Hi MY NAME IS PEN AND I HAVE SOCIAL PHOBIA It has become a pshyciatric condition because of the extent and the length of time of the problem and the impact it has on me makes me wont to give up altogether and die, I am insane most of the time worrying what others think of me.. I think its going to drive me mad at times. I have never really reached out for real help other than reading books about SA and my doctor has been prescribing me with anti depressants which do not help me. I once had CBT some time ago. I would like to explain that I have a problems speaking in groups but you wouldnt think so because I can talk and talk until the cows come home but it hasnt always been that way! You wouldnt think I had such a problem because I come across as confident, and again it hasnt always been that way. I think I am making up for lost time as a child I was so shy I never interacted or socialized because of all the fear and of what could go wrong. In adulthood I turned to alcohol and drugs and that just caused more problems. I now attend the 12 step programme of AA as a result of my excessive binge drinking. It is a fantastic programme and it has helped me get my life back in order but the speaking and sharing stuff at the meetings has been a complete nightmare for me and at first I couldnt understand myself. I get so caught up in what im trying to say that it comes out disorginised and sounds like nonsense and people have avoided me i have noticed over time. The worse thing about it all is the post mortem part afterwards that I cannot seem to stop which makes it much worse and it is so difficult to stop and change how i think half way through despite CBT. I know my thinking is irrational all the same but why do I carry on doing it. It is painful that I dont wont to go back to the meetings and face people because I feel so foolish and inadequate. I am belittling myself and I come across as having low self esteem and unconfident which i am when it comes to theese meetings and sharing stuff. It feels like im doomed if i do and doomed if i dont share my inventory and its so important to share its a big part of my recovery depends on it. SA dominates my every waking day moment by moment night and day day in day out, I have become obsessed with it all and drained.I cannot stop going to the meetings as that is not the answer. I have felt so alone and isolated, bitter and resentful at the world and at myself. I keep trying to explain to other members of the meetings that i have SA and they say everyone is scared at talking up and it makes me feel even more isolated. I do not wont to give up on myself or the meetings as I have come a long way from where I once was and its now time I start to adress this matter as it has become a bigger problem than it has me recovering from the drug alcohol which I use to drink in excess to blot things out and as a confidence booster. i am looking forward to attending meetings for this condition so i can learn how to recover from yet another dilema.
social phobia
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shrinkingviolet
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I feel your pain. For most of life I was being destroyed by social anxiety and NOBODY understood me. I felt so lonely and misunderstood and the only time I felt free from my inhibitions was when I was totally piss-drunk. In my opinion, social phobia is a special form of hell! But fortunately, there are many things you can do. Here are a few tips that really helped me turn my life around:
Exercise! (the more you move, the better you feel. Its been proven over and over again)
Examine your beliefs about yourself and the world and change the ones that don't serve you.
Meditate for atleast 20 minutes a day everyday. It'll help you feelmore relaxed and at ease.
Be more conscious about what you put into your body and do the basics such as drinking enough water.
Take note of all your small wins! Its easy to get caught up in all the things you're doing wrong when you suffer from social phobia so make the conscious decision to shift your focus to all the things you did well.
Flex your courage muscle by doing one tiny thing that is out of your comfort zone everyday.
Try these out and I'm sure you'll a lot better in a few weeks.
.
Exercise! (the more you move, the better you feel. Its been proven over and over again)
Examine your beliefs about yourself and the world and change the ones that don't serve you.
Meditate for atleast 20 minutes a day everyday. It'll help you feelmore relaxed and at ease.
Be more conscious about what you put into your body and do the basics such as drinking enough water.
Take note of all your small wins! Its easy to get caught up in all the things you're doing wrong when you suffer from social phobia so make the conscious decision to shift your focus to all the things you did well.
Flex your courage muscle by doing one tiny thing that is out of your comfort zone everyday.
Try these out and I'm sure you'll a lot better in a few weeks.
.