I've somehow ended up with the numbers of some (ie. 3/4) of the people who I work with. But they're all female and are all attached. So if I, say, wanted to go and see a film, I still have literally no friends that I can ask to join me. Or can I? Common sense seems to say 'no' but what is going too far? Would asking them to bring their boyfriend make it okay?
Social conventions and all that
- Thread starter aj
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Dave_McFadden
Well-known member
Well, THEY know they're attached, so if they gave your their phone numbers, then 1) they're OK with you calling them and 2) they understand that you're not asking them on a "date" (since you know yhey're attached). I mean, YOU know it's not a date, right? Just like asking a male co-worker to join you at the bar after work, except they're women rather then men.
And if they ask to bring their boyfriends, then that's fine. After all, it's not a date. And if you're extremely lucky, they may bring a female friend along. Don't count on it but be prepared in case.
Although, I am curious about this "somehow"... They know you have their numbers, right? You didn't "Google" them and stalk them did you? lol...
Actually, the mechanics of this "somehow" might benefit some of us on the site, myself included...did you find the balls to ask directly?
And if they ask to bring their boyfriends, then that's fine. After all, it's not a date. And if you're extremely lucky, they may bring a female friend along. Don't count on it but be prepared in case.
aj said:
Although, I am curious about this "somehow"... They know you have their numbers, right? You didn't "Google" them and stalk them did you? lol...
Actually, the mechanics of this "somehow" might benefit some of us on the site, myself included...did you find the balls to ask directly?
Nah, not really. One was going to do something with me one weekend a long time ago which never happened. One felt sorry for me. One I didn't want to lose contact with when we stopped working together. One borrowed a CD from me.
I only asked the second one myself, and it's only her who will actually answer my messages AND wouldn't look like my mum and dad if we were to go out. In fact I recently went to the pub for her birthday but that's a different story
I'm so worried that I'll say something, they'll get the wrong end of the stick and never talk to me again. I know you learn from mistakes but I don't want that to happen in this case if I can help it.
I only asked the second one myself, and it's only her who will actually answer my messages AND wouldn't look like my mum and dad if we were to go out. In fact I recently went to the pub for her birthday but that's a different story
I'm so worried that I'll say something, they'll get the wrong end of the stick and never talk to me again. I know you learn from mistakes but I don't want that to happen in this case if I can help it.
GloomySunday
Well-known member
What a dilemma! I've had people's numbers in the past but if I sense that it's done in a "...but I don't expect you to ever actually use it" sort of way I usually disregard them. You know in your heart if the numbers were given freely and genuinely or not.
At best, why not try a group outing with a few of them? That way it's not a "Will you come out with me?" scenario, but more of a "Will you come out with us?" situation.
That sometimes makes things a bit easier and avoids confusion!
At best, why not try a group outing with a few of them? That way it's not a "Will you come out with me?" scenario, but more of a "Will you come out with us?" situation.
That sometimes makes things a bit easier and avoids confusion!