Social anxiety and family

[EscapeArtist]

Sigh.... I mean I'm making improvement, gradual improvement. That is good..

Why is it that social anxiety has to also take away my family?
My little sister is crying out for somebody to comfort her, to hug her when she cries, for a physical and emotional connection. I've had to see her, only 15 years old, go through abusive relationships looking for this, heavy drugs, thoughts of suicide... And still. She cries. And. I. Shy. Away......... Stiffen. I don't let myself move to hug her.

.....It kills me. I am her Idol. I am the only person she has. But I can't be there for her... I can't hug her, I cant even touch her on the arm. I get awkward and stiff around her when she shares extreme emotions.. when she shares sacred poetry that she shares with nobody else.

And what kills me the most.. Is that I am just like my mother. I am doing this to her. I am helping her become me. She is my love, my little sister, everything I try and be the best for.

Are there smaller ways I can practice this kind of stuff?? On a daily basis? I would do anything! BUT STILL I can't do it when the moment comes.

 

[BlackPuma]

I feel for you, I do the same thing with my boyfriend. Friction just numbs things, it's quite horrible.

My best suggestion would be; try to compensate with little timely considerate gifts. They don't necessarily have to be material gifts. It can be as simple as saying something nice randomly. And the best gift of all, try to be positive around her when she's going through a tough time, even when she's not talking about it, or even lets you know that's she's not feeling well.

We all unconsciously copy our role models. Everyone that has one, of course. And if you are positive when she's down, she more likely to gain strength from you, without even speaking to you. Any possible verbal advice/help you give her would just be extra.

It's not much, but it's what I do. The only way I know how to help.

 

[Kinetik]

I hear you. My parents were very cold to me growing up, and now I feel like I'm too unapproachable and indifferent towards people and life as a whole. If I am involved in something, it's only because I can be analytical about it, rather than emotionally invested.

Anyway, try going with what Puma said. Force yourself to make some sort of effort or gesture, even if your mind feels blank.

 

[EscapeArtist]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the responses.
I suppose the little things will have to do for now. I'll try to fit in a lot of praise and cheer her up for now, even though she very much needs that hug. Maybe i'm expecting too much from myself and this improvement. It's just so hard to watch her so desperate as i'm only improving so gradually and can't do much at the moment!