In my whole life I have never done most things I love because of social anxiety and it kind of sucks.
I want to go uni next year to study film and moving image production at Norwhich university college of the arts and again social anxiety is holding me back
I don't want to go, no matter my passion of wanting to work in film because I will be miserable and I know it, I will have no friends, I will be living in the halls and there will be no comfort of knowing that soon the day will be over and I can go home and talk and be myself. This course is proper social, the first day you are put into teams and have to make a film, its all about being a leader, standing out, being the best, confidence, having not just good but amazing communication skills and everything else I cannot do :/ Strong communication skills are so important in this course and now I am just thinking maybe I should not do it, I will just make a fool of myself and I won't get anywhere with it. I think that I am creative enough to do it but its all about team work and I will have to SAY my ideas or I will just fade in the background and never get anywhere. I am so sick and pissed of because it gets in the way of everything and now my dreams :'( Sometimes I really try and I can never speak, nothing comes out and when I am in a situation when I have to be social or speak I pretty much have a panic attack. I shake, sweat, I also am in physical pain my stomach like hurts sooooo bad when I am in those situations :/ and if I do manage to get a word out its sooo quite that sometimes people don't even notice I have opened my mouth or if they do it sounds so stupid and sounds nothing like me at all :/
I don't wish to be all loud and confident at all, I have learned to live with the way that I am but now that I want to do something I really love I just wish I could be able to speak up, be confident in myself. Having friends and being social, I am not too bothered about but just getting on with it and talking without pretty much having a break down over saying just one sentence will be nice :/
Does SA hold any of you back?
I want to go uni next year to study film and moving image production at Norwhich university college of the arts and again social anxiety is holding me back
I don't want to go, no matter my passion of wanting to work in film because I will be miserable and I know it, I will have no friends, I will be living in the halls and there will be no comfort of knowing that soon the day will be over and I can go home and talk and be myself. This course is proper social, the first day you are put into teams and have to make a film, its all about being a leader, standing out, being the best, confidence, having not just good but amazing communication skills and everything else I cannot do :/ Strong communication skills are so important in this course and now I am just thinking maybe I should not do it, I will just make a fool of myself and I won't get anywhere with it. I think that I am creative enough to do it but its all about team work and I will have to SAY my ideas or I will just fade in the background and never get anywhere. I am so sick and pissed of because it gets in the way of everything and now my dreams :'( Sometimes I really try and I can never speak, nothing comes out and when I am in a situation when I have to be social or speak I pretty much have a panic attack. I shake, sweat, I also am in physical pain my stomach like hurts sooooo bad when I am in those situations :/ and if I do manage to get a word out its sooo quite that sometimes people don't even notice I have opened my mouth or if they do it sounds so stupid and sounds nothing like me at all :/ I don't wish to be all loud and confident at all, I have learned to live with the way that I am but now that I want to do something I really love I just wish I could be able to speak up, be confident in myself. Having friends and being social, I am not too bothered about but just getting on with it and talking without pretty much having a break down over saying just one sentence will be nice :/
Does SA hold any of you back?
