of me. But i care about people that matter.
I really want a girlfriend like really. but i dont know if i can make connections right now, if i can even really connect.
The other problem with colleges is if you start off socially on the wrong foot you will have a really hard time starting fresh. Yeah sure the first day is not bad, i could get the courage to say hell where you from, but after a few days, people see who you really are. They become suspicous, even afraid to talk to you. You are wierd, and maybe even a little threatening.(sigh)
I am just rambling, but i really dont know what to think. some times it is so bad i want to drop out of college. i was never invited to one party, never invited on trips. Why? I talk i am a nice guy, why cant i fit in. I am not asking to be Mr. Popular, just to fit in and have a girlfriend. Is that too much too ask?
The second half is me. I wont get into this but i have a history with extreme anxiety borderline ocd, which has gotten much better thank god. But i still struggle. maybe its add or something, but i really have trouble concentrating, im too busy obsessing. as a kid concentration was my strongest asset. yes, i am diffrerent, i just cant figure out why.
