ThaKid416
Member
ITS A LONG POST, BUT PLS READ...AND PLS COMMENT TOO, ID APPRECIATE SOME FEEDBACK CAUSE I BEEN THINKIN ALOT ABOUT THIS.
Hey Im goin thru some pretty rough times now, like everyone here...this anxiety shit has been brutal for a few years now...agoraphobia, GAD, all this bullshit im bein diagnosed with feelin like a dam case study n all that. ..
Anyways, this little situation has got me thinkin so damn much, and had me diggin deep in myself and the world around me for answers thatll help to STAY UP. I learned a little that explains alot...
K a little bout me first off...im livin downtown Toronto, not the hood but we still get shootings, lotsa drugs and everybody mixes/chills everywhere. I also sell weed lol. Too many my friends are on house arrest, jail, injured n shit from beef, and all that stuff got me thinkin ALOT about what I knew was goin on in my head. How can some my boys almost die from gettin shanked, or spend months on house arrest or in jail awaitin trial? or catch a bid? How cna they do that shit and keep their sanity and I have a PANIC attack (which I aint seen these dudes have in the face of ALOT of shit) cause I think people are watchin me??? People cant just be supermen, so whats up???
I know you could say these ppl are retarded and thats just why tehy stay sane, but theres alotta ppl who just arent fools and had bad upbringins leadin to behavioural/mental habits just like us, and also there are alotta retarded people with SAD. They stay sane cause their brains are better at mental/psyche survival then ours are. Their brains can see reality for what it is and know when a certain process just IS NOT adaptive, despite what previous conditioning has taught them (or lacked to lol). Although alotta em (includin myself sometimes) struggle with other stupid habits that dont do them great, they keep their heads up and dont get as miserable as we do when we go through less. Even if theyve been taught jails a huge deal, they are too far past the line to go back and they know that theres no point worryin anymore about jail...the situation is not being turned back on, the decision is made, and the brain moves on...and thats how i see this anxiety thing, but im sure you been told this before so the thing is how do you get to that stage?
You need to be down for risks, and stop carin so much bout consequences. And that is what SOLDIERIN UP is. You gotta be a soldier out there, ready to take a lickin and ready to dish out everything you have for what you know in your heart you want. You know you want to feel comfortable in the world, you know you want pussy, money, a meaningful relationship, all taht shit...and I think you know what you have to do if you dont make excuses and be a pussy yourself. If you have no confidence understand this...performance IS confidence with sports, gettin your mack on, arguin, alotta crucial stuff. So if you are unconfident, its prolly because some reason (eg. you think you are fat). But if you are fat and carry yourself well, ive seen the fattest people mack the fittest...and fat girls get dick, trust me, ENUFF ppl like the cushin for the pushin, specially my jamaican brejrin LOL. And if you are unconfident because you know you are unconfident and think it shows, ive seen alotta girls go for shy guys if you dont act like a COMPLETE pussy around them. THe blushing, the stuttering, that isnt in your control...fine. But bein afraid to assert yourself, takin jks too personally, that is up to you, so recognize things. Girls just want a man, so be one...if youre comfortable with the fact that youre shy, i swear youll be fine socially...ppl respect that, girls and guys. Its total pussies that dont get respect and get bullied, not simply quiet kids. Dont be proud of yourself because some stupid ass ad told you, be proud of yourself because you know when your mind is right (which is up to you), you can pull shit off. You gotta stop fearin fear, and to do that you gotta CONSTRUCTIVELY put yourself in the fear. Know that even if it kicks in and you lose, it dont matter, and heres why...
I learnt somethin real simple that alotta people lsoe sight of, and this is how people locked up for 10 years keep their sanity. Or people who know theres men out there lookin to take they head off..Life dont matter lol. I know you been told it, but you really gotta digest it in EVERY REGARD. I strongly believe a scientific understand of whats goin on in your brain is needed for this. You gotta see us for what we are, cut the bullshit. You started off as a few molecules, grew into more molecules that developed molecules to would help themselves carry on and reproduce...natural selection over millions of years has led to what we are today, and thats because things created by random mutations (eg. our EMOTIONS) promoted our survival...Everything we feel is just matter that promotes the continued existence of more matter...If we die, it dont even fuckin matter, its just like a computer turnin off...Imagine computers were in a jungle and the ones that could compute the best survived...THATS what we are...Dont listen to people/yourself sayin theres a right/wrong way to live, a righteous path, expectancies, a way to "make somethin of yourself"...ALL of that is subjective and created by us, so you can create your own standards out of respect for YOURSELF and what YOUR life should be...Ill tell you somethin, only 1 rule exists in this world and that is called evolution/natural selection. Yes, morals and all that keep society runnin nice n smooth, but they are nice things insteada actual laws of the world. Evolution and self preservation is the only law. So to those Christian propagandists n all taht, ill fuckin decide whats right and ill be fine with this control feel me? In 3rd world countries and even where I live people die like its nothing, and thats the way the world NATURALLY is...we're animals and if we can compete more freely (ie. option of killing competitors), we'll take it alotta times, shit aint abnormal in the grand scheme of history and if you lose and get outed, you fuckin lost like millions of others before you, no biggie lol...you aint unique, quit boostin yourself
In todays world evolution is differnet than it used to be tho...its a social thing now. If youre a complete pussy, youll fall to the bottom and get pushed around. If youre confident and willing to assert and compete, it doesnt even matter bout the rest. Even if youre shy, even if youre skinny, or fat, or mexican, or white, or w/e. You dont have to be mr. talkative or mr. pimp, just be confident in what you have and comfortable with what you dont have. Understand that what you have and dont have can ALWAYs change too and if you are confident/comfortable that WILL change for your liking.
if you wanna take the christian route with God n all that, feel free, Id say you were just blindin yourself outta weakness tho...fuck a god, the worlds yours baby grasp that shit, you should feel priveledged insteada uncomfortable with control/power, dont needa shift it to some imaginary dude. Imma hit a blunt tho, PEACE
Hey Im goin thru some pretty rough times now, like everyone here...this anxiety shit has been brutal for a few years now...agoraphobia, GAD, all this bullshit im bein diagnosed with feelin like a dam case study n all that. ..
Anyways, this little situation has got me thinkin so damn much, and had me diggin deep in myself and the world around me for answers thatll help to STAY UP. I learned a little that explains alot...
K a little bout me first off...im livin downtown Toronto, not the hood but we still get shootings, lotsa drugs and everybody mixes/chills everywhere. I also sell weed lol. Too many my friends are on house arrest, jail, injured n shit from beef, and all that stuff got me thinkin ALOT about what I knew was goin on in my head. How can some my boys almost die from gettin shanked, or spend months on house arrest or in jail awaitin trial? or catch a bid? How cna they do that shit and keep their sanity and I have a PANIC attack (which I aint seen these dudes have in the face of ALOT of shit) cause I think people are watchin me??? People cant just be supermen, so whats up???
I know you could say these ppl are retarded and thats just why tehy stay sane, but theres alotta ppl who just arent fools and had bad upbringins leadin to behavioural/mental habits just like us, and also there are alotta retarded people with SAD. They stay sane cause their brains are better at mental/psyche survival then ours are. Their brains can see reality for what it is and know when a certain process just IS NOT adaptive, despite what previous conditioning has taught them (or lacked to lol). Although alotta em (includin myself sometimes) struggle with other stupid habits that dont do them great, they keep their heads up and dont get as miserable as we do when we go through less. Even if theyve been taught jails a huge deal, they are too far past the line to go back and they know that theres no point worryin anymore about jail...the situation is not being turned back on, the decision is made, and the brain moves on...and thats how i see this anxiety thing, but im sure you been told this before so the thing is how do you get to that stage?
You need to be down for risks, and stop carin so much bout consequences. And that is what SOLDIERIN UP is. You gotta be a soldier out there, ready to take a lickin and ready to dish out everything you have for what you know in your heart you want. You know you want to feel comfortable in the world, you know you want pussy, money, a meaningful relationship, all taht shit...and I think you know what you have to do if you dont make excuses and be a pussy yourself. If you have no confidence understand this...performance IS confidence with sports, gettin your mack on, arguin, alotta crucial stuff. So if you are unconfident, its prolly because some reason (eg. you think you are fat). But if you are fat and carry yourself well, ive seen the fattest people mack the fittest...and fat girls get dick, trust me, ENUFF ppl like the cushin for the pushin, specially my jamaican brejrin LOL. And if you are unconfident because you know you are unconfident and think it shows, ive seen alotta girls go for shy guys if you dont act like a COMPLETE pussy around them. THe blushing, the stuttering, that isnt in your control...fine. But bein afraid to assert yourself, takin jks too personally, that is up to you, so recognize things. Girls just want a man, so be one...if youre comfortable with the fact that youre shy, i swear youll be fine socially...ppl respect that, girls and guys. Its total pussies that dont get respect and get bullied, not simply quiet kids. Dont be proud of yourself because some stupid ass ad told you, be proud of yourself because you know when your mind is right (which is up to you), you can pull shit off. You gotta stop fearin fear, and to do that you gotta CONSTRUCTIVELY put yourself in the fear. Know that even if it kicks in and you lose, it dont matter, and heres why...
I learnt somethin real simple that alotta people lsoe sight of, and this is how people locked up for 10 years keep their sanity. Or people who know theres men out there lookin to take they head off..Life dont matter lol. I know you been told it, but you really gotta digest it in EVERY REGARD. I strongly believe a scientific understand of whats goin on in your brain is needed for this. You gotta see us for what we are, cut the bullshit. You started off as a few molecules, grew into more molecules that developed molecules to would help themselves carry on and reproduce...natural selection over millions of years has led to what we are today, and thats because things created by random mutations (eg. our EMOTIONS) promoted our survival...Everything we feel is just matter that promotes the continued existence of more matter...If we die, it dont even fuckin matter, its just like a computer turnin off...Imagine computers were in a jungle and the ones that could compute the best survived...THATS what we are...Dont listen to people/yourself sayin theres a right/wrong way to live, a righteous path, expectancies, a way to "make somethin of yourself"...ALL of that is subjective and created by us, so you can create your own standards out of respect for YOURSELF and what YOUR life should be...Ill tell you somethin, only 1 rule exists in this world and that is called evolution/natural selection. Yes, morals and all that keep society runnin nice n smooth, but they are nice things insteada actual laws of the world. Evolution and self preservation is the only law. So to those Christian propagandists n all taht, ill fuckin decide whats right and ill be fine with this control feel me? In 3rd world countries and even where I live people die like its nothing, and thats the way the world NATURALLY is...we're animals and if we can compete more freely (ie. option of killing competitors), we'll take it alotta times, shit aint abnormal in the grand scheme of history and if you lose and get outed, you fuckin lost like millions of others before you, no biggie lol...you aint unique, quit boostin yourself
In todays world evolution is differnet than it used to be tho...its a social thing now. If youre a complete pussy, youll fall to the bottom and get pushed around. If youre confident and willing to assert and compete, it doesnt even matter bout the rest. Even if youre shy, even if youre skinny, or fat, or mexican, or white, or w/e. You dont have to be mr. talkative or mr. pimp, just be confident in what you have and comfortable with what you dont have. Understand that what you have and dont have can ALWAYs change too and if you are confident/comfortable that WILL change for your liking.
if you wanna take the christian route with God n all that, feel free, Id say you were just blindin yourself outta weakness tho...fuck a god, the worlds yours baby grasp that shit, you should feel priveledged insteada uncomfortable with control/power, dont needa shift it to some imaginary dude. Imma hit a blunt tho, PEACE
