Jordan
Active member
Hello!
Some of my character traits are surely common to many here: introverted, a social misfit and with excessive anxiety in various situations. Very unwillingly to share my innermost thoughts with the others, a possibly inborn trait that has been boosted by bad experience. Sharing my issues mostly led me to one-time put-downs in the best cases and to have them spread as gossips in the worst.
However, there is the positive side of the coin. Passing through all this made me self-relying to a good degree and improved my intellectual skills, being aware that I can only count on myself.
A more pesky side of my character, one that I would willingly drop, is what I've called the Sore Loser Syndrome (SLS). With games, but more generally and more significantly with all conflictual situations, I hate losing. I try to deny that it happened, that I was defeated or humiliated, that I made a fool of myself and so on. Meanwhile, I keep looking for a chance to give a payback. Yet sometimes no chance is given and I just can't let it behind.
The memory of such events haunts me, and time doesn't help. I believed that fading of bad memories would have occurred, or they would have lost their emotional strength. However, it didn't work this way. They resurface with no predictable pattern, in times and situations that have nothing to do with them.
Realizing how irrational is this, as it focuses on things of a far away past that are unable to affect my reputation, did not help to stop them. It is like I have a warped feeling that there is something unfair to be straightened out.
I wonder if SLS is included as a significant symptom of some other disorder, and if not I claim copyright with it. At any rate, I'd be glad hearing comment by people who have experiences something similar, and if and how they have been able to get rid of it.
Thank you for your time.
All the best,
Jordan
Some of my character traits are surely common to many here: introverted, a social misfit and with excessive anxiety in various situations. Very unwillingly to share my innermost thoughts with the others, a possibly inborn trait that has been boosted by bad experience. Sharing my issues mostly led me to one-time put-downs in the best cases and to have them spread as gossips in the worst.
However, there is the positive side of the coin. Passing through all this made me self-relying to a good degree and improved my intellectual skills, being aware that I can only count on myself.
A more pesky side of my character, one that I would willingly drop, is what I've called the Sore Loser Syndrome (SLS). With games, but more generally and more significantly with all conflictual situations, I hate losing. I try to deny that it happened, that I was defeated or humiliated, that I made a fool of myself and so on. Meanwhile, I keep looking for a chance to give a payback. Yet sometimes no chance is given and I just can't let it behind.
The memory of such events haunts me, and time doesn't help. I believed that fading of bad memories would have occurred, or they would have lost their emotional strength. However, it didn't work this way. They resurface with no predictable pattern, in times and situations that have nothing to do with them.
Realizing how irrational is this, as it focuses on things of a far away past that are unable to affect my reputation, did not help to stop them. It is like I have a warped feeling that there is something unfair to be straightened out.
I wonder if SLS is included as a significant symptom of some other disorder, and if not I claim copyright with it. At any rate, I'd be glad hearing comment by people who have experiences something similar, and if and how they have been able to get rid of it.
Thank you for your time.
All the best,
Jordan