Hi Kevd,
Yea, i would say bullying has contributed to my SA as well. Alot of people say it builds character but I think that's a bunch of crock because alot of people seriously get f***ed up pretty badly. I would say bullying is on the same level as abuse by family but you don't see the bullies getting in serious trouble. When I was a child I watched other kids being bullied in front of their teachers and nothing was done about it, they just watched and even joked around with the bullies. Those teachers should of been fired and the bullies put into therapy. I heard about this study they did on Rhesus monkeys that found 20% of the population to be socially avoidant or behaviorally inhibited and this matched the population of humans and apparently this behaviour is genetically passed on. But they also found that if they switched the infant monkeys at birth they would completely change and be very outgoing. So anyways, this 20% of the population is stressed out more by changes in their social enviroment and pretty much determines who gets to dominate who.
"This means it is possible that some of us are preprogrammed to watch for others who are more "dominate" than us, to evaluate the possibility, however slight, of their rejection, and to act in any way needed to indicate our social submissiveness. If our more subtle gestures, such as avoiding eye contact, do not reassure us of our acceptance, then we will act out more primitive responses, by escaping, freezing, or avoiding contact altogether. These responses, when reflective of a biological predisposition, will occur instinctually, with little or no conscious thought."
http://www.anxieties.com/sap-more.php
I always find myself being submissive to those who are more aggressive and larger than I am without being aware of it. Now I realize this and I try to ignore my impulse to back down from others. And I can blame most of this behaviour on bullying growing up as a kid.
Anyways, that's where martial arts classes begin. Then once you learn to fight, nobody can dominate you...unless they have a gun of course, but thats the way of a coward.
For most of us on here, this SA/SP is just a conditioned response to others and can be repaired with a little bit of work.
