Social Pyramid - Anyone Like this?

[Rednaxela]

Hello,
I am new to the forum, and I guess I self diagnosed my self with social phobia. All my symptoms match up with the ones listed on numerous websites. I go to school as a HS sophomore.. hope to get a car soon.

At school, I am not a complete loser. I have somewhat regular communication with the "cool crowd". I am an a weird situation, because I do not belong to one group of friends. Instead, I have different friends who are apart of different crowds or groups of people. I do not have a "best" friend, and I haven't got together with a friend in over a year.

I've told myself it will be much easier when I get a car- and I'm sure it will be. I would hang out with a lot more people, as it's easier to get around with an automobile than a bike

I've never had a girlfriend, and I've never kissed a girl. I think my social phobia is to blame. There is, however, a girl that I know who likes me.. but I know she has had many other boyfriends, and it seems that I cannot compete. It also seems like a hassle to have a girlfriend, at least for more.

Anyways, onto the topic...
What I mean by a social pyramid is that when I am at school, I can easily talk to people that are considered lower in "rank" or popularity than me. I have no problem talking to these people, and I have no problem talking to people that I have known for a while (a couple months or so).
But when it comes to talking to a new person who is more superior (lol) than me, like a popular girl (mostly girls) or boys, my heart races, I start to get hot and sweat. This also happens at work, when talking to the older staff members.

I want these feelings to go away. It's very annoying and I'm literally sick of it.
The only thing that helps me is marijuana, and I can't be stoned all the time, so that's only a temporary fix.

Anyone like this?
Thanks for reading this long post...

 

[freestylemonster]

Yeah same here, it's like when I know someone is less cool than me I'm not afraid of what they'll think of me, but when they're cooler than me (which most people are haha) I have all the symptoms of SA...it's really annoying!! I'd say the best thing to do is just hang out with people of the same social status as you, and don't try to be cool, just go with the flow

 

[Rednaxela]

Thanks.
But still, I still have symptoms of SA even if I'm around girls/boys that I don't know.
I can only act normal around people I know or complete losers.
And yes, indeed, it is extremely annoying. I don't want to act this way. I like to be social, I really do, but I just can't do it.

 

[danstelter]

Stay away from the marijuana...using self-medication in this forum will only INCREASE your anxiety. Instead, challenge the thought that other people are "superior" to you. Believe instead that you are at least equal in worth to that person, even though others may hold that person in higher regard. Finally, there is nothing wrong with being nervous when talking to people that are "cool" or who have more social power than you. A little nervousness is normal, however, your nervousness seems a tad excessive.

 

[lettypagb]

i kissed a girl and i liked it

 

[Nack]

Yea, i know what you mean. I have trouble talking with teachers and people that are my ages. I dont know why, but preppy kids just annoy the hell out of me. Its also hard to talk to them also...I guess in a strange way, i catogorize those preppy kids as rich white kids who lives in suburb, have sports car, pretty girls, money, everything.

 

[TAMPA-BAY]

social pyrmids

This is a extremely intresting topic. Its not just social at least for me. Its everywhere. If i see a police officer at the mall i get nervous. If i see former school mates who might of achieved more in life than me I feel uncomfortable around.

I think there must be a bigger connection between social ranks and our anxiety.