Social Phobics of the world, UNITE!

[RiverJourney]

The power of one mind is great. Imagine the power and knowledge of a hundred minds working together for a common purpose.

I propose that each of us come up with a single idea on how best to overcome Social Anxiety. As soon as the results are in we can do a brainstorm and from this come up with the ultimate plan on how to overcome Social Anxiety.

There are hundreds of people on this forum; if only we could deliberately harness all that knowledge for the common good...it's somewhat similar to Andrews idea of a Social Anxiety utopia..or if you have ever watched the movie 'Pay it forward', where a boy helps three people and they each help three other people ad infinitum (nearly!)..

Maybe this is not the right way to do it, but I think we should all somehow band together and use all our minds in a common effort of some sort.

Alone we are weak, together we a strong!

 

[Andrew]

This post sounds familiar.

Actually I have already 'beaten' SA as much is it probably can be beaten, but developed OCD.

It is just about confronting your fears instead of avoiding them. The confusion lies in what confronting your fears means. I think people avoid their fears even when they think they are confronting them by being in social situations. A psychologist once got me to repetitively expose myself to my fears in a gradual and structured manner and it worked.

I had a gf at the time and was scared to death around her, not knowing what to say and so on. One example of something I had to do was allocate a certain amount of time every time I called her to not actually saying anything other than answering her questions. The fear would build up as that awkward silence came.. but over time it went away and I no longer was scared of having nothing to say. When I stopped panicking I found that conversation flowed pretty easily. This was contrary to the avoidance behaviour of before where I would try to come up with questions beforehand, fill in silence with singing, and so on.

People do not realise that things like coming up with the entire structure and wording of a conversation beforehand are actually avoidance of fear, and therefore strengthing their anxiety.

 

[playthepsychedelic]

This post sounds familiar.

Actually I have already 'beaten' SA as much is it probably can be beaten, but developed OCD.

It is just about confronting your fears instead of avoiding them. The confusion lies in what confronting your fears means. I think people avoid their fears even when they think they are confronting them by being in social situations. A psychologist once got me to repetitively expose myself to my fears in a gradual and structured manner and it worked.

I had a gf at the time and was scared to death around her, not knowing what to say and so on. One example of something I had to do was allocate a certain amount of time every time I called her to not actually saying anything other than answering her questions. The fear would build up as that awkward silence came.. but over time it went away and I no longer was scared of having nothing to say. When I stopped panicking I found that conversation flowed pretty easily. This was contrary to the avoidance behaviour of before where I would try to come up with questions beforehand, fill in silence with singing, and so on.

People do not realise that things like coming up with the entire structure and wording of a conversation beforehand are actually avoidance of fear, and therefore strengthing their anxiety.

but isn't the real problem that we are afraid to speak, rather than we are afraid for the long silences? I mean, I think the avoidance of these long silences isn't something typical for people with SA, but being afraid to say something, and breaking that silence is.
or am I missing the point here

 

[NormanBates]

Lots of children are afraid of the dark. Then they get older and realize that the dark is nothing to be avoided. Just like how awkward or embarrassing moments of life are always going to be found, what's the point of being afraid of them?

The result of introverts putting their minds together I'm guessing shows itself in the form of our many academic institutions, local ballet theaters, public broadcasting, community gardens, all of the old religious institutions, and so on.

Maybe not that these are things formed strictly by introverts, but that they are things that someone might attribute to an introverted character. Things that inspire mental stimulation and allow someone to go off alone with only their thoughts.

I'm guessing society can always benefit from some introvert-inspired activity. Even if it does start with a secret society which uses a secret handshake...

 

[Andrew]

but isn't the real problem that we are afraid to speak, rather than we are afraid for the long silences? I mean, I think the avoidance of these long silences isn't something typical for people with SA, but being afraid to say something, and breaking that silence is.
or am I missing the point here

No it is typical. The fears you mention are also typical. There are many things that we fear. Not having anything to say, not saying the right thing, our voice being judged negatively, etc.